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"N U M B!"
When the heart is never the same
"An intense and realistic essay."

"The two basic definitions" of the heart are as follow:
1.The organ in your chest that pumps blood through your veins and arteries. 2.The heart thought of as the place where emotions are felt.

I am choosing to speak about the second definition today, because it needs careful and extremely needed attention. As the definition explained that the heart is also thought of as the place where our emotions are felt.

Now, we can all agree to that to be so, right?

The matters that I want to bring up right now are the "matters of the heart."
Not only what the heart feels, or why it feels, but also what it goes through as it is feeling. The reason why this is so important for me to speak about is because our hearts could only take so much, as the saying goes.
If that saying was not accurate then there wouldn't be such a thing as heartache.

Am I right?

Very often we use the phrase,
"I love you with all my heart"
when we are inclined to express our deepest emotions to a loved one.
But is that really fair? And if it is, to whom is it really fair to?
The receiving end of that statement now has full control of the sender's vulnerability of that same statement. Once it's said, it is out there. At that moment, there is no turning back nor, is the sender of that statement thinking about the consequences of that statement just made.
What I'm trying to convey is that such statements like those are so powerful and intense, that it could cause either great joy or an emotional tragedy.

Sometimes, the way that we put ourselves in certain situations or positions could work strongly against us. Now mind you, we only have one heart and about a handful of people that we trust and love dearly. Yet, we as humans are so imperfect, that without our awareness or without any intentions could really hurt someone else's heart so bad that it begins to feel great melancholy and not the great love that we made that statement to them with "all of our hearts."

The heart is known to be a muscle, and medically speaking, it is. But we are talking about the "matters of the heart." The place where emotions are felt as mentioned in the beginning.
I like to think that in this case the heart would be more like a bone. The reason why I am making such a statement is because, just like a bone when the heart gets is and will never be the same again. Just like a broken bone or fracture, when the heart is broken, it is in grievous pain. So therefore, it needs time to heal and it needs special care and attention.
The way that some people show their hearts special care and attention is by giving their wounded heart to another, just like when one leg is broken, the other leg will always compensate for that other one.

Do you see where I'm getting at?

Then there are those hearts that have been through so many tribulations within their entire life, that they get to the point whenever they experience heartache, they say " I'm used to it."
That is exactly when the heart is feeling numb. It no longer has the strength nor, the motivation to put itself out there again. It's just like our hands or our feet. When we do the same repetitive activities, they tend to build up 'calluses." So our hearts, because of great distress and hurt, can also metaphorically build up or become covered with protective, but abnormal calluses,
(just like the photo below.)
You see with these individuals, they have been through too much to bare it any longer, and so they build up these walls over their hearts not just because they have been hurt so much, but because that's all they know.

They haven't experienced the "lotion of love."

What I mean by that, is that just like the calluses on our feet or hands need to be moisturized, our hearts also need something softer than the usual "deck of cards" that we sometimes or most of the times get dealt.

I would like to also point out that we all have choices. It's just a matter of making the right ones at the beginning and not to wait too long to the point of those choices of suddenly becoming obligations. Although, for some with those callused covered hearts that are completely numb, never have had choices in their beginnings. Whether it be childhood, or unfortunate circumstances and incidents, they just never have gotten the right "deck of cards" dealt to them personally.

It's sad, but very, very real.

I would of liked to have finished this essay with a happy ending, but the realistic truth of the "matters of the heart" is that once it has been hurt, lied to, cheated, mistreated, abused, played with, tricked, mislead, unappreciated, and has been fooled and misguided by those that are supposed to have showed them the love at their beginning stages of that special place where emotions are felt, those tender hearts are the ones that we should all want to get to know and bring comfort to. Not just in those times of need, because half of the time they get unnoticed, but because those are the Lost Souls of the "HEARTACHE."

Written by The One and Only
-iN ZiLunS™

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This is a poetic essay that I just wrote the other day after a conversation with the most intriguing and sweetest man.
He definitely is very special and he has such a gentle soul. So this poetic essay is dedicated to the one with the inspiration behind this writing piece.
This is dedicated to
+ROYALE w/cheese​. Thank you 😘😘

A poetic essay written by -iN ZiLunS™
and inspired by +ROYALE w/cheese​.

We often think that it is LOVE that does the changing.
Why is that, when the people that we LOVE, all of a sudden act different?
What about circumstances and situations?
What about all the romantic episodes that at one point grabbed us at an instance?

We think that it is the women only that are swept off their feet,
when in actuality it is also the men feeling really deep.
Why should we underestimate a man's potential to LOVE?
Why should we favor the woman all the time as if she will always rise above?

Doesn't the Bible in the book of Proverbs say that "two are better than one?"
Doesn't it always take two for someone to have won?

It's time to be real with ourselves and own up to our responsibilities.
It's time to support one another on our potentials and abilities.
Why walk away from a relationship when you have invested a good amount of time?
What makes us say to each other at the end: that's yours and this is mine?
When at one moment in time it all belonged to "us."
Don't others think about us when we are alone and at a loss?

based on assumptions and never on determinations.
Determinations to give it another try.
The passion of our tender hearts when we begin to cry.

We say that LOVE hurts, but that is definitely not true.
It is that person themselves that is hurting you.

LOVE is a precious gift from the heavens above.
So don't blame it on LOVE or give it all up,
just because you got hurt, and what's half empty is your cup.

Stay positive and be true to yourself.
Don't walk away from your mate as if they were just a book on a shelf.

If you are going to be in someone's life for a reason,
just make sure that it just isn't for a moment or a season.
For, a person's heart is not a toy or something to play with.
Because if you do, you do not know if that person is hurting enough to take their last breath.

It is your responsibility to honor your mate.
If not... hit the road after that first date.
It's a gift that you even got that close.
It's a privilege that someone's heart saw you, and you they chose.

Jumping at the first person you see,
is like thinking that it was meant to be.
For LOVE takes real time and effort.
Then and only then, will it provide understanding and comfort.

So next time think twice when you blame it on LOVE for all your heartache and pain,
and learn to fall in LOVE with someone that you value, like your best friend.

The One and Only
-iN ZiLunS™


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Wednesday night a close and dear friend of mine that I've know for years, brought up the serious matter of MARGINALIZATION to my attention and requested that I write something about the issue.
Right away I did lots of research on the subject and I was taken back by how many people have and are effected by this outrageous behavior.
As I was writing the first draft that same night, I became extremely emotional and filled with great grief.
It took several drafts to calm myself down as the words just poured out my soul. I ended up writing my poetic essay which I named
I posted it here on my personal page and reshared it with over 50 poetic and writing communities that I have both the honor and privilege to be part of.

This quote is dedicated to my close and dear friend
+Alex Jazrawi​​ and everyone else out there throughout the whole world that has been effected by this madness.

Stay blessed everyone.
Love always,
-iN ZiLunS™

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a poetic essay written by
The One and Only
-iN ZiLunS™

Marginalization, suppression...
voices of discrimination.
Oppression in socialization...
everyone's effected
whether black, brown or Asian.
Robbed from their
wants, desires and needs,
from those high up in office as leads.
Without a voice,
and a sense of suffocation within.
Being prejudged simply because of their social class
and color of their skin.

Where is the justice?
Where is the peace?
Why should those in control
feel like they can do as they please?
Aren't we all God's children
and weren't we all made equally?
Or am I more of value than you,
or you of me?

A strong sensation of retaliation
because of all the discrimination.
Not just in poor countries, cities or
neighborhoods, but across the nation.

Marginalized voices
without any choices,
as they fight back for their rights
as citizens just to have access
to simple resources.

Men, women, children,
race, creed, sexual orientation,
the disabled, poor, uneducated,
or anyone that is different.
It's a serious and intensified subject.
Even those that are
outspoken and frustrated,
are also being suppressed,
mistreated, abused and hated.

So where is there a place to go
and what is there to do?
What is the answer if it was
happening personally to you?

By any chance, have you wondered why so many people get fed up
and start to retaliate?
They have no hope
and they feel like change
is taking its time and coming too late.
Tired of being looked down upon
and constantly feeling the threshold
by those that discriminate.

Marginalization is being taken very lightly by those doing all the hate.
They try to intimidate
by making others feel inferior.
They turn up their noses, push out their chests, and act all superior.

Enough is enough!!
It's bad enough
that making a living is tough,
without any jobs, money or food.
Without self-expression and
being constantly misunderstood.

They travel to find "freedom"
in other countries,
just to discover the same problems.
No one fighting for them,
so they take matters into their own hands to try to solve them.

It's just like a puzzle with missing pieces, but it's serious because those being deprived are dying of hunger and deceases.

So I ask again, where is the justice?
Where is the peace?
When will marginalization and discrimination finally cease?

So please, don't look away
when your country is being unfair.
There's still so many out there
living without,
and being harassed and in great fear!!


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Essay written by -iN ZiLunS™

such a powerful word with a direct meaning. Have you ever looked it up in a dictionary? It falls several pages after the word, "reconciliation." Have you ever looked up that word before? That's also a powerful word.
Two words, not that far apart from one another, but yet, with opposite meanings...makes you wonder where I'm getting at, right?

The word "retaliation" originally was used for not just in a negative sense but also in a positive sense. It came into the English vocabulary in 1560 and it is derived from the Latin word "retaliare" which means "pay back in kind." The word retaliare never once had just a negative feeling to it, nor, did it have a positive feeling to it either.

So who put in that negative effect??
That's the question.

Let me ask you this... why is it that every single time that the word "payback" is mentioned, one leads to conclude that one party will automatically lose something in exchange for the secondary to gain something? Why can't it be like the phrase "even Stevens," as children say? Where did all this negative behavior come from? Is it because we are so imperfect that we automatically gear towards the minus on any given "communication equation?"

If that is so, then what is next?

Just out of curiosity...when you are extremely thirsty, do you just passively pour yourself several half-full cups of water, or do you grab that cup at an instant and fill it to the top and quench your thirst? I'm suspecting that you are choosing the latter, am I correct?
It would be silly of you if you would do otherwise, right?
So in the same fashion, why can't we incline ourselves to use positivity in problem-solving situations?
Why is it so hard for us to lean towards optimism?
If we did, this world would be a happier place for us all to live in.

What would of become of Jesus Christ if he retaliated?
After all, if anyone has suffered the most ever in history, it's him and he alone. For Jesus Christ suffered and died for all of our sins...yours, mines, your children, parents, best friends, etc. The Holy Bible guarantees us, that there isn't any of us that is not effected by that "ransom sacrifice."
Do you believe that? So do I!!
For God Almighty did not send His Son Jesus Christ in vain. He send him on a mission with a direct purpose for all of us to benefit.
Which one of you would sacrifice your son or daughter to suffer and die for your co-worker?
Which one of you think that it doesn't hurt grievously to watch that happen before your very eyes?
Well then, did you ever wonder how God felt that day when His Son died?

I do.

If my parents did not retaliate against one another, I would of grown up with a family and would of been able to describe my mother in details, but I can't and I'm a writer. That doesn't matter, because I never had her.
I know I'm not the only one.

If Dr. King would of retaliated then what would of become of civil rights?

Just yesterday there was a massacre in San Bernardino, California because someone retaliated.

How many wars must we have to have world peace?
Doesn't that sound like an oxymoron? War and peace??
Aren't you fed up??

I am.
Enough is enough!!

Look, the changes come and will always come with you first.

Next time someone upsets you please, do not retaliate, but instead conciliate.
You'll see the difference in both your personality and well being.

Thank you.

"Above all things, have intense love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins." -1 Peter 4:8


يهمس لي
يقبلني ..

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