Stream

Join this community to post or comment

Samuel Fridh

Discussion  - 
 
I have started a Wikia page about the enneagram; I figured it may be useful to have a page with information that is gathered at one place. You can access it here: http://the-enneagram.wikia.com/wiki/Type_Nine?venotify=created
1
Add a comment...
 
New #Enneagram blog post: Learn how knowing your Instincts helps with meeting your relationship needs.
1
Samuel Fridh's profile photo
 
I liked your description of the SP instinct. I find that a lot of enneagram literature is too focused on describing it as being about health, hearth, money etc. As you point out, it may express itself that way, but it most of all focuses on seeking to preserve the self in a more grounded, physical way. 
Add a comment...
 
New blog post: What #Enneagram types do you see in your community? Here are some we've found in San Francisco neighborhoods.
Enneagram types are not only found in people. They also exist in the spirits of places and cultures. When we traveled to Portugal for the European Enneagram Conference last year, we found ourselves...
1
Add a comment...
 
And...here are my thoughts on the Six. Agree? Disagree? Please share your insights! Some of my favorite people have this personality type.
We remain in the Head Center this week with an exploration of Type Six. A joke in the Enneagram world is that if you can’t figure out which type you are, you’re probably a Six. That’s because the S...
1
Samuel Fridh's profile photo
 
I think you err on focusing too much on 6s who have the social instinct; not every 6 is going to be interested in groups and social institutions, causes and the like to stand behind. Some will, some may not. SP and SX 6s may be more loner-esque kind of types, caring most of all for themselves (and their intimates) than they do social groups and causes. With that said, 6s do seek to find something greater than themselves to believe in, but it needn't be the social aspect that is of relevance. It can be as simple as faith in itself, the idea of a God, rather than the religious institution. 

I also feel that you exaggerate the loyalty of the 6 in that they are the most convicted for the cause. They can be, but they also do struggle with their doubting which may result in the very opposite behavior, and let's be honest, very few 6s are going to be that extreme in their undying devotion. You may see a similar attitude manifest in say, 2s or 1s, as a counter-example, though of  course for very different reasons. 

As for phobic vs. counter-phobic and counter-phobic vis-a-vis 8, I first of all think enneagram literature tends to over-stress and exaggerate phobic and counter-phobic, as most 6s often manifest different aspects of phobic and counter-phobic in various parts of their life and very few fall very clearly into either category, and where they fall tends to often be more a manifestation of other external influence such as gender roles or even cognitive types (I staunchly believe in that xSxPs are the most likely to come across as counter-phobic due to the very way Se itself works as a cognitive function); secondly, I think enneagram literature also equally over-stresses and exaggerates the similarities counter-phobic 6s have with 8s, as the reactive formation of the two types are extremely opposed and very different from one another.

A 6, regardless of how phobic or counter-phobic they are, will, during times of stress and challenge, react in a way that will publicly express their fears as a decisive way to ward off potential threat and criticism. They may take on a victim-complex but contrary to the 8, will not necessarily blame  their adversary as much as they will downplay their own role in orchestrating the situation. The focus is on the self and how the self is perceived by the other, rather than how the self perceives the other. 8s, during times of confict and stress, will deny the rights of others while staunchly express their own needs for rights and will put blame on anyone who opposes their sense of truth of the current  situation (usually some emotional wound that they are experiencing in the moment). 6s will be found in the trap of vacillation to on the one hand wanting to reject but on the other hand feel needed. I like Riso & Hudson's expression that 6s can come across as very hot and cold, one moment seeking attention but the other strongly rejecting. 8s never express themselves through this kind of vacillation, as their worldview is that of extreme egocentrism and thus also denying the existence of the other in their object relations. They will place the blame onto the other and then decidedly reject the other and if they deem it necessary, cut the other off and they will do it without second thought if they think it is warranted, which they do if they are blaming the other. To the 8, their perspective is always the most right one, whereas 6s can express a strong sense of certainty one moment, to later strongly regret their show of certainty and doubting if it was too much. 

I personally think your article would be better off trying to elucidate on the inner mechanisms and working of the 6. Stanford Encyclopedia's article on existentialism is a good start in how to make sense of the inner experience that 6s share. 
Add a comment...
 
The ultimate Seven song! I can't imagine most of the other Types writing it. :)
1
1
Pamela Sprague's profile photoVan Thuy's profile photo
2 comments
 
Now I'm going to try to find my 6 song!

Add a comment...

Jeffrey Brown

Discussion  - 
 
5w6, so/sx/sp. 584.  I am an advisory board member for a local enneagram group in my area (Las Vegas). I'm happy to share whatever I know. 
2
Susan Wilkinson's profile photoJeffrey Brown's profile photo
2 comments
 
Great to be here +Susan Wilkinson! As a 5, you are probably aware my interests are all over the map. While I may be a skeptic in some ways, the Enneagram does seem to provide the right sort of "handles" for just about anyone whose interested to get an idea of themselves and use that knowledge to grow as a person.  I am quite interested in the exploration of the psyche in all its many forms. 
Add a comment...

Kristian Hailey

Discussion  - 
 
What's up guys. Its been a while since I took the enneagram. I remember I'm type 5 but I can't remember my subtypes or wings. What is a good link for a test to find out?
1
Heath Davis Havlick's profile photoSamuel Fridh's profile photo
3 comments
 
Personally, I am strongly of the idea of not advocating tests; tests only tend to tell you that which you already know which, if you have yet to begin to unravel your own introspection journey, will not be much. I for example often, if not always, score 5 on tests. I am not a 5 but an 8. I tend to score 5 because in the MBTI I am an INTJ and thus thinking activity, especially theory, is something close to my heart. There is a lot of unfortunate overlap this way, in that INTx types often end up typing as 5 on tests  but may be a very different type in actuality. Common types are 6 and 9, other than 5, based on my own statistics. 

So therefore, the best typing tool is introspection. There is no cheap and short way to figure out your type more than high level of self-awareness and gaining a decent understanding of the types and the system.
Add a comment...
 
New blog post: Finding Wisdom in Your Enneagram Type.
  This past weekend, Kacie volunteered at the Wisdom 2.0 Conference in San Francisco. In an era where mindfulness practices are increasingly utilized in the business and tech world, Wisdom 2.0...
1
Add a comment...
 
Kacie's new travel article, #Spain, #Portugal, and an #Enneagram  Conference, is out!
1
Add a comment...

Michael Winkler

Discussion  - 
 
The framework of enneagraphical storm prediction ;)
Sunny greetings from Switzerland!
1
Add a comment...
 
Hi everyone!
i'm happy to discover this group :)
looking forward to an interesting exchange!
In the blog i post below, i'm writing about the enneagram types in their "stormy" forms... i'm trying to create a early-warning system for families and couples by helping recognizing personalty disorders. let me know what you think!
(i hope the translation works, as i write the blog in german)
Greetings from Switzerland!
Michael
Gefühlstyp 2: "Der Helfer" Orientierung: Fühlen Ausdruck: Handeln In den Dienst gestellt: eigenes Denken Sucht: Wertschätzung ...
1
Samuel Fridh's profile photo
 
Unfortunately, it is much too butchered in English. I'd recommend try to write your blog in English if possible. It seems you got an interesting perspective to contribute.
Add a comment...

Éric SALMON

Discussion  - 
 
Hello Everybody, If you speak french this survey is for you... It's about Enneagram and credibility !!! Please, answer and i will give you results in english ;)

Eric Salmon
 ·  Translate
Votre avis nous intéresse !!! Merci de répondre à ce questionnaire. Eric Salmon
1
Ladislav Svoboda's profile photo
 
Hi Eric.
I am from the Czech Republic. Please version in English. Thank you.
Ladislav.
Add a comment...

Dinah Donovon

Discussion  - 
 
Ok...I am going to TRY to nutshell this and any feedback would be appreciated. It involves FOURS and ONES. 

I am an introverted, artistic Type 4 and have actually tested over 600 people during the course of a decade long study because I was finding patterns within the Enneagram and I wanted to write a book on it, but not until I had tested over 1000 people.

In that time I of course tested all my friends, lovers, family (found that I had A LOT of 5's around me.. seemed to get along with them very well.... though I am with a 7,oddly enough... and have been for nearly as many years.)

I learned to spot certain types well.... HOWEVER.. because I was working on notes for the book, I usually typed "new people" within a week or two of meeting them.. I made a friend in the 90's.. and just in the 3 weeks it took me to have the time to test him, he was rubbing me the wrong way. 

He ended up being an extreme Type One. He is the only "Type One" to ever be in my inner circle because I have often tested people I already didn't like and SURPRISE they are a 1 or an 8.

A decade later that male type 1 was stalking me across four states and I had to take out several restraining orders, he would find me no matter where I went. He would send me dozens of letters of love and then the following day 3 letters about what a "fucking disgusting whore" I was... then the following day, 5 letters (handwritten, snail mail) excusing his drunken letters from 'yesterday', I am "a Goddess" and "nobody could ever love me like he did".

You get the picture.. This severe TYPE One was unhealthy and PSYCHO. Since my Type 7 Partner is only a few inches from being 7 feet tall when wearing his boots, the stalker has laid off in recent years, thankfully. (I'm not saying that Type Ones are stalkers. I had a second stalker years later in NYC who I am ashamed to say was a 4, like me, so stalking and type are not connected.)

But here is the bizarre thing: as an introverted 4, I have a few friends that go back YEARS, I am slow to make new ones, and my loyalty and devotion run DEEP.... so my friends, I have known HALF of my life but they are all over the globe now, you know?!  So a year ago I met a neighbor... was friendly. Started emailing each other though she lived above me like 9 months ago... and about 6 months ago, we became fast friends.. I walked her dog, watched her kids, you name it (A Four's love and friendship is intense and so she had many crisis's and I was Johnny-on-the-Spot for each and every one of them). 

I kept putting off testing her....just never had the time to sit down and do it properly .. I seriously thought she'd be a 2.... it fit.. the niceness.... with the drama when felt unappreciated.... So I tested her.... and she scored as the highest female Type One I have EVER tested... in fact... her Male counterpart was the crazy guy who had stalked me since he was in his 30's and I was 16!!

I was confused.. I have tested 650 plus people...  and she, the best female friend I had made in almost a decade... was the ONE TYPE I usually CAN'T STAND?!?! But I brushed it off.... thought maybe I'd retest her later on.. maybe it's different if you were a "healthy female"...

THEN DONNA REED TORE HER FACE OFF and A PSYCHO KILLER was under there!! Seriously, I forgot about it after testing her... her kids had come to call me Aunt Dinah. I started a fundraiser to help her out financially.. everyday she wrote me how she didn't know what she would do without my friendship and I would see what she wanted from the store, we'd take her kids to the library, walk her dog... Keys to each others house (I had hers so I could walk her dog, she had mine after their toilet broke so they could just come in and use the guest bathroom...) Then about 10 days ago, out of the CLEAR BLUE SKY (EXACTLY LIKE With the 'Type 1' Stalker I had), I awoke to 5 or 6 increasingly horrible and bizarre rants, emails,  threats, texts, and just crazy s&^T. My husband, his mother, and MY MUM (an actual psychotherapist) said this was Bipolar/Manic Depression to the 10th degree. 

I am trying to calm her down and the nicer I am, the more crazy and wild her allegations get until finally, at 3:30 in the MORNING, she is THROWING things at our front door, SCREAMING in our UPSCALE ENCLOSED condo building that she is "praying to god to make me crippled for life so I can't have children" (I walk with a cane right now until I have surgery this summer to fix my back and can't have a family til them... it's a cruel thing to say to a woman collecting baby clothes), that I am a JUNKIE (because I told her to give her 16 year old a break when he got his FIRST GIRLFRIEND because at 16, I was drinking, drugging, AND having sex so he was a GOOD KID!!) and (the worst of them all) she screamed that she was calling the police because my husband was a Pedophile (He's NEVER been alone with her sons... and in fact, he only gets violent about 3 things: people hurting his family, people hurting animals, and people hurting children.... He told me before when we saw a news story about some sicko that "if that ever happens with one of our future kids, I hope you will visit me in jail because I will GLADLY do 5 years for beating a pervert to a pulp!!") So screaming that she prays god makes me a barren cripple forever and that we are Pedophiles and Junkies at close to 4 in the morning... 2 days after I gave her almost 400 to help her pay her rent.....made no sense.

We BEGGED her to PLEASE call the police because we have nothing to hide, just lots of texts and emails from her sounding crazy.. I guess she couldn't get her teenager or 11 year old son to falsely accuse us of anything because no cops were called.

That is just 20 percent of it, but you catch my drift.

I have ONLY been in FEAR for my SAFETY a few times and in two of them, they were by EXTREME and UNHEALTHY Type Ones.

::Disclaimer:: Type Ones, I am NOT saying you are paranoid, insane, or ANYTHING like that AT ALL.. we have good and bad of every type, just like there are good and bad people in every group

However like I said, I have NEVER SEEN such DRAMATIC INSANITY (like following me around four states and finding out where I worked and lived although I was unlisted or being a nice, loving mother and friend in the morning than at night calling me and mine "satanic pedophile junkies" (we don't even drink.))

Is there -something- in a Type One THAT WHEN MIXED/PAIRED with a mental illness or chemical dependency (I suspect both of both people but I am CERTAIN the male was an alcoholic and the female is a pill popper but for "pain" I never see, not for a disorder we are certain is there) can make them Jekyll and Hyde like this?!? 

Has ANYBODY experienced an UNHEALTHY one (be it mentally, drugs, whatever) spiral so drastically and quickly?!? Or is this just some bizarre coincidence?!?

LASTLY, AGAIN, Type 1's, I am not implying or saying that your type has such tendencies.... I was just wondering if anyone of this type or close to someone that is a 1 but ALSO has mental or chemical problems has seen this manifest like this before or is it just a creepy coincidence?!?
1
Add a comment...
 
New blog post; hope it serves you! Would love to receive your comments/questions/perspectives.
  I’ve been a writer ever since I could hold a pencil. I’ve also been a movie lover since early childhood. More specifically, a lover of story. I used to make up stories about the people I saw...
2
Heath Davis Havlick's profile photo
 
Thanks, Tami! Hope your day is great.
Add a comment...
 
I have a Four female friend with a 13-year-old Seven daughter. Any ideas on how the mom can gently shepherd her child by using the wisdom of the Enneagram? She sees some negative Seven behaviors that she wants to know how to deal with.
1
1
Jeffrey Brown's profile photoHeath Davis Havlick's profile photoPaya Naderi's profile photo
3 comments
 
Thank you, +Jeffrey Brown ! I passed that on to my friend.
Add a comment...
 
Hello, New Here, Been into and studying the Enneagram for 15 years (I was writing a book on patterns but I was finding, but anyway..) I am a type four and I like that as I am reading other people's post, it has their name and type. How did they do that? Is there a special thing you have to do?? I was just curious....
1
Heath Davis Havlick's profile photoDinah Donovon's profile photo
6 comments
 
Thank you... That's what my seven spouse basically says. He is the first seven I have been REALLY close to. The last was YEARS ago a young twenty or so year old female seven that I saw as scatter brained and flakey. Then after dating mostly fives with a two and eight thrown in... I find a seven male holds the glass slipper (I am bisexual so I felt the need to make the distinction... Each gender differs under the same number). He is well rounded.... Eclectic... And calming. Most of the time. Lol
Add a comment...

Paul Tracy

Discussion  - 
 
I was just introduced to The Enneagram during an ICF conference. I'm thinking of using the system as a replacement for MBTI for individual coaching clients. Can anyone point me to validation studies and a cross-reference to Myers-Briggs?
1
1
Gib Wallis's profile photoDinah Donovon's profile photoDorthe Gyldenkærne's profile photo
6 comments
 
+Heath Davis Havlick I am a 4, INFJ!!
Add a comment...

Jeffrey Brown

Discussion  - 
 
Greetings, 5w6, So/Sx, 5-4-8, ENTP.  Married to a 8w7, Sp/Sx, 8-6-3, ISTJ. 
1
Jeffrey Brown's profile photoPamela Sprague's profile photo
3 comments
 
Jeff is the study group open to new members? I'm in LV and have been studying the enneagram for several years. 6w5,sx.
Add a comment...