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Andy Mort

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Do you find yourself unconsciously harbouring negative/rude encounters with other people and allowing it to impact your mood (and interactions with other people) for the rest of the day without realising?

I realised that even the smallest comment can stick with me for ages.

http://www.sheepdressedlikewolves.com/rude-people/
How can we respond to rude and obnoxious strangers? How might we cope with the negative feelings we experience as a result of encountering them?
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BibleStudy888's profile photoRandy G's profile photoDaniela TurboNeko's profile photo
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Randy G
 
I'm like that puppy dog, pet it's head, and happy as can be.
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Peter Messerschmidt

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People come to the idea that they are "Highly Sensitive" in many different ways. But what does that really MEAN? This web page/article is a fairly thorough exploration of different aspects of sensitivity... it has been built, adjusted and added to over a period of years. Not only a resource for HSPs, but also a place to send those who ask you "What IS this HSP thing?" Feel free to share it around-- the more people know about the trait, the easier life becomes for all of us!
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"Downer", or even "killjoy".
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ROBERT DONOVAN

Inpirational Quotes  - 
 
"...they can't take it from me if they tried, I lived through those early days.... so many times I had to change the pain to laughter, just to keep from getting crazy."

http://youtu.be/QvBVIA_ZaNg
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Randy G
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Paul must be a very strong person to have made it from those early day's, to the iconic man he it today. When I think of paul & the Beatles, john will come to mind and his tragic end, a reminder of the sad world we live in.
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Andy Mort

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What recharges your social batteries?
When it's not just physical; it's your emotional, mental, and social energy that take a hit. How do you re-charge your batteries when they're depleted?
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Love it! :-)
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Andy Mort

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Morning guys! In November I did my first TEDx talk/music performance over in Cyprus. I spoke about how we can all become artists when we listen, observe and notice.

Thought you might be interested as I realise it has come directly from what are the gifts of highly sensitive people and thus why so many of us can't help but respond to the world with creativity and imagination.
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Bill Phelps's profile photoMelene McAlmont's profile photo
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Sorry I'm late with a reply to this -- I just watched it and it made me want to take up the guitar again.  I notice things and sometimes I get sick of talking or writing or drawing about them and I'd like to do something with it in a different way.  I want to, I don't know, sing badly (not that you do) and get those callouses on my fingers again.  
Anyway, I liked your message and envied your musicality.
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I've started a community for those of you interested in sensitivity and career paths. You are very welcome to join if you'd like to contribute or be inspired:-) 
The Highly Sensitive Person at Work
Finding the right vocational path when you're an HSP
View community
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Marie Ørum Schwennesen's profile photoMia Mantri's profile photo
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Do you look at the difficulties people may have in work as well?  I've never been in work because I struggle and a lot of employers are unsupportive.  Luckily my parents help me out but a lot of people in my position don't have that.
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Riya Sawant

Diskussion  - 
 
True, I am an HSP. But I do not feel like accepting this because I do not want to victimise myself. Also, people did live just fine before high sensitivity was even a term, didn't they?

I just don't want to make myself stand out because of being highly sensitive. I don't quite understand this. 
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Riya Sawant's profile photo
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Thank you for taking the time to write, +Caroline G​. I will try using 'attuned' instead of 'sensitive' and see if my own mind stops bullying me.
Regards,
Riya :)
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Andy Mort

Blog Posts  - 
 
Following on from +Tyler Fleming's interesting question on Jan 2nd, I thought it might be helpful to share a post I published this week about our relationship with the word 'sensitive'....

It can be hard to talk about the idea of sensitivity.

The word ‘sensitive’ has so many connotations and conjure different mental pictures for everyone, many times negative. We often unconsciously associate it with being ‘too emotional’, having ‘thin skin’ or needing to ‘man up’.

These are the cultural constructs that surround sensitivity and so when we think about the idea of high processing sensitivity or ‘highly sensitive people’ we jump straight to the view that sensitivity equates to weakness or a naivety/lack of self-control/inability to cope with reality.

But with a temperament that accounts for 20% of the population, including both introverts and extraverts, we need to grapple with and de-bunk some of the myths and negative connotations surrounding what it means to be ‘sensitive’.

http://www.sheepdressedlikewolves.com/talk-about-sensitivity/
We often associate the word sensitivity with being 'too emotional', having 'thin skin' or needing to 'man up'. This really needs to change.
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Tyler Fleming's profile photo
 
Thank you, Andy.  I enjoyed reading your post.  It's been so helpful to learn more about this processing type.  I think examining the way it's labeled and perceived is definitely worthwhile.  
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My co-blogger just shared these reflections - can anyone relate?
Elisabeth Svanholmer originally shared:
 
My dear co-blogger has some reflections on the difficulties of interacting with professionals as an HSP. I often feel like I have to do a lot of explaining and justifying when I interact health professionals because some of them seem to prefer to think they know better than me what I need...
I've come to understand that a huge part of my overall happiness and satisfaction is derived from feeling understood and appreciated by others.
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It would be amazing if we had more choice when it comes to care and health professionals. But I guess the ones who are able to listen would get very very busy then. But popular demand might change the professions from within then.... Who knows...
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Caroline G

Diskussion  - 
 
I've been searching a number of HSP-related websites, including this global forum, and I can't seem to find any discussions generated by Dr. Aron's latest blog, "Let the Market Decide–and You, the “Consumer,” Be Well-informed," found at http://hsperson.com/let-the-market-decide/#comments.

More specifically, I am wanting to discuss this part: "...a highly sensitive person should evidence all four characteristics: depth of processing, being easily overstimulated, emotionality that includes a high level of empathy, and being sensitive to subtle stimuli. In particular there are several disorders in which being easily overstimulated is common. But without the other three, it is by definition and by research not the innate trait we are talking about."

I struggle with self-identified HSPs that have demonstrated a lack of emotionality especially empathy and compassion for others.  My understanding of the innate high sensitivity trait, by Aron's research,  is that if emotionality, along with depth of processing, and being sensitive to subtle stimuli are the "hallmarks" of this trait, then by definition, these self-identified HSPs are not HSPs then.  I am aversive to them, in fact, when they speak of "not caring" about other people's feelings, and when they can speak frankly about their opinions about others (making judgments).  Does this sound like a highly sensitive person? I am deeply affected when I encounter such people out in society, more so, within the HSP community.  

How can I rise above this aversion and embrace HSPs that lack empathy, compassion, and regard for others?  I am really struggling with this. Please shed some light here as I'm desperately seeking some wisdom. Thank you.
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Tyler Fleming's profile photoCaroline G's profile photo
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Hi Tyler,

Immediately after writing this post, I sought the expertise of a couple of professionals, one of whom is highly sensitive.  By gaining more understanding of the sensitive trait and how it specifically differs from various disorders, I've been able to embrace each and every member of our HSP meetup group.  Rather than battle with our stark differences and endlessly ponder the "whys", I treat them as I would with any other person outside our group--with respect, acceptance, and compassion.  This has allowed me to enjoy the company of those I do share like mindedness with, and appreciate those that are distinctly different.

Seeking clarifications about the trait enabled me to re-frame my mind, and what a difference it has been for me!  Thank you for your comment, Tyler :-)
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Randy G

Diskussion  - 
 
Hi, Late last night, I was at a local park in my car, doing my google plus thing(ever do that?), when two homeless people, a young guy & girl approached my car, asking if they could sit in my car because they were cold.
I was startled by the request, I said I couldn't do that, and that I was leaving soon anyway. Later, I kept thinking about it and felt so bad for them, wishing I had handled it differently. The girl was the same age as my own daughter, the verse " except by the grace of God go I", is what I kept thinking. Question, would you have let them in your car?
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Myriam Strigl's profile photoPeter Messerschmidt's profile photo
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It makes me sad to my soul that we live in a world where kindness is something more likely to be exploited than appreciated. 
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Riya Sawant

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Joshua Walters: On being just crazy enough #TED : http://on.ted.com/g0mNC
At TED's Full Spectrum Auditions, comedian Joshua Walters, who's bipolar, walks the line between mental illness and mental "skillness." In this funny, thought-provoking talk, he asks: What's the right balance between medicating craziness away and riding the manic edge of creativity and drive?
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BibleStudy888's profile photo
 
I am downloading to watch later. Looks like something I may be able to relate to as food does strange things to me if I am not careful. :-)
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Bill Phelps
moderator

Diskussion  - 
 
Recently I have had an wonderful and fascinating experience. I started painting in December, and discovered a latent talent. When I was younger I was not able to draw or paint very well at all. I believe that as I have grown and become more comfortable with my highly sensitive traits, that I have learned to be able to use the extra detail and depth that I perceive to be able to produce works of art. I think I have also learned to trust my intuitions more, which seems to be an important part of the creative process.
Has anyone else discovered hidden talents within themselves that may have come out due to learning to develop and use your sensitivity rather than being overwhelmed by it? 
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Ladybug Spring's profile photoRandy G's profile photo
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Randy G
 
Hi, Im new to this community, yesterday someone on a post hurt my feelings(again, not here), so I googled "over sensitive on google plus", and here I am. Last father's day my daughter gave me this s ph, so I wouldn't be so isolated, I left a comment on a utube clip, and someone c back, I was hooked. Unfortunately about once a day, I'll get a mean spirited comment aimed at me, and I'll swear never again. Ultimately ill just block that people, and try to find nice interesting post & people to interact with.
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Riya Sawant

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Sharing because this is beautiful.
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Lindy Madsen's profile photoRiya Sawant's profile photoJeffrey Boss's profile photo
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Okay
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LA sunshine

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today I was thinking about love...
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Caroline G

Blog Posts  - 
 
No one wants to hear about TRAUMA. We may "rank" ourselves as being "better" listeners than non-HSPs, but when it comes to listening to traumatic stories, the attention quickly divides, and senses are shielded for fear of feeling the pain and/or ickiness. I usually don't call the elephant out in a room, but I am now (and my stomach is churning as I'm typing.) I have never meditated, engaged in any mindfulness practices, nor have I even tried yoga for the purpose of healing from my trauma. Frankly, I resisted these because I felt that such methods would have only provided me a TEMPORARY reprieve from the painful truths that were embedded deep in my mind, body & spirit. I knew that only a form of psychotherapy could get repressed memories stirred and every aspect of each traumatic event associated,  resulting in re-living the pain and horror over & over. No wonder no wants to go back THAT FAR in life? But for me, my journey to healing began only after I did all that work with a clinical counsellor, who happened to be highly sensitive as well (I truly believed fate brought me to her).  Anyway, I don't have any questions to ask here, but I will conclude by saying that when I have completely healed from my traumas, only then will I practice meditation and mindfulness to help secure my power and worthiness throughout the remainder of my life.
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Miriam Gordon's profile photoCaroline G's profile photo
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I just wanted to follow up here to say that I will be attending my first Mindfulness Meditation workshop in two days. It will be facilitated by a member from our HSP Meetup group. I am looking forward to it :-)
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What are your thoughts on any downside of the word "sensitive" in the label for our trait?  I read Dr. Aron's book as a means of self-help, which in many cases includes reframing.  With that in mind, I've been thinking of myself as a highly empathic person, as a way of looking at the strengths provided by my acute awareness of stimuli.  

Summarily, I can take a hint, when it's quite subtle or even unknown by the sender.  You too?  That strikes me as a good starting point from which to at least build this trait into a strength.  

Disclaimer: I realize that there's also a supernatural context for "empathic", with which I don't intend to align myself.  I hung up my Superman cape long ago (although the thought of an icy Fortress of Solitude remains appealing).  
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文天手's profile photoAndy Mort's profile photo
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The word 'sensitive' has many negative connotations in our society. It is often linked with the notion of emotional weakness/thin skin/needing to 'man up' etc. But I think it's such an accurate word to use when describing deep sensory processing that I definitely persist with it.

I actually wrote about this on my blog earlier this week, noting Elaine Aron's take on some of the different sensitivities beneath the umbrella of HSP, which I found very interesting.

http://www.sheepdressedlikewolves.com/talk-about-sensitivity/
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