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Michelle Lynn

Related stuff  - 
 
Thank you for accepting me into the group!  I am an HSP and an INFJ.  Reading Elaine Aron's work really inspired me.  A lot of things just make sense to me now, and I'm learning to celebrate who I am.  I recently started doing a segment on a podcast sharing my experiences as an HSP.  It's not for money or anything like that.  It's just to help other people that are HSP's hear someone talk about what it's like.  I'll share the link to it here.   Only if people are interested.www.facebook.com/hspsos
http://thecaptainspod.libsyn.com/hsp-sos-1-food-sensitivities-part-1
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Miriam Gordon's profile photoKristie Rikke's profile photo
3 comments
 
Would love to check it out. Get to it in a week or two. WELCOME!
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I am not only an HSP, I am also an adult with ADHD... as part of trying to navigate life as smoothly as possible, I find it essential to understand where "being an HSP" ENDS and where "something else" begins. Regardless of what "conditions" you may be wrestling with as an HSP, it pays to know what's what so we can seek an appropriate course of action.
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Michelle Lynn's profile photoLindy Madsen's profile photo
7 comments
 
+Michelle Lynn I don't disagree on that. :-) I'm just always careful about comparing diagnosis with our trait.
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Andy Mort

Blog Posts  - 
 
Do you find small talk with new people an exhausting challenge? The time spent skating on the surface, jumping between topics, without time to think or fully engage in conversation.

And yet, if it leads to a deeper discussion you can keep going for hours without tiring in the same way.

If this is you then you're not alone. Not only that, but it appears to be a positive trait to have.

http://www.sheepdressedlikewolves.com/meaningful-conversation/
What benefits can making time for deeper and more meaningful conversations have on our wellbeing? According to researchers they may be a key to happiness.
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BibleStudy888's profile photoRandy G's profile photo
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Randy G
 
Andy, I've always been somewhat a loner, perhaps by choice now, but because I was isolated in my youth. To answer your question, I'll consume any conversation I can engage, deeper is more desirable for sure.
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The Fine art of Detachment exposes ways to accept that what is, also when it's a sidepath, a stepping rock to came to be a better variation of ourself. View the video clip ...
http://goo.gl/8s13Wv
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Jean-Paul Blommaert's profile photoCarroll Straus's profile photo
8 comments
 
OK-- lost first post. No, I did not watch the video. I started to and stopped. Too slow and not likely to appeal to me. I have been on my journey since that guy was in diapers. In maybe 2010 I began to realize how mch of me was not "defective" but HSP. Advcie from non HSPs had been the bane of my existence for my whole life. (Dont be so idealistic." "You mythologize" (meant as a put down by my sister, as always.) Don't be so analytical". Yet I knew, inside, that these things could not be changed--t6hey were who I was and am.

That said, like Peter, I opted for self employment LONG before I knew why. I knew I wanted.NEEDED, to follow MY values, not those of someone whose values did not match mine at all. This still true-only now I know why my values don't fit the "majority."

No one said it was easy... but it is who I am and will always be. An HSP attorney-- and an INFJ. My niche is TINY. Naturally. so is my income--so far. (Especially given the traumas I lived through when the economy collapsed.) But is is my fate, if you will, to keep growing, MY way, to MY highest level of growth and attainment, much of which will NEVER be monetary.

It's not possible to see the end at the beginning--and every day is a beginning--but I have 60+ years of path to show me the arc. The rest is faith and determination.
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Andy Mort

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Do you find yourself unconsciously harbouring negative/rude encounters with other people and allowing it to impact your mood (and interactions with other people) for the rest of the day without realising?

I realised that even the smallest comment can stick with me for ages.

http://www.sheepdressedlikewolves.com/rude-people/
How can we respond to rude and obnoxious strangers? How might we cope with the negative feelings we experience as a result of encountering them?
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BibleStudy888's profile photoRandy G's profile photoDaniela TurboNeko's profile photo
5 comments
Randy G
 
I'm like that puppy dog, pet it's head, and happy as can be.
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Caroline G

Diskussion  - 
 
I've been searching a number of HSP-related websites, including this global forum, and I can't seem to find any discussions generated by Dr. Aron's latest blog, "Let the Market Decide–and You, the “Consumer,” Be Well-informed," found at http://hsperson.com/let-the-market-decide/#comments.

More specifically, I am wanting to discuss this part: "...a highly sensitive person should evidence all four characteristics: depth of processing, being easily overstimulated, emotionality that includes a high level of empathy, and being sensitive to subtle stimuli. In particular there are several disorders in which being easily overstimulated is common. But without the other three, it is by definition and by research not the innate trait we are talking about."

I struggle with self-identified HSPs that have demonstrated a lack of emotionality especially empathy and compassion for others.  My understanding of the innate high sensitivity trait, by Aron's research,  is that if emotionality, along with depth of processing, and being sensitive to subtle stimuli are the "hallmarks" of this trait, then by definition, these self-identified HSPs are not HSPs then.  I am aversive to them, in fact, when they speak of "not caring" about other people's feelings, and when they can speak frankly about their opinions about others (making judgments).  Does this sound like a highly sensitive person? I am deeply affected when I encounter such people out in society, more so, within the HSP community.  

How can I rise above this aversion and embrace HSPs that lack empathy, compassion, and regard for others?  I am really struggling with this. Please shed some light here as I'm desperately seeking some wisdom. Thank you.
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Caroline G's profile photoRichard Hebel's profile photo
9 comments
 
Caroline, I suspect most HSPs more than a few years old show various (and various levels) of psychopathological traits developed as adaptive responses to their being an HSP, and these traits tend to complicate easy characterization of these people as HSPs.
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Randy G

Diskussion  - 
 
Hi, Late last night, I was at a local park in my car, doing my google plus thing(ever do that?), when two homeless people, a young guy & girl approached my car, asking if they could sit in my car because they were cold.
I was startled by the request, I said I couldn't do that, and that I was leaving soon anyway. Later, I kept thinking about it and felt so bad for them, wishing I had handled it differently. The girl was the same age as my own daughter, the verse " except by the grace of God go I", is what I kept thinking. Question, would you have let them in your car?
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Myriam Strigl's profile photoPeter Messerschmidt's profile photo
6 comments
 
It makes me sad to my soul that we live in a world where kindness is something more likely to be exploited than appreciated. 
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Keeping in mind that not all HSPs are the same... one of the things we often share is a tendency to define things like "Success," "Ambition" and "Achievement" through a different and typically more idealistic (and "personal") lens of perception than most of the world. This blog post is a somewhat personal exploration of these concepts... but it's also intended as a potential template (or encouragement) for "thinking more deeply" about the meanings and values we assign to these words... what do YOU think? How do YOU think about "Achievement" and "Success?"
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Kristie Rikke's profile photoMiriam Gordon's profile photo
4 comments
 
I think these terms mean very different things in the HSP and non-HSP worlds. HSPs usually have to blaze their own trails because they just don't fit into the non-HSP world. I think success and achievement for HSPs has to do with the extent to which we work toward creating a work environment that works for us. This is a step that many non-HSPs don't take, because they fit well enough into the non-HSP work environments and therefore don't have to make the effort. They may even hate their jobs, but this wouldn't bother a non-HSP nearly as much as an HSP. It's very difficult to be a pioneer. If an HSP understands who he/she is and how he/she works, thinks, feels and negotiates the world and continues to work toward the right balance of financial stability and personal satisfaction in their work, that in itself is a huge accomplishment. 
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As HSPs, do we tend to "take responsibility" for things (especially "bad" things) that are not really ours to own? Perhaps they were fully someone else's doing... and yet, we take them on? Do we become "sorry" for things we didn't do? Some musings from my blog, this morning...
In our hallway, we have a couple of whiteboards that serve as the "Information and Nerve Center" of the household. Aside from calendars and upcoming events, we also use the space for mind mapping and developing creative ventu...
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Daniela TurboNeko's profile photo
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Travel and spending a few days in a different place can offer a nice way to "break state" with the familiar... but at the same time, the "process" of traveling can also be very overstimulating for HSPs.
I am not home, at the moment. I am typing these words from the funky living room of a small bungalow in Joshua Tree, California. It has been a while since I last traveled-- almost precisely two years. This morning, I was havi...
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Jeanne Hart's profile photoBibleStudy888's profile photoLight Bliss You!'s profile photo
2 comments
 
I too love Joshua Tree. Been there numerous times. Funky, calming and intriguing. :-) 
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Andy Mort

Blog Posts  - 
 
Do you have loads of interests, ideas and paths that you really want to explore? Do you, like me, get distracted by other things when you have committed to focus on something else?

This is a massive thing for many of us introverts and highly sensitive people.

We’re often by nature big daydreamers and allow our thoughts to veer off in all sorts of directions. I don’t know about you but it’s rare that I go a day without thinking of another idea that I’d like to explore.

http://www.sheepdressedlikewolves.com/118/
Do you have loads of interests, ideas and paths that you really want to explore? This is a massive thing for many of us introverts and HSPs.
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Peter Messerschmidt's profile photoCaroline G's profile photo
13 comments
 
Hi Andy, this is my life's number ONE challenge as an extraverted HAP (highly attuned)  and HSS.  I have a love/hate relationship with my ability to be creative and distracted at the same time.

To add to what others have shared on this post:  I scribble my ideas down onto paper the size of that found inside a fortune cookie.  For me, the more writing space available, the further away I get from my initial idea. To rectify this problem, I journal; hence, my fetish for stationery :-) It may sound constricting but it has enabled me to stay focused.

Also,  I share my ideas when I get the opportunity.  I seek to network with people who are equipped with the financial resources, entrepreneurial spirit,  and leadership.  Then I literally throw my idea(s) and with my fingers crossed, hope they'd run with it, and bring it to full fruition.  (So far two of my bigger ideas materialized; both are now social enterprises :-)

You mentioned that you have an idea (or more) that you keep to yourself because it is only useful to you.  Hmmm...I've been ruffling through my box and slightly perturbed that I haven't found one that appeases me--so far all my ideas are for the betterment of others (and I mean this in an empathetic and compassionate way.)  This explains why I'm in the helping profession-to enrich other people's lives; neither my mind nor my hands won't stop thinking or fixing, respectively.   

Of course, the downside to this is that I neglect myself.  The only time I stop thinking creatively is when I'm mentally and emotionally drained. If it weren't for my support network,  I wouldn't be able to continue with my creatively thinking streak. Yes, it's challenging; but it brings me so much joy and passion! 
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Riya Sawant

Diskussion  - 
 
Hello everybody,

I have been in this community for quite some time now and i really look forward to posts here.

However, I seldom see posts about how HSPs get attached to people around them. I have teachers who have shown me concern and I, in turn, care a lot about them. I end up being uncomfortable with them around because i keep thinking that i must repay their kindness somehow.

I have finally been able to word my thoughts clearly after a lot of tries.

Have you been through a similar experience? 
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Riya Sawant's profile photo
4 comments
 
Thank you +Lindy Madsen​, I like how you dealt with it. Paying kindness forward seems to be a very good way. :D
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My co-blogger just shared these reflections - can anyone relate?
Elisabeth Svanholmer originally shared:
 
My dear co-blogger has some reflections on the difficulties of interacting with professionals as an HSP. I often feel like I have to do a lot of explaining and justifying when I interact health professionals because some of them seem to prefer to think they know better than me what I need...
I've come to understand that a huge part of my overall happiness and satisfaction is derived from feeling understood and appreciated by others.
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Elisabeth Svanholmer's profile photo
3 comments
 
It would be amazing if we had more choice when it comes to care and health professionals. But I guess the ones who are able to listen would get very very busy then. But popular demand might change the professions from within then.... Who knows...
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Peter Messerschmidt

Sharing Articles  - 
 
People come to the idea that they are "Highly Sensitive" in many different ways. But what does that really MEAN? This web page/article is a fairly thorough exploration of different aspects of sensitivity... it has been built, adjusted and added to over a period of years. Not only a resource for HSPs, but also a place to send those who ask you "What IS this HSP thing?" Feel free to share it around-- the more people know about the trait, the easier life becomes for all of us!
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Sari Karlsson's profile photoRiya Sawant's profile photo
4 comments
 
"Downer", or even "killjoy".
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