When I heard that my little boy fell off a horse my heart was so scared, it really is very scary because my little boys are my life. I wanna fly back home right then and there, of course I cannot. I just arrived few weeks ago for my annual vacation. This is one of the disadvantage when you work overseas, anything happens at home, you are helpless but to endure your longing. What a reality.

Feeling sad, very sad.

Am a bit annoyed, do you know why?  This is my third composition and my keyboard kept deleting them. 

Hello guys!  How are you doing out there? I am hoping that everything is alright around you and your family is happy and good.  Well,  hearing the news around the globe is so disturbing.  Honestly, I am so alone right now and that I have nobody to talk to.  Usually, when I am alone and I have loads of things  inside my mind, I used to write them but with the access to the world through internet, at least I can share what is on my mind and burden you people to read it.  

I love argument but it happen that I cannot argue the people around me because my line of thinking is so different from them.  I have one person, whom I used to talk to but we are so far away to each other and it is impossible to have him all the time listening to me when the distance is so far.  

News, if you turn on your television, from one channel to another what you see are crimes, in different forms from one country to another.  As always, scary and deadly news, suffering, in different forms, from one country to another, there is light news that will make you smile a bit but most of the news are all disturbance and alarming.  They are so heavy for my eyes to see and I don't understand where the conflict starts and when it will end.  People with power soars high and always get what they wants using all the way there is for them to achieve whatever they wanted to have while, people below are struggling to at least have a share of that power and the most horrible truth is that people, penniless people, who have nothing stays wherever they are in the community and always the abused one.  

People who are nothing in the society stays on the ground, there are some who have connections, who made these people on the ground their toy and just used them for their benefit and don't even give a damn about them.  People with power uses all their connections to get more wealth and power. 

A reality that everybody knows and until now it is like that and it even became worst.  

Will there be a day, a month, a year to at least feel that there is a change on how this world is really working.  I mean at least a day where everybody is happy and safe wherever they are.   People will not hesitate to help whoever is in need and will try to make those sad people at least wear a smile.  A world where everybody will take responsibility of everybody in every way there is.  Maybe if that happens, there will be no rebellion, no sufferings, no poverty and by then, I can say that it is so nice to live.  How can people with power, sleep at night, seeing the world tumbles down before them.  Can we call them a good leader when people around them are crying, are dying, and are suffocated with the system?  I am just nobody but my dream is to live in a peaceful community next to the people whom I love the most, sharing my laughter with them, sharing every single day with them full of happiness and contentment.  Praying that poverty can be cured soon for me to come home to my family, to share every minute of my life with them, to see every faces of my family every morning and share the fruit of this world with them, go to the church with my community, and live a life with no worries what awaits for tomorrow, feeling so secured with everybody.   

A wish that I even don't know it if become a realization.  Some people said that what is written in the bible are now occuring, and I think they are right.  Are these signs are really the signs of the end of the world?
Killing is here and there, dying is here and everywhere, parents kill their children and children kill their parents, siblings to siblings, people are greedy of power and wealth, nation are fighting against nation, and leaders are showing off their power by pressing those small nations down to the ground while nation with power fights to overpower and win the power.  Who can end this? Is it just God  who can mend this?  Is there a chance that people with power bring their resources together to bring back peace and unity?  Are people who kill people really lost their humanity and just let evil to rule them?   Can everybody stop from being busy. sit down for awhile, close your eyes and ask yourself,  Is this the kind of world that I wanna show to the next generation?  Is this the kind of life I want to pass on to my children?  Is this the kind of trouble and worrisome world is the kind of world that I wanna share to the person that I love the most?  Is this kind of place is what I like the most to share with everybody?  What am I doing with my life?  This life is a gift from up above, should I really waste this or shall I make this life productive in obtaining peace and prosperity....... 

Well I think, my brain works so well tonight that I see the whole picture of the world that we live in... I am so sorry guys but these things that I share to you is just a product of being alone.   Hope I did not offend anybody....  I am now going to sleep and I am  just praying that tomorrow will be a new day for all of us.... goodnight everyone.

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Hi guys......good afternoon........ I am home early and so I have all the time to explore the world of internet.  Nothing is so special nowadays except for a fact that I am strong and healthy.   I need something to keep me going and yet I couldn't do it.  A bit blue today.... I am just hoping that tomorrow will be a brand new day with something exciting.  To cut it short I am sad today.

Thank you Ghj Hyyu for becoming a member in this community of mine, it would be much appreciated if you dare to share your life story, whichever chapter would that be, it is fine.  I dare you.... this community would love to hear anything from you...........

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When I was young I used to look up at the blue clear sky whenever I hear a plane passing by, wondering how they fly up in the sky, and where they are heading to.  Some of them were seen small and some of them were seen a bit big.  Ahh…. , yeah I remembered I told myself, one day I wanna see a real plane.  
Our house was nested next to a stream and I remember that during rainy season, the water turn from white to light blue, not just that, we were next to the mountains, since we were so far from the town that our mode of transportation back then were  just horses and carabaos or buffalos. I used  to climbed a coffee and coconut  and any other fruit bearing trees. There was no electricity, neither television nor Cassette and what we’ve got was just a battery operated am-fm radio.  Though we live lived next to the mountains, we never live a hard life for my father was a good provider.  Our parents sent us to school for they said a life without education would be hard. Elementary life passes-by and high school came in.  A bit hard for this time, me and my sister, needs to walk a seven kilometer footpath to our boardinghouse week after week until we graduated high school. This hardships and struggles were the reason why I told myself to work so hard to get into college and earn a degree but my father died right after I graduated high school and so  I have to stop and wait when my mother can send to college.  Frustrated, after a year, I decided to run as a youth  leader for the reason that as elected one, I would be granted a free tuition fees to a government school, of course, the more it was harder since I have to come to the village every weekend to plan for any activities and projects for the youth and I need to maintain my school grades as well, but with God’s help I survived until I earned my degree, but hard life did not just stops there, I jumped from one job   to another due to low salary grade  until I decided to go abroad telling myself that with that at least I can earn a bigger salary.
Luckily, I was able to fly abroad with the help of some generous people, but it was another frustration for the salary was not that good and  that the workload was too much to bear,  I landed to a housemaid job abroad.  The moment I enter the plane, I right away said, “Oh, so this is what an airplane looks like”.  It was so big with a crowd in it. Months passes by and I got sick due to a work overload at young age and then reality struck  that life living alone is scary and I decided to really get married the soonest right after my contract ends, of which I really did. I went back home, got married  to a farmer and have kids.  Locally, I found a job in a minimum wage rate. At first, it was fine  for I could financially met our daily needs.  There was no extra income and no savings, and life seems fine with a very loving and thoughtful husband. But contentment lasted only for three years after marriage. There was an emergency that needed a couple of bills and we had no savings at all, an awakening moment, a wake -up call. Right then and there I decided to go back abroad and again God is so good that I landed to a better job with a better salary. It was not that easy because what’s killing me was homesickness to my beautiful children. I said, okay fine I will save more and fast to go home for good to be the kids, it was so easy planning many good things but so hard to materialized. A year become years and still I am struggling, the only good thing is that I became wise in saving and investing on something.  With pride I can say now that partly  I succeeded  for at least in five years’ time I was able to pay all my debts and invested something for my children’s’ future.  I am very much willing to work much longer abroad to make sure that their future will be secured.  I am just praying that I am doing the right job of securing their future.
Lately, my 6 year old little boy stops from going to school for no reason….. What a life.  Expectedly, I am so shocked and angry.
Confusion …. Confusion….. Should I continue working abroad when my little boy needs me by his side for guidance….. What do you think should I do?  Should I come home and do my motherly obligation to him or let it slide and think that maybe soon my little angel will realize it by himself that education is a must-have in this life….. OH NO !!!!!!!! What should I do? Who can help?
 
 
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