I think that someday I am doing great then out of the blue Not lol one day at a time

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I am a mother who had children at a young age. I woke up to my apartment on fire and the first thing I seen was my1 month old son's body was black like ash. I still see it sometimes and wake up crying. I lost one son that day my friend who is now dead due to a overdose took my other son outside I wanted to try to get my sons body out of the apartment it was to late I couldn't it was to hot and the smoke was making me want to lay back down and give up then I heard my angle yelling mommy so I got to the back door the hole front was in flames. I pushed and pushed and I got onto the roof. And jumped off to get to him. I have struggled with drinking and drugs and depression someday I can't get out of bed others I can't sleep I cope one day at a time I would rather help someone else then myself Untill now I will work on myself everyday. I will find my way in life I am blessed. To still be alive I will fight for my beliefs and for people who can't fight for themself I gave up at one point. I no who I am I no what I have done and not done I love myself. Just remember your not alone even if u feel u are tomorrows a new day.
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