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My first short story; Plz review it:

RAPPROCHER_filling the GAP


Characters:

Kiyara jha (21) GF
Aaryan Kulkarni (21) BF
Riti noor (23)
Rahil Detroja (Brother) (22)
Xiti Detroja ( sister) (22)
Anup Ramani (22)

Car: Duster


Lots of paper work is done, Everybody has given as per there Ability,Confusion is increasing…Everybody is eager to know the final decision.….& finally Tender passed through Government of India submitted by Journey pvt. ltd.….& after lots of discussion of design and Material Work is started. I am getting Ready by the Experts of Journey Pvt. Ltd. They prepared me really strong & smooth…Jaise ki Makkhan. I was named as NATIONAL HIGHWAY NUMBER: 08

According to estimates, I am the busiest highway in the subcontinent, as I connects the national capital DELHI to the financial capital MUMBAI. The total length is 1428km. I have seen stories of lots of Transporters , families, bunch of friends, group of elders etc..etc..etc..passing by me; but this one touched me….!!!
I don’t know from where they came & at which destination they want to reach..!!
Why they were across this road??



Kar berangi shaamein huddangi mast malangi yaara
apni toh yaari atrangi hai re
Atrangi re oo.. hey!
Wo o.. hey
Wo o.. hey

Kiyara: Aryan wt time is it?
Aryan: It’s 10 only
Xiti: I am tired yar…!!
Rahil: Tera roj ka natak he…aj to nyt journey hogi & thatz Final
Anup: Yeah dude…Let’s check out some haunted Places
Riti: Not at all…are you guys crazy?? This is National highway & nobody will be there to help us if we found some trouble.
Rahil: Dude…MAALL place mili he; 250 year old haunted bridge he…kiyu right turn le…
Riti: No kiyu…no
Kiyu are u out of your mind or what?? Stop it.
Aryan: are ku6 ni hogan riti chal na..will have a fun.
Rahil: Kiyu take left..Quick Yeaaaa… here it is!! so Everybody it’s time to show ur bravery..Let’s get down.
Kiyara: listen…everybody just keep your cellphones with you.
Anup: a66i Khasi fat rahi he…but let’s go, jo hoga dekh ledge..!!
Rahil: o kumbhkaran uth ja…we are going.
Xiti: Yar what the hell is going on…am not coming, tum log ja k auo; My sleep is more important.
Riti: M also not coming.
Rahil: You both are coming..Just get up.


& THEY STEP DOWN AT 11 TO HAVE AN ADVENTURE…!!

I guess they were way more connected to each other; there chemistry & friendship was so deep routed..!!
They seems too used to with each other..!!
I hope they can reach their Destination SAFELY.

The wind blew towards them as they stepped out of the car. Riti, scared but while stepping out felt a change in the behovior of her friends. She felt some mixed vibes, but went on with the flow of the enthusiasm of her friends, ignoring her intuitions towards the place.

Xiti: It’s too dark yar…let’s go back.
Aryan: FATTUU…HAHAHHA
kiyara: wow….it’s so Beautiful yar…!!
Riti: All beautiful things are not good…Remember it’s a fake pleasure..!
Rahil: Shut up guys…Just listen the harmony of waves…!
So pleasant Twireels..!!
Kiyara: This silence is so peaceful…waves are blue and breezy..!!

You never really know what's coming. A small wave, or maybe a big one. All you can really do is hope that when it comes, you can surf over it, instead of drown in its monstrosity.

Aryan: let’s sit at the middle of this bridge for few minutes..!! This is Mesmerizing view..!!
Anup: yeah..Great Idea!
Kiyara: yar I want to go that side of bridge…it excites me & however I didn't find anything haunted here..!! Babu please let’s go na…!!
Aryan: Okiee…hum dono jate he then u guys come soon.
Riti: after Reaching please call & if there is something not usual then please come back.
Kiyara: don’t worry, chill



Rahil: It’s long tym..they didn’t call back.
Riti: Let me try:

Ring…Ring..Ring..!!

Riti: kiyu…yar call kyu ni kiya?
Kiyara: Are m trying kab se….but you were out of reach. ohk..leave it, this side it’s so pretty u people just come fast.
Riti: yeah we are coming.

( What if this place have one way connection only...!! )

Anup: Let’s go peep.
Xiti: i just want to stay here..it’s so beautiful
Rahil: o Nautanki chal na

& they all step out of the bridge at another side…!!
They noticed something different in the surroundings of the place; flowers were black in color & rectangle in shape.
Place was just a dusty desk but it feels like cool water is touching the feet.
View was heartthrob.!!
Sooo Pleasant it was..extreme Peaceful...!!

but wait...All of sudden what happened??
Something was weird about this place...vibes were so different..! They can see everybody, They can feel everybody but...they realize they can't touch each other or they must lost their touching sense..!!
Now that heartthrob view was converted into some scary scenes...!

They can clearly listen their fast beating heartbeats..!
All though that cool breeze is now turned sweaty all over the body..!
Looking into each other's eyes they agreed to rush..!!

With such scary heart they just rushed towards the bridge & they found the board..!

LAND OF SOULS_leaving the body!!

& the world never find their faces again..!!
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