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Rachell Gautz

Cry it Out  - 
 
We are on Week Two of CIO with our 10-month-old. The situation has improved somewhat (thanks, +Rebecca Trump, for your suggestions), but there is still 20-30 minutes of howling every night, with waking every 2-3 hours thereafter. I've moved nursing to before bath so that there's about 30 minutes between that and bed. Bedtime is 7:30. However, I've noticed that the crying is shorter the closer it is to 8; for example, last night I put him to bed at 7:45, and he only cried for 10 minutes. But he wakes up at 6:30 so 8 seems late for bedtime...

I do nurse him back to sleep when he wakes up through the night. I didn't want to deal with night weaning until the CIO took, but maybe I have to? 
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Rachell Gautz's profile photoRebecca Trump's profile photo
5 comments
 
I'd perhaps try 3/3.5/4.5. It's hard to say whether that first nursing is reinforcing his need to suck to sleep in the MOTN (which I suspect it is) and/or if overtiredness is playing a role in the wakings.
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Nicole S Kelly

Discussion  - 
 
Well, bedtime is consistent now between 7:30-8:15 but approaching 5.5 month old Erik is still pretty inconsistent in every other way. Trying to get the information on if we have enough signs to make the move to the crib and just what to do about his overnight sleep, it would make life a little easier if we could.

We transitioned out of the swaddle into a roomy zipadee zip (I tried swaddling for a bottle one day and he got so bad fighting it he spit up all over the place. Message received!) His sleep is the same, inconsistent confusion since.

Sometimes he sleeps 1 hour after bedtime then eats, sometimes 3. This is never our longest sleep period and he is very distracted eating during the day (despite taking his supplement in the swing, darkened room with white noise), so I don't find it totally unreasonable that he needs to eat again. After this, total crapshoot. He might only sleep 1 hour between wakings, sometimes 2 hours, probably most regularly it's about 3 hours. On the days with 3+ wakings after bed, the longest sleep period is always the last one before getting up for the day. The past two days were the more rare but lovely long sleep of 11 hours straight and last night it was 8 hours straight. I do nurse back to sleep for these initial wakings which I understand may be a problem?

Naps are generally at least 1 hour (only occasionally 30-45 minutes), sometimes 2. He's taking 3 naps almost always (only 1 day since we made the move has he needed 4). I've fiddled around with slow moving swing, completely stopped swing and the crib for naps. He can definitely do 2 hours in the non-moving swing and at least an hour in the crib. I've honestly been afraid to try the crib at bedtime since overnight sleep is so inconsistent and I'm still regularly pretty sleep deprived. But I understand from rereading Alexis' post about weaning from the swing that it's easier to transition to the crib at bedtime, so can someone just tell me to try bedtime in the crib since he clearly doesn't need motion to fall and stay asleep? And if anyone has any insight on his overnight sleep, I'd appreciate it. I try to stretch awake time to 2.5 hours but he's usually done between 2 hours to 2 hours 15 minutes. He eats 30 minutes or so before bed, bath, slathering in Aquaphor, pjs and zippy, a book if he's not too tired and mad and then into the swing awake (no pacifier) in a dark room with white noise. Falls asleep easily on his own. He falls asleep independently at nap too though sometimes the bottle is right before so he's mostly conked out with that.

A cute picture for your trouble.
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Rebecca Trump's profile photoNicole S Kelly's profile photo
8 comments
 
Thanks +Rebecca Trump​. Technically I know about all these different things to try but I'm not great at actually applying them to this guy. :) Colin was so easy in many ways, dropped overnight feeding quite early so I never dealt with these issues myself.
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Lydia M

Cry it Out  - 
 
Ugh. So I'm having major sleep woes and I need help. Mostly because my husband works insane hours and I don't have the mental fortitude to deal with this. So here goes.

A month ago we moved into a 2 bedroom apartment so our daughter could have her room. We also switched our then 8 month (now 9 month) baby onto a 2-3-4 schedule. Prior to this move, she had been going down awake for 80%+ naps and 100% bedtime, and happily. Something about all the insanity meant that we started nursing to sleep for some naps and then more naps. I was never trying to nurse to sleep, but life is hectic, and I would go to feed her and she'd pass out. You see where this is going, right?

We never nursed to sleep for bedtime because I'm not a glutton for punishment, and there was a good chunk of time and lots of activity between a wide awake nursing sesh and put down.

The past two weeks she has had a cold, gotten one tooth, working on another, and probably a growth spurt to make sure we're all crazy. She is fighting naps, hard, and we're currently on minute 22 of bedtime crying.

So I need to stop nursing her to sleep for naps and be consistent. But guys, I am so shot. I put her down for every. single. sleep. session. and am the caregiver 95% of the time. (My husband actually works 100 hours a week, so I can't farm this out to him). And she still wakes up 2 times a night to nurse, so I am so tired. I don't fall asleep quickly after I nurse, her, either. I'd like to sleep when she sleeps during the day, or at least watch Netflix, but by the time she is done crying, I have knots in my stomach and can't sleep. It's awful. So sometimes I just cave, and after playing with her for a bit I just nurse her and let her sleep on my chest. Which is inconsistent. But my sanity.

Any tips? Anything? I live in a small apartment, so it's not like I can leave while she cries, or go to a different floor. She has black out curtains, white noise, sleep sack, etc. And her wall abuts the bathroom so I can't even shower. I've had bad postpartum anxiety/blues, and hearing her cry this much is horrible for my sanity.
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Lydia M's profile photoRebecca Trump's profile photo
3 comments
 
Keep up the good work!
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Amy Maffucci

Discussion  - 
 
I'm having an early wake up issue with my 14 month old daughter. Up until a couple weeks ago she was waking at 6:30. We're on the west coast and after a 2 week trip to the east coast, her entire schedule has readjusted except for wake up time. It seemed like it was moving towards 6/6:30, but for the past week we're firmly at 5:30. Nap is from 12:30-3:00 and bedtime is pretty much always 7:30. Her room is completely dark and we still have white noise in there. Any ideas what it could be?
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Amy Maffucci's profile photoRebecca Trump's profile photo
7 comments
 
Good luck!
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Nicole S Kelly

Discussion  - 
 
How does the baby know we're trying to watch Game of Thrones? You think you've gotten the late bedtime fixed, ha ha. 10:15pm is party time!

Side note, I love that my toddler just existing causes the baby to laugh and coo. Talk about cheap entertainment!
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Alexis Dubief's profile photoNicole S Kelly's profile photo
2 comments
 
+Alexis Dubief Pretty sure I'm scarred for life as well. 😁 This little dude is so sensitive, he couldn't even tolerate us watching a sitcom while he was nursing and facing away from the TV after about 2 months. Good grief! 
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Alexis Dubief
owner

Fun Stuff  - 
 
+Rebecca Trump When you go to the concert, just make sure you make sure your little dude understands that the performance he's enjoying is a faded copy of the 80's rock band glory of what once was ;)
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Rebecca Trump's profile photo
 
:) I'll do my best to tell myself the same, since I didn't see them live in their heyday.
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Maria Shockey

Discussion  - 
 
Hi everyone!
I guess I`m joining the ranks of parents whose toddlers resist naps. My daughter is 2 years and 1 month and for the past several weeks has been skipping naps. I leave her in a crib for an hour regardless if she sleeps or not, and she just jumps, talks, plays, etc. My question is - when did you know for sure that your child was done with naps? As far as understand, 2 is a little bit on the early side, so I`m hoping that this is just a phase. Did anyone have similar experience? How did you get through nap resistance?
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Maria Shockey's profile photoRebecca Trump's profile photo
4 comments
 
No prob
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Kathleen Zdenek

Discussion  - 
 
I read often but haven't posted. Our son who just turned 1 is thankfully a pretty decent sleeper. But our daughter, now 3.5, has always been a challenge. She didn't sleep through the night until 22 months old and often only ever in 5 hour chunks from 16ish months until 22 months. We tried everything but she struggles with sleep separation anxiety. She had a good 8ish month run of putting herself to sleep and staying asleep with minor hiccups. Until 3 weeks ago. She has started refusing to even go to sleep and we're seeing behaviors that are all new. Definitely at a loss. Her bed time routine is and always has been regimented. Lights stay low building up to bed time, her lamp on her head board is red. She uses a blanket as a comfort item and she has an okay to wake clock, amongst other supports. But we're stumped and exhausted!
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Kathleen Zdenek's profile photoRebecca Trump's profile photo
5 comments
 
I'm a bit confused, perhaps because this strikes me as a very strange schedule for a preschooler. It sounds like she's getting about 12 hours of sleep at night plus a nap. Is that right? About what time does she wake up from the nap that she goes down for at 11:30 a.m.? I know you say she is tired before 6:30pm, but I wonder if some of your trouble isn't that you're actually putting her to bed too early/too close to when she wakes up from her nap. Finally, do you live in a place that practices daylight savings time? If so, how did that affect things? Did her 6 a.m. wakeup used to be 5 a.m. before you turned the clocks back?
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Hellooooo! It's been sooo long since I've been here, but I've been meaning to save some swing-baby-parent's life for a while. Ready for it?! I have a Fisher Price motor replacement (with toys, unopened and in the box) from 2013, before the new de-grade that automatically stops the motor. If anyone would like it, I will happily give it to you (for the price of shipping).
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Alexis Dubief's profile photoLaurielle Turcat's profile photo
2 comments
 
I will definitely post it on FB, good idea! I'm hardly being generous - just want to get it to someone who could use it instead of taking up space.  And we have a bet going ;) As for no more babies, we both have been in the "mostly ehhhh..." stage for the past 2 years, especially with my recent health crap, but just watch, we'll get rid of the motor, the cloth diapers, and other important baby stuff and BAM, I'll get pregnant hahaha.

It's so good to follow your book stuff, even if from afar and not nearly as often as I used to. Keep up the good work :)
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About this community

Practical support for all things related to kids and sleep. Short naps, sleep regressions, bedtime battles, sleep training, etc. Also? Will be hosting free group video sleep consults. Drop in and check it out!

Rachell Gautz

Cry it Out  - 
 
Need night sleep advice for my 9-month-old! I've been nursing him to sleep in our bed, but now that he is pulling up on a regular basis (on the bed rails) I really want to get him sleeping in the crib. Bedtime is 7-7:30 with a 6-7 wake up. Routine is typical bath-boob-book.

Night 1 of extinction CIO: 45 minutes of bawling followed by about 2 hours of sleep, at which point I nursed him down in our bed. Night 2: 1 hour of bawling, followed by 20 minutes of quiet, then another 30 minutes of bawling, at which point SO went and soothed him. Then off-track for a couple of nights (he fell asleep on the boob). Last night: 50 minutes of bawling, 40 minutes of (presumable) sleep, then 20 minutes of more bawling after which SO laid down with him and got him back to sleep.

So...how many more days do I give it before I give up? And what to do when he wakes so soon after I put him to bed? Should I be putting him to bed earlier? I've been trying to follow a 2-3-4 schedule. 
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Rachell Gautz's profile photoRebecca Trump's profile photo
3 comments
 
Older typically makes for harder, I think..... Best wishes!
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Mary MacFarlane

Nap Battles  - 
 
Hi everyone
Having some serious nap issues with my 18 month. She naps like a champ at daycare but napping at home on the weekend is impossible. She goes down ok but invariably wakes at the 45 minute mark screaming her head off. She's absolutely inconsolable. This has been going on for a month or so now and it's driving me bonkers. She will be home with me and 2 month old sister for the summer and I am desperate to get this corrected cause girl needs her sleep. Nighttime sleep is totally fine and has been for a while. Hoping peeps here have some tips. Thanks!
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Mary MacFarlane's profile photoNuBabyMusic's profile photo
5 comments
 
We do vídeos with soothing music, try it out, we think that gonna help to get your littleone sleepy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O659CDOGme8&list=PLxica6xlmLfKkQgHiCL1VkxWcWfDzfi2G&index=6
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(Sorry for the novel) - I think we really biffed it w/ our 18 month old. We've always broken the rule and nursed him to sleep bc it's never had an effect on his ability to put himself back to sleep. So we're still doing that. It doesn't always put him out the way it used to, but he knows once he's in his crib we are not coming back. There's been a LOT of drama lately though. I know the 18 month sleep regression can be a doozy (he language growth has been INSANE). Plus, we are just 3 weeks into a new house. Would this be a bad time to finally start a "big kid"/non-nursing bed time routine? If we should start one - tips? Talk to him about it? How much self-soothing time should we buffer for? Have just dad put him down after nursing? We've had to do that a few times bc of evening plans and he completely loses it when I leave the room.
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Rebecca Trump's profile photoRebecca Phillips's profile photo
4 comments
 
Great thanks as always for sharing your wisdom. I'm glad it worked for you guys! 
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Jennifer Simms

Discussion  - 
 
You guys were very helpful with our sleep struggles with our first...and here I am again seeking help for my second...
We are in the midst of trying to get our 3 month old to the crib instead of the rock n play.
She was sleeping in the rock n play with about one wakeup a night at around 3am (8pm-3am stretch)
My plan so far has been to put her to bed in the crib and after two wakeups move her to the rock n play. We've made it from 8pm-midnight in the crib but then she's done with it.
Am I going about this the right way?
A couple other notes about this:
*We have to lay her on her side to get her to sleep in the crib at all and I guess that makes me nervous since she's not on her back
*i have been feeding her at her midnight wake up (only a 4 hr stretch) when she wasn't usually eating until 3am (6-7 hr stretch) is this going to cause her to begin getting used to waking sooner to eat

Thank you for any advice you may have about this transition 😄

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Kelly Wiley's profile photoNadeen Sivic's profile photo
11 comments
 
I think I am with the other ladies. She is very wee. I dont know about this rock n play...assuming its a rocking sleep thing of sorts. personally I would leave her there until she is too big and uncomfortable in it....then she will figure out the bed is better. But as someone else mentioned dont chop and change. There may come a point where she gets upset about transitioning... But she may surprise you and sail right through it all unfussed. ☺ Good luck. 
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Nicole S Kelly

Discussion  - 
 
This dude's bedtime and early overnight are a hot mess. I keep debating posting a question because this guy is so inconsistent I don't then know where I can declare a pattern I want to address. He's a few days shy of 5 months. Just trying out a transition to the zipadee zip that a friend gave us in medium, otherwise swaddled since he was tiny. Sleeping in the swing though lately at night I haven't been turning it on after an overnight waking because it seems to wake him up (it's clunking quite loudly these days). He falls asleep independently at nap, a good time apart from eating and without a pacifier. Darkened room with white noise. His naps recently lengthened at about 4 months to being between 45-90 minutes. He's up for the day between 7am and 8:30am (his brother is 8:30pm-8am). He's currently doing 4 naps but I'm questioning if he's trying to drop that fourth nap and I'm messing him up. From early on he has been all over the map of sleeping huge chunks like 9 hours, then goes to waking every 3 hours, and occasionally mama torture of waking every 30-60 minutes overnight.

I consider bedtime around 7-8pm but he's not getting a long sleep period until between 11pm and 1am, so to me it's essentially like he still has a late bedtime. But feels like bedtime is earlier because he just wants to nurse back to sleep or eat and go back to sleep. So what's happening lately is around 6-6:30pm he'll have been up 1.5 hours and I will put him down for the last nap. I either wake him up after 30 minutes for bath time with his brother or he'll wake up on his own after 45 minutes. Then typically he's rubbing his eyes constantly after about an hour (his usual I'm ready to sleep sign). I'll feed him again which takes him to about 12 ounces supplement and I think he needs between 13-20, depending on growth spurts etc. From there I basically need to nurse him to sleep and he's fighting it most of the way. It's worse if I try to keep him up 2 hours. From that time until the aforementioned 11pm to 1am range, he's walking up ever 30-60 minutes and he might want to eat again, might not. It is also a little tricky to tell if he's actually hungry with his tendency to refuse the bottle.

I feel like part of the problem is not eating enough during the day. He's gone through various phases of bottle refusal (we nurse and I have to supplement) to the point one day he went 24 hours without a bottle. I feel like we're at an okay place with the bottle right now so I think if he's not eating much it's because he's full or distracted. We do the bottle in the swing, swaddled, dim light with white noise.

Any ideas on where to start? I was thinking about trying to nix that last nap and just keep him to around 2 hours. Thanks if you read this far, I feel like there's so many variables and my varying states of sleep deprivation don't help.
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Rebecca Trump's profile photoKatz Annette's profile photo
14 comments
 
very cute !
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Hello everyone! My 7.5 month old is on a 2-3-4 hour nap-nap-bed schedule and put his myself to sleep without props (woohoo). He's asleep btwn 6:30-7pm- then is waking between 9-10pm to eat- usually a full feeding. Then the rest of the night is a crapshoot with usually 1-2 more waking a before he's up around 6:45 for the day. My question is- should he be waking 2-3 hours after bed to eat again?? Should I still be feeding him? I've tried not and he gets pissed lol. After his wakings he goes right back down after feeds. It's just so hard to tell if he's really hungry or just a habit now. Any advice? Thank you! Alexis you really helped w my daughter so I trust this site. ☺️
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Rachel Brousseau-Karrmann's profile photoRebecca Trump's profile photo
3 comments
 
I'd ride it out for the next couple days, see if a set time kicks in for that 9ish wake up. If so, then do 'wake to sleep' for 4 days and see what happens on the 5th.

And, make sure that last feeding is at least 20 min before bed to avoid reinforcing a suck/sleep association.
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Stephani Williams

Early Morning  - 
 
Any tips on transitioning the notoriously early riser and otherwise generally inconsistent sleeper to a one nap schedule?

My little dude is 15 months, and has been on and off refusing his pm nap for a month or two. We've reestablished a time or two limiting the am nap, playing around with the wake time, but inevitably it seems to buy a week or two and then we're back to every other day refusals.

He's never been a great pm napper, but over the past few months his am nap has been consolidating I think (before I started limiting I could get 2-2.5 hrs naps) ... So I'm thinking as he gets closer and closer to 18 months it's probably time to move to 1 nap.

The kicker is he likes to get up early ... Between 4:45 and 5:15 is pretty consistent over the last 6 months despite all efforts (early bedtime - 6 pm, later bedtime -8 pm), leaving in crib til 6 am (almost never falls back asleep literally I can count on one hand), bright sun in evenings, blackout curtains, noise machine, etc.

I've basically succumbed to that at least for now he's an early riser but even if I stretch him 5.5 hrs his one nap of the day is likely to start at 11 am at the latest!!! Leaving a pretty big stretch to his 7 pm bedtime (asleep time) assuming he naps 2+ hrs at that point (I fear the overtired short nap).

Right now we use a 9 am and 2 pm nap time and some days come 8:45 am we are approaching meltdown -- so it's hard to imagine stretching him another 2 hrs at that point (or even 15 minutes if we make the move gradually).

Any suggestions??!??!
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Rebecca Trump's profile photoStephani Williams's profile photo
8 comments
 
Today was 90 but I've also tried 60 and 120

90 worked the other day for my husband hence my trying that again since my 60 yesterday also backfired ...


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Kara Reynolds

Short Naps  - 
 
Good afternoon everyone!

We followed Alexis' advice about a year ago and have been so incredibly happy with the amount of sleep our daughter is getting! We've had some rough patches, but knowing the big things that we can do to help her sleep better has made it all pretty smooth.

Current question: Our LO is now 20 months. She didn't seem to have any issues adjusting to the time change, but since around that time she has been more frequently waking up about an hour into her nap (usually her naps are 2 - 3 hours), hysterically sad and not going back to sleep on her own. Sometimes I can go in and she'll fall back asleep on my shoulder. I'm suspicious this is a mid-nap-poop situation (i.e. she's pooping in the middle of her nap and it wakes her up just enough to be awake but she's gotten enough sleep to not just go right back down).

I'm looking for any suggestions or words of wisdom about the nap ruining poop. Is it OK for me to have her sleep on me for that second hour? I definitely don't want it to turn into a habit. Also, for what its worth, we're planning on doing potty training with her in May (we wont be worrying about naps/night time at this point). Perhaps that will change up her pooping routine?

Thanks.
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Kara Reynolds's profile photoKelly Wiley's profile photo
6 comments
 
I always went in right away since my daughter battled diaper rash, but it certainly depends on your kiddo and what you feel comfortable doing! Good luck!
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Rebecca Trump
moderator

Fun Stuff  - 
 
+Jonelle Salmeier you think 3.5 is too young for GnR live in concert? Our little guy loves a rock concert but so many unknowns: Will they play 'get in the ring'? Will the middle age fans behave themselves?

Anywho, as my hubby and I ponder whether to buy just 2 vs. 3 tickets, it made me think of you - the one other parent I know jammin to some GnR with babes :)
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Jonelle Salmeier's profile photoRebecca Trump's profile photo
4 comments
 
Lucky for us, we're the second stop on the stadium tour so I presume he'll make it that far. And, perhaps age has mellowed the fellows. 
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Garth F

Nap Battles  - 
 
Hello Sleep Peeps! I used to come here often when my toddler was a baby. We navigated the baby sleep issues and ended up with an A+ (in my opinions) sleeper. My little love normally went to bed between 7:30/8 and woke around 8 am. He was taking one fabulous nap from about 1-3.
Last week, we gave up our binkies to the Easter Bunny. Sad to say that I really regret it now. After one rough night, he resumed normal night sleep.
Naps, however, have become an issue. It's been a week without naps. He is miserable and difficult all afternoon without it. I am miserable, too! He gets overtired before bed and it's been unpleasant to say the least. One day, I even tried driving around endlessly I hopes he'd snooze. Any advice? Are my nap days done?!


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Nicole S Kelly's profile photoKathleen Zdenek's profile photo
6 comments
 
My daughter (3.5) is a lousy sleeper but I understand from others that naps often fall off btwn 2.5 & 3 but patience should win out and they typically return. Good luck!
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Ashley Peel Smith

Nap Battles  - 
 
I need some nap related help. My son just turned 2 and has just started refusing to nap. Before spring break and the time change I would put him down for a nap between noon and 2pm, and he'd usually nap for 1-2 hours, with 30-60 minutes of chattering to himself before falling asleep. At night we'd usually put him to bed around 8/8:30 with the same amount of singing/talking before falling asleep. He wakes up between 6:30 and 7:30am For naps I'd usually take him to his room, change his diaper, read 1 book and sing to him, then lay him down and leave the room.
Last week we went on a big road trip, but he seemed to nap and sleep as normal. Now that we're back in our own time zone he's finally having to deal with the time change.
This week, today and the last 3 days when I put him down for his nap he's just talked to himself for 60-90 minutes and then started crying... After a few minutes of crying I go and get him. Yesterday after I got him up, we left the house and he fell asleep in the car within 5 minutes. He's been cranky and exhausted every night, even though we're putting him to bed earlier.

I'm not sure if this is just the effect of the time change and recovering from a trip, or if he's ready to cut out naps and have an earlier bed time. Any suggestions for what I could do/try? I use room darkening curtains, but haven't used a noise machine since July. He's skipped naps before, but never so many in a row.
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Nicole S Kelly's profile photoKelly Wiley's profile photo
4 comments
 
We went through this stage around 2 yo also. Keep at it!
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