By: Patrick J. Whelan
Once again, I find myself heartbroken,
Can’t find the words, maybe they shouldn’t be spoken.
My heart aches, it is caught in my throat,
My soul can’t cross over, this fiery moat.
The pain unbearable, my strength all gone,
Though I am a fighter, I feel the darkness has finally won.
I feel beaten down, totally defeated,
This is more than temporary; my angst is totally deep seated.
The devil has scored, he made his goal,
My heart is nothing more than the ash of a coal.

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#freebookfriday Friday Mar. 11th & Sat Mar. 12th get your free kindle download of two of my bestselling books. If you have an addiction and want to escape it, these books are for you. Doesn’t cost you a penny for these two days and the kindle reader app is free for all your devices. Check out how to get clean, a better way of life! Happy reading! Please share this post with your friends.

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The next installment of my personal recovery series is out in eBook and paperback. Recovery, what is still working for me. This is a great recipe for a sustained sobriety and a look into leading a clean life. I have three years clean, and you can too! Always remember; One day at a time!

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Life takes us down many roads, some are detours, others dead ends. In this last year I have been on the great interstate of life. Though I travel at high speed toward my destination, I take rest stops and smell the roses. During one of these rest stops, I met my loving wife Samantha. I have published 10 books, helped her publish 1, we are both working on our first novels, and I am 5 classes into my college career. My grades, like my spirits are high. There is no limit to what I can accomplish, but sober and living clean are the only ways to get there. For those struggling in getting or keeping sober, please pick up a copy of my first recovery book http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00YVD52MS/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1456676465&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=recovery%2C+what+works+for+me&dpPl=1&dpID=51z-WU6uL9L&ref=plSrch My second book is soon to follow. Don't lose hope, great things await you on the other side of the guilt, shame and pain.❤

Ode to darkness©
By: Patrick J. Whelan

I remember a time the darkness within me did reign,
There was no hope, no light, loneliness I simply cannot explain.

I buried up any thought that could relate to a feeling,
All that mattered was my selfish dealing.

I did seed the clouds constantly, creating storms,
I was cold and dead inside, never did my heart warm.

I could see no way out, so my thoughts turned to my death,
Twice I was on the precipice, within just a breath.

I did not wish to fail or get caught, so a gun was my way,
Bought one twice, put them in my mouth, but by the end of the day.
God showed me in the final second, the pain I would leave behind,
This did not sit well within my mortal mind.

To think the world would be better without me, was just another excuse,
A way to justify my end, after all, I was running from self-abuse.

Though I had realized that killing myself was not the solution,
I still didn’t know how to fix the darkness, there seemed no solution.

I sank farther and farther, away from the light,
All hope becoming lost, I had no will to fight.

Then in my darkest hour, I again picked up a gun,
This time to rob, however there was nowhere to run.

I got caught, I did not try to deny,
This was my rock bottom, nothing left to try.

I went to jail, my mind in panic, then a sliver of light,
I realized God was behind this and I began to fight.

The battle was within, the struggle to overcome the pain,
The battle was long and hard, but finally I did see gain.

I was again hearing the words of our Father, a voice I had not heard in years,
My hope was returning; he was banishing all my fears.

My incarceration, was a gift, helping me make my escape,
No longer did I have to dwell in the dark, no longer sealed in its drape.

I was learning to be a creature of the light,
No longer in the negative, not consumed by plight.

I put myself in the Word, my faith had returned,
The fire within, now brightly burned.

I was set on improvement, making myself a better man,
I began to create goals, I started to see God’s plan.

The more I followed it, the more apparent was the next step.
I was finally awake; the time was over the I seemed to have slept.

The darkness was still within me, and I do occasionally throw it a bone,
But no longer did it consume me, my soul had come home.

I did my time, I worked on my various issues,
I stayed in the light, no more reasons to constantly grab the tissues.

The crying was over, happiness was now my way,
I had my faith and myself, no more burdens on my heart did I lay.

I finished my sentence, had sobriety under my belt,
Went on to start school headed down my path, and I finally felt.

The blessings of our Father, I was doing the work he has for me,
The plan I did never before see.

I study to help bring others back into the light,
Away from the path of darkness, teach them how to fight.

For this is the responsibility of all whom have found the way,
Help lead others from the night, and into the light of day!

Married life is treating me well. College is going excellent. Life is good when we embrace God's love and live in his will. Before my good days were being so wasted that I didn't care about all the problems, guilt and shame. There was an easier way, living without all the problems by not creating them in the first place! When we live in an honorable manner it is easier to love ourselves and loving yourself is one of the biggest keys to staying clean! Just for today I will try to do right by me!

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