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I have gotten so wrapped up, that I forget that there are other people that may care about me even if the one person I want to care about me, doesn't care one little bit.

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When life isn't what we thought it ought to be, it is important that we recognise the when life challenges us, we have choice!
While my life hasn't always been easy, I can always say I have had the power to contribute to my healing or contribute to my demise.
We have the power and the ability to lead a life towards healing and grace.  My 15 year old daughter is going through a terrible and horrific time, which includes depression, self-harm and feelings of suicide.  As a mother it has been the hardest thing I have ever faced and wish that she can find peace within herself sooner rather than later.
But as I stood on the edge of how she feels, I understand that it isn't always easy to be happy with what life is giving you.
As another day of razors edge revelations, today was another day where I had to stand up for her to realise that she is loved and that no matter what would happen "I WILL NOT GIVE UP!"  It is with sheer grit and determination that I choose to contribute to her wellbeing and only wish for her to realise that she has the power to focus on the love that she can give herself. Or she can focus on striving and contributing to her wounds and demise.
I understand that the ache inside our soul that cannot be soothed with chocolate, or wine or love from another, or controlling your environment and every way.
It is time to make peace with the past and leave it where it belongs.
Look within and contribute to the world's sense of peace while looking for your own.
with all my warmth and heart
Chintamani

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just tired of being ME
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but I never recognised that men and women wanted love at the deepest part.
I had instinctively given up on myself, but not on love.

 

I wanted to be nurtured and sincerely valued in an expressive way of joy and uplifting fulfilment.
When my life didn’t turn out the way I thought it should, I got angry!
My Mum was to blame, my Dad wasn’t there for me, you turned your back, I got hit, he didn’t love me, you pursued another woman, it was all your fault!  But was it?

No journey is complete without experiencing some grit.

I hated the world, I hated myself and I blamed all that is in my life. Tormented by the pain and struggle of simply existing I emerged as a contradiction. Believing in the world as a loving place but despising it and every single second I existed.


It’s the transformation that occurs during this emerging acknowledgement of how I could be in the world. My embarrassment was I was not able to pull myself out of my own dark night sooner.
So I stayed in and invested time, energy and money in making my wound the world and my life.

What gives me the accreditation to believe in such truths? My life experience is.



No one should ever feel the torcher of being loved less, but we do.

If you would like to read more
please follow the link
http://thedivinegem.com/forgiving-the-tyrant.html

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The truth is and was that I could never portray my real self - I was too frightened to. The ridicule and the belittling in my childhood was such a harsh reminder that I could never be accepted truly, for the person I am. When a child holds every word that is said to them as law, then what else was there for me to believe in?
www.thedivinegem.com

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The greatest power  that we have to empower ourselves is always beating within us - our heart!

To my heart that has taken a beating it is my solemn pledge to allow you to heal form this day on.
http://thedivinegem.com/inpiration---things-that-help-me.html

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Hello dear ones - Sometimes the best gift you can be given is a broken heart. The Journal novella is an inspiring tale composed entirely of diary extracts and poetry that shares every emotion from heart break to honest, true love. Follow this link to read extracts, watch the video and become inspired. Much love x

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i hope someone will make me believe love is true....
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