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A student is on one side of a raging river. There are no bridges. He has no boat. He shouts out to the master on the opposite bank. “How do I get to the other side?” The master shouts back: “You are on the other side.”

We spend the whole day putting everything and everyone in nice neat boxes. When the truth is there is no box. After the box has collapsed we unite opposites. See the world without boxes. This is your liberation, and enlightenment. Then you will get the joke, even if it is days or decades later. 

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A Christian, a Muslim and a Buddhist die and arrive at the Gate of Heaven. An Angel (or deva) stops them and asks, "Why do you come here? Can you tell me the reasons why you are allowed to enter Heaven?"

The Christian replies, "My ancester disobeyed God, and I sinned all my life: I killed, I lied, I cheated my wife and I were greedy. However, Jesus died for me and all my sins are forgiven. So I deserved to enter Heaven." "OK," replies the Angel, "sounds good, but I must give you an entrance examination before you can enter." The Christian promptly agrees and the Angel asks him: "How to spell Jesus?". It is an easy question and the Christian passes through the Gate.

Next came the Muslim, who says, "I had not done any good or evil things during my life but I was very devout. I prayed to God five times a day. So, I too should enter Heaven." The Angel replied, "It sounds OK to me but I have to give you a test also. How to spell Allah?" Not too bad, and the Muslim passes the test. and the Muslim passes through the Gate.

Finally, it is the Buddhist turn, who tells the Angel,"I had done all the good things in my life and I followed Buddha's five prescepts: I never killed, I donated to charities, I meditated every day, and I never cheated my boss nor my customers." The Angel replies, "that is very good, but there are no exceptions. You must pass the entrance test also in order to get in." Thinking that the test should be simple, he agrees to take the test. The Angel then asks him: "How to spell Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva?"

A paratrooper was scared to jump. His instructor told him, "If anything goes wrong, say, `Buddha oh Buddha' and you will be saved." 

The paratrooper got so scared that he forgot to pull his rip cord. So he said, "Buddha oh Buddha," and a hand came out of the sky and saved him. 

He said, "Thank God," and he was dropped.
You don't need a parachute to skydive. You only need it to skydive more than once.

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The guru plays a language game with the banker.

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Greetings. It is my considered opinion that a group that is not seriously commited to humor is not to be trusted. I see that you don't take comedy lightly. On sober reflection I have decided that I would like access your venerable fund of wisdom. This is no laughing matter I assure you. What next?

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A video koan about illusion.
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