Lies, lies, lies!
Only breeds more lies!
I hate being lied to -
I’ve dealt with your kind before.
This new fact now changes
The way I perceive you -
All through your cowardly core.

It pains me to my stomach
That I had trusted you.
But this is the thanks I get -
When I gave you my all.
I feel as if my mind and heart
Would burst and splatter its blood,
Because this betrayal I cannot forget.

Nothing I did was ever good enough!
You verbally beaten me down
And played me your puppet -
I tried to see through your murky eyes,
But the means doesn’t justify -
The threats and cruelty thrown my way, 
Soon my dark wings will take flight and soar through the skies!

~ Scarlett Crimson  2010


Who do you think you are to say I wasn't real?

You've seen the real me all along and all that I feel.

You fell in love with a fun-loving, confident, intelligent, and eccentric woman,

It was your "representative" I sadly and unfortunately met - not the REAL man.

Your insecurity and controlling ways I was stupid to conform to,

You took away what was me and in the process I lost myself, too.

You loved the challenge of my wit, spunkiness, and the brutal honesty I still perpetuate,

Why did you change all of a sudden and wanted someone to dominate?

If you constantly need to feel superior because of your insecurities,
Then good luck with that because all you'll get are obscurities.

With an epiphany, I stopped for a moment and took a long, hard look in the mirror;

Just like an apocalypse, the issue wasn't me, it was your own neurotic stupor.

I gave you my all and truly loved you with all my heart, mind, body, and soul;

In return, I got your betrayal of your weakness, lies, and a quitter's heart with an empty hole.

But do not feel sorry for me as I do not pity myself - for survival mode I do not lack,

I'm only left with full of regrets and could only wish this past year I could take back.

My "representative" - the one you THOUGHT you saw and made you flee,

Will haunt your days and nights as you were biased - therefore mistaken about me.

Moving forward - I'm optimistic towards the future in thinking that if our paths shall cross again,

The time to heal all wounds would've taken effect and once more to each other we'll be friends.

~ Scarlett Crimson  2010


Let me sink, pull me out.
Let me in, I want to get out.

Let me live, I want to die.
Let me believe in you, tell me a lie.

Let me love, infect me with doubt.
Let me explain, don’t hear me out.

Let me explore, hide the world from me.
Let me be unique, conquer and conform me.

Let me see purity, I don’t want to commit.
Let me keep a secret, make me tell you and regret it.

Let my tears fall, hush me tenderly - help me regain my pride.
Let me walk away, hold me down - keep me inside.

Let me see you, I want to hide from you.
Let music invade my soul, don’t let the noise filter through.

Let me be sheltered, I want to escape.
Let me embrace humanity, I want hate to infest a mind-rape.

Let me know passion, ruin my fantasy.
Let me delve in darkness, deny me ecstasy.

Let me have fun, I want to be bored.
Let me luxuriate in my poetry, cut my creative umbilical cord.

Let me believe, obscure my conception.
Let me be a free-spirit, I want conformity to strangle me in its deception.

Let my imagination roam freely, stave off my dreams.
Let me organize and focus on my thoughts, give me a brain jam till my mind screams.

~ Scarlett Crimson  2010

Shattered Illusion

You took me in and held me close,

You wiped my tears and kissed my nose.

For all your warmth and loving sincerity,

You made me feel loved and gave me security.

You gave me hugs and brighten up my day,

You showered me with kisses in your sweet and gentle way.

You always took care of me and heard me out,

You always gave me sound advice and helped me throughout.

You say I'm your best friend - your soulmate,

But lately, your sensitivity has caused a stalemate.

I'm not exactly sure what's gotten into you,

But you are not the person who I thought I knew.

What happened to the man who was level-headed?

He seems bitter now, never at fault, and feeling all jaded.

You said you would never hate me, but you did - vehemently so,

You've hurt me to the core, how much - you would never know.

I still love you with all my heart and that's unconditional,

I could never hate you as I try to be rational.

Communication was the key that kept us grounded and our love flourishing,

But recently, I feel like a revolving door - I never know if I'm coming or going.

I keep walking on eggshells, always guessing what mood you're in,
Your moodiness has taken its toll on me and wearing me thin.

I'm going out of my mind with worrying about you,
It's not really fair to me what you put me through.

Either you love me passionately or hate me equally - I don't know which it is,

But to punish me by denying me sex - one of my life's bliss!
Resentment and hurtful memories from my past came rushing back on the matter of sex,

Now you're doing it to me too, the ultimate rejection I thought I had buried with the ex.

How comforting to know I'm easily expendable,

Am I really worth nothing to you - no longer valuable?

If I make you unhappy in any way at all,

Tell it to me straight - it's okay, I can take the fall.

But fall hard I will, for there will be no cushion,

To subdue the pain I'll be in - the one despised emotion.

The shattered illusion here is the love and adoration for me you conveniently portrayed,

You're emotionally flighty, always finding an easy way out - now do you see how I feel betrayed?

My heart's shattered, your love for me mocked,

I took our love seriously, the reciprocal channel blocked.

You're not real, just a figment of my imagination,

A man from my wildest fantasies, but only an illusion.

~ Scarlett Crimson  2009

Road to Nowhere

I walk in circles in search of clues,

But all that I'm finding are these persistent blues.

I've hit rock bottom, this much I know;

This one-way road to nowhere I will reluctantly go.

My body is functioning but my mind isn't too crystal clear,

I keep reminiscing of our times together, all that I hold dear.

My heart has been broken in tiny little pieces,

I will continue to do my best till this pain ceases.

I know that one day I can be happy again,

Just like before - all things bad come to an end.

But with each corner I take further reminds me of you,

If only you felt the same way and still loved me, too.

This long, lonely path threw me off course,

I desperately try to find my strength's source.

But every time I try I fail with each attempt,

I can't help but feel that you still hold me in contempt.

Whatever wrong I've done you, please tell me the truth,

At least give me this courtesy, don't remain aloof.

Otherwise, you will forever keep me on this road to nowhere,

This purgatory you placed on me is not really fair.

~ Scarlett Crimson  2009
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