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Me when I'm about to take a test I know I'm going to fail on.

What old people should be like:

Grandpa: Now son, before yur generation here had all these flashy screens and fancy merchines, there were dem good ol' days when you could just sit on on yur front porch and the nice dinosuar mailman would walk by and toss you yur daily newspaper.

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Get Up it's only a minor gust you!

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You know what I realized?

Airports are overcautious when it comes to security. A couple days ago I thought: what's the need of checking a toddler for weapons? Then this scene popped into my head: 

Mom holding child: "Pardon me"

Guard dude: "What's that in his mouth?" looks closer "oh no explosive pacifier!" chucks it out the window 

pacifier lands on ground harmlessly

mother puts down child and walks towards Gaurs Dude

5 hours later the guard is in the hospital while the mother is in an insane asylum. Moral of the story? Airport guards: Never take a pacifier from a baby, think it's an explosive pacifier and throw it out the window.

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Pick up the pace, the homework I said I wasn't gonna do is somewhere in there!
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no thx.

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Catch that diabolical toddler! I get the last Crispy Cream doughnut before closing time every Tuesday and he knows it!
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