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Thanks a lot you didn't believe me but I wasn't lung about the fake order And if people would just mind their own business we wouldnt of ever had this trouble but you can't see the lies your friends tell or realize they have alterer motives like Keith he's looking for a sucker to move in and leach from since Yvonne died he talks about me to others shit ain't even the truth can't you see all your friends are getting something out of this they don't like me round because they know I know what faltered and users they are and they want to keep using your good nature and so they go to extraordinary lengths to cause problems between us and it wasn't fair of you to not see this and allow it that was my problem and you were to bull headed to see that friends do not play games or stir up trouble between a couple like that if they are true friends they wouldn't have lied and manipulated you like that each one has some thing to gain from this and they are all alone and miserable, I expected a lot more from you than you letting people come between us like this. You say you love me well that was a sure funny way of showing love we never would've been fighting had they minded their own business and kept out of something that they had no right to be in I changed a lot in a month I got a Job and a place to live so I wasn't coming back just because I needed a place to live cause I don't I came back because I love you and wanted to share my positive changes with you. I still do I'll keep hoping and be living in you and I'll keep trying maybe one day you'll put aside our differences to type too. Love is enough to overcome all obstacles and you say you Love me well then be the guy I love and make this better between us it won't be easy but I promise it'll be worth it,

Well I hope your doing okay just wanted to let.you know that impossible thing you told me to go do you know about finding another place for us to live and some sort of income well in less than one months time I've accomplished what you told me to do for you a Job and a place a boat in Emeryville marina nobody else away from Oakland and the b.s. and circle of idiots who like to stir up things this is a good thing I wanted you to see how much you matter to me and that I do love you far more than you know I'd did it these things because you told me to so am I worthy of speaking to

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Ed..........
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I was all these things to you I wanted to hear each and every thought you had and still do you used to tell me everything and I listened with vigor if I didn't care what you said or about you then how come I remember everything that you like the firemans axe you told me you wanted one and that was years ago and when I finally found one I had to do what ever to get it for you. And if you think I don't care or love you that's wrong because I think the world of you and I've always tried showing you that you mean so much I remember the little things you enjoy and when I come across those little things I get them just to see you smile. You closed me off quit telling me those little things and it killed me. You've know clue how much. I tried telling you this but you didn't understand I guess. Please don't go and please don't replace something you can't. If you'd give me a chance I'd be that again for you and I think more of you than this I never let myself think that another was more interested or lived me more than you if you look into your heart you'll see it me there and we had such an awesome closeness once and everyday I wish for that to return remember me when I used to just hold you and listen to what ever you said I held you thru the sadness and sorrow of your girls, I haven't forgotten all those nights when held each other close and it was the greatest thing if I didn't care then why would I remember all the little things that move you you've forgotten about the smoke riders but I didn't please don't think it's fair all this if you loved me you would've so easily tempted by someone and after all these years you still capture my imagination you the most amazing man i ever knew and i hold.you above qll others even myself i guess you just got bored with me my love isnt enought.for you uncondtional forgiving always and everlasting isnt good enough you once told.me i was rhe best youve ever had a nine and a half i guess thwt is good enoughcand you think theres someone whose better but that beca ten and perfect and nobodies perfect ecept.you to me i know.youll return i just.dont know when and how long i hwve to wait but i will wait for you in sadness and sorrow longing for the day you remember me and you love me i hope.you know that your love amazes me tthat there no one whose could ever be better or replace you in my life if you dont seecafter all these years how trully amazing and beautiful iyou are to me i feel sad for.you that you cantsee that your giving.upcthe the greatest love that could ever be who may or maybe interested but only for now unlike me whose interested forever in everything about you

Ed......

I'm not sure why I keep writing posts to you vaudeville know you don't even read them or acknowledge that I exist anymore to you, but I keep trying to reach you still. I know what a beautiful relationship we had for all those years and it was the most lobbing wonderful extraordinary love I have been blessed to have with someone. If a few months of bumps out weighs the Many years of beauty we shared that is truelly sad because I still love you as much as I did that first day when you looked into my eyes you had my heart right then and you still do. I'm sorry things got messed up like they did and although it is frustrating aloof the Times to me I'm sure for you too, this can and will pass but only if you believe it likely do and believe we can do it Together Please don't give up. all these years have I ever thought that I would be better off without you not one single time. I never knew the beauty of love until you. I can't make you stay but I can pray to God for a miracle because that's what it will probably take for you to stay., but I belueve in miracles and you. Your the only person whose ever gave me hope and a feeling that everything will be okay because I had you to hold me at the end of each day. I wish you knew how special you really are and how much you've touched my soul and I'm sorry for all the wrongs I've done I didn't want to hurt you. Please have more faith and try to believe in me. Love has no boundaries that it can't cross with a strong will and believing in each other I still believe in you my love
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