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Their 2 types of Memorial days that are celebrated the world over. Firstly, a Memorial Day is the given day when a loved one died. The other Memorial Day is a set given date(s) is for the Military in which it will pay respect and honour those who died in active military service, that is now traditionally observed on May 30 but now officially observed on the last Monday in May. This will vary from country to country and will be termed in different ways.

What to do on a Memorial Day for a loved one who died? Below are 7 things that can be done.


Light a candle. A single candle light and placed either on a home table or on the
deceased Grave/ Tomb stone can display can make a strong statement. Use a flameless candle to reflect that this person’s memory will live on forever.


Plant a tree or flower in honour of their life.Growing something new out of their death is producing something fresh out of the world they’ve left behind. This could be in a garden, allotment or simply in one of their favorite spots. The tree, plant or flower will symbolise the fact that your loved one lives on and can be a representation and celebration of their life.

Frame their portrait. By framing a special photograph of a loved one (deceased) you are honouring a time and keeping their memory alive. A lovely framed picture with a positive setting will allow you to keep the person forever in your thoughts and will also help others to understand the relationship you had with them. If you didn’t want to get an actual photograph framed, you could get in touch with an artist to sketch from a photograph.

Purchase a memorial plaque.There are a range of memorial plaques that you can acquire of a range of prices. Whether you’d like to honour their memory with a bench or a simple cross, a personal engraved plaque helps their name and legacy to live on forever more.September-12-Cover-Pic-Web
Create a photo album and a Online Memorial of their life. By creating a memory book and Online Memorial, you can evoke on some of your most precious memories and share the creation with others. Making a photo album and creating a Online Memorial is a therapeutic method of dealing with your bereavement and honouring the life of the one that deserves to be remembered in a unique way

Create a memory quilt from their clothing.If you are clearing out a loved one’s closet, creating something original and comforting by de-cluttering their wardrobe and producing a memory quilt. This is a very simple yet beautiful way to honour and respect deceased. You can comfort yourself with everlasting memories. Use T-Shirts, photos, ties and even hats.

Light paper lanterns and set off fireworks annually. On the Memorial Day of your loved one you and others can get together and remember them by celebrating their life with paper lanterns and fireworks. You can write personal messages on the paper lanterns and watch them float captivatingly away into the sky. This is a great way to deal with emotions and to feel grateful for the time on earth you had together.



What to do on a Memorial Day for the Military service. Below are 7 things that can be done.

Visit a historical military landmark or memorial site. Some locations have free public access to view a landmark or memorial site. While there may be other military landmarks or memorial sites that you will want a entry fee. The proceeds earned from military museums, parks, and similar memorials are donated to veterans or to the families of late soldiers.
arch_monument

Lay flowers on one or more graves at a veteran’s cemetery. There are many of veteran’s cemeteries and memorials located throughout your country and near your local community.

Fly your country’s flag using proper mourning etiquette. In some countries on Memorial Day, their flag will be displayed at half-staff from morning to noon, and at full-staff from noon to sunset. Half-staff is the position located in the middle of the flagpole, and full-staff is the position at the very top of the flagpole.

Volunteer to help struggling veterans or the families of late soldiers.If a veteran is disabled, run errands for them or help them with chores around their home. You can also volunteer to babysit the children of single parents who have lost their spouses to war or other military service.

Wear patriotic clothing /accessories. Patriotic clothing can consist of your nations traditional clothes or wearing symbolical colours or wearing badges and pins that commemorate the dead or that support veteran’s organizations.

Honour a veteran or veteran’s organization by using social media. Examples of ways to honour the dead on Memorial Day using social media are publishing website links to Online memorial websites or events, or changing your profile avatar to photos of veterans or your country’s flag.

Donate money to an organization that supports veterans

Thanks for reading and feel free to leave comments or suggestions, and hit the follow us button on http://www.facebook.com/restwithdignity/

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One has to look on the funny side of death. Some people have taken this to the literal sense for their Tomb stones.

Very few people get to choose their own grave stone, coffin or urn. By far and large this will be chosen for you by either close family member, who will want to choose something somewhat fitting and with Dignity. Or by funeral parlours/undertakers who yellowwill proved you with a limited range services. Given the chance and if it is in charater with you it’s great to have a sense of humour about life, but what might be even better is taking your sense of humour with you into the great beyond. So unless you asked to get cremated, and our loved ones choose a ugly urn in which you will be placed forever, you get a grave, which is the ultimate one last opportunity to amuse those around you.

Further below are 7 some pictures of people’s tomb stones, though their time on this planet has ended, their ability to joke about it has not.

So if you are choosing to Tombstone inscriptions or for a Online Memorial for a loved one or yourself. Below are Ten tips.

1. Decide on one family member who is happy to take the reins.

2. For a Tome stone – Find a letter cutter who has had many years’ experience in making Tome stones. They will be able to offer comprehensive advice if needed. Whenever possible, choose a hand carved headstone- this will give you much more freedom in the use of space and you will not be restricted to a template. It is worth remembering that there are no rules; no right or wrong and the person who commissions the headstone must ultimately have what they would like. If you setting this up for a Online memorial , you can have endless pictures to up load this. A suggestion is that many want to try and sync the Tome stone image with the online memorial in look , feel or theme.

3. Be open to the design ideas you are offered.

4. Take time in choosing the wording. Nobody do not be rushed or be made to feel guilty about the time this takes.

5. Go for a design and letterform that is timeless; avoid trends which don’t last and choose letterforms you really like.

6. Try not to use ‘In loving memory of’. It has begun to lose its impact. Look for other ways to express this meaning, like ‘remembered with love’, or why not look into a pictorial carving. A carving can express something that words cannot.

7. Avoid cluttering words. Keep it simple. For example dates are usually best when only the years are used. In time this is what is important. On the other hand, when creating a memorial for a child the days and the months can be very significant especially if they have only lived for a short period of time.

8. Avoid lists of attributes, …again . Keep it simple and try to sum up the points in short sentences.

9. Think about choosing an epitaph that has an impact on those who read it. A line from a poem or a quote. Many people have for instance have used , ‘Beloved daughter, mother, sister and grandmother’ which in 20 years might seem slightly irrelevant. Far better to put something which will stand the test of time.

10. And what brought us to the article……. Wit is the highest form of humour but usually only in conversation. It really needs to be hugely clever to remain funny on a headstone as the years go by .

As I round this off and with the famous words by Monty Python’s move ‘Life of Brian’ Always look on the bright side of life…

Feel free to leave comments or suggestions, and hit the follow us button on http://www.facebook.com/restwithdignity/ Thanks for reading.

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Choosing a theme for a loved one will what they believed in religiously, or show their personal achievements let that be politically, academical or with images of joy with family, friends. There is really no set guide on what to choose, but the age-old term ‘A picture say more than a thousand words dose.’

When friends, family, or the wider community ‘visit’ a deceased Online memorial, this will be their first impression of deceased. It ought to be welcoming and placing the deceased in a positive image. People who are to leave their personal messages of Condolnce on the Online Memorial should leave with a feeling positive about the deceased.

So when choosing Theme or making your own for a loved one/deceased. Be mindful that this will carry a lot Symbolism. Simply put, symbolism adds double-meaning an obvious literal meaning and one that’s more conceptual.

A hand reaching out to another hand, for instance, can symbolize an agreement being reached between two or peace been made. Scenic views of mountains, forest and hills can symbolise tranquility . Or Sunsets meaning a coming to an end , while blue sea waves gently rolling on to beach and represent peace and calmness. It can be that you can have a set of collection of photos or images that you can upload your photos from a number of locations, including Dropbox, Instagram, or straight from your computer.

A good starting point is to look at the free Online Memorial template. From there you can get a good ‘look and feel’ and starting getting ideas for image that you would want to create. Another way is to take a critical look through your own bookshelf or magazines to get other ideas. While you are doing this, ask yourself this really important question as you look at the images – What do you think this images is all about… and how do you know? How will the visitor feel when the see this as an Online Memorial site and most importantly. Dose this represent the deceased.

Below is a step guide for you on how to chose a Theme or how to make your own.

Step 1 . Choose a theme or make your own.

A Professional Online Memorial website like Rest with Dignity ( www.restwithdignity.com) will allow you to choose theme template from various religious icons, Mountains, Sea, Forest , Sunsets setting. Rest with Dignity will also provide you the option to upload your own images that you have created. On that note, if you want to create your own image for the deceased. The theme is very important to communicate the ‘broad message’. The combination of images and symbolism in everything else needs to be presented with a style that is appropriate to the deceased. If you are looking for a certain theme symbolism, Google and Bing images have some good images that are free. If you are wanting some more professional looking and willing to pay, then view Stocksy.com (www.stocksy.com) or Camera Press (www.camerapress.com) are good starting points.

Step 2. Colours

Personalised-book-of-condolence.jpg (680×459)Think about what colours represent, and how they make you feel when you are choosing a template. Choose a palette to work with that reflects the mood or message you want to present. You may want to consider using black, white or neutral tones if you want images to take centre stage. If you are creating your own theme, be mindful of cultural senatives to colours. Black in the West represents death, while in parts of Asia white is Death. Yellow in parts of Asia is Royalty or the colour of gold, while in the West Royal Blue and Purple has association with Royalty.

Step 3. Placement

If you chose a set design themed temple, then the work has been done for you. If you are creating your own image, then images and colours on the page should be placed with purpose. The way they are arranged will affect the way the images ‘talks’ to the viewers. For example, positioning lots of images at various angles, overlapping each other is very casual when compared to a single image layout.

Key tip: A picture can say a thousand words – don’t be afraid to let your images do the talking by using a large size or presenting a visual element rather than lots of text.

Step 4. Contrast

Think about your contrast. The distance between objects, separating unrelated items and grouping information for clarity. Think about using size, colour, shape and proximity to make key ideas and objects in the image stand out, while paying respect to the deceased.

Step 5. Alignment

By considering alignment you can organise your image so that it can be clear in communication.

When things line up they just ‘feel right’ for the viewers but will also represent the deceased values or achievements. When you are creating your own images, work by starting to use a simple grid so that you can balance your layout and align your image(s). There is not set rule on how Online Memorial theme are to look like, there are many options for you to create……. but keep it simple! Less is more, more is less. But each person has their own set of create and there are no rules.

I trust that helps you. Feel free to leave comments or suggestions, and hit the follow us button on http://www.facebook.com/restwithdignity/ Thanks for reading.
How to Theme a Online Memorial.
How to Theme a Online Memorial.
restwithdignity.wordpress.com

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Types of Loss’s and How to deal with Grief.

The loss of a loved one is possibly the hardest experience you will ever have to go through, and it can leave you feeling lost, hopeless and alone. The more significant the loss, the more intense the grief is likely to be. Grief is a natural response to loss, and it can affect every part of your life. Grief has no set pattern. Everyone experiences grief differently. Some people may grieve for weeks and months, while others may describe their grief lasting for years.

But we need to look at the many different types of loss, and each one of the loss brings different challenges who are grieving. Some forms of death, such as suicide or the death of a child, are more distressing than others, but all types of loss are extremely difficult. The main types of loss include:


Death of a child: this can occur in infancy due to miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal disease or SIDS, or it can occur in later years with the death of an older child.

Suicide: suicide is a growing epidemic around the world, with experts predicting a further rise in numbers of suicides as the impact of rising unemployment and other economic factors continue to take their toll on individuals.

Death of a spouse: the death of a spouse is particularly powerful as many couples have a sense of a shared identity or interdependence, which can cause the surviving spouse to feel isolated and lonely, like they’ve lost their other half.

Death of a parent: the death of a parent is particularly difficult for children, as the surviving parent or carer can often be so overwhelmed with their own grief that they are unable to properly support the children in their grieving process.

Death of a sibling: the passing of a sibling is a devastating life event, because, for most people, the relationship between you and your sibling is the longest and most significant relationship in your life.

In every case, this loss will be a life changing event, so it’s important to allow yourself to mourn for your loss. Grief is not just about coping with loss, it’s also about coping with change.

Grief can be expressed in many ways and it can affect every part of your life; your emotions, thoughts and behaviour, beliefs, physical health, your sense of self and identity, and your relationships with others. Grief can leave you feeling sad, angry, anxious, shocked, regretful, relieved, overwhelmed, isolated, irritable or numb. Although grieving is different for everyone, the psychological processes of mourning and grief are universal.

There are 5 Stages of Grief

Denial – The first reaction to learning the death of a loved one is to deny the reality of what is happening. This is a natural defence mechanism that we naturally have and use to numb the shock, and temporarily help mask the pain and shock.

Anger – Once the denial starts to wear off as with the shock, realism sets in, we start to feel the pain of our sudden loss. To cope with this, we turn our pain into anger, directing it to in objects, friends, family, pets….even at the loved one we have lost.

Bargaining – Once the anger fades it is then replaced by feelings of powerlessness and vulnerability. We may try to counteract this and attempt to regain control, through bargaining with ourselves or a higher power. It’s common to find yourself saying things like, ‘if only we had gotten spoken to him/her sooner,’ ‘if I was only there earlier prevent it,’ ‘if only I had listened him/her more.’ This bargaining is another defence mechanism to delay the inevitable stage of accepting reality.

Depression – After the bargaining stage we can then move into depression. We may experience sadness and worry about the practical implications of the loss like, funeral proceedings, the burial, Funeral invitations ect and we may also experience a quiet depression in which we prepare ourselves to bid farewell to our loved one.

Acceptance – This is the final stage of grief which is shown by withdrawal and calm, and ultimately leads to us accepting the death of our loved one, and learning how to adapt to life without them.


Is there a need Professional Help if grief dose not get better? You may not be able to accept the loss. Specialists will call this “complicated grief.” It is best that you talk to your doctor or get refred to doctor or a therapist if you have any of the following:

Trouble keeping up your normal daily routine, such as going to work, cleaning the house, eating.
Feelings of depression -Thoughts that life isn’t worth living, or thoughts of harming yourself
Any inability to stop blaming yourself

A doctor or a therapist can help you explore your emotions. They can teach you by coping skills and help you manage your grief. If you’re depressed, a doctor may be able to prescribe medicines to help you feel better.

If you are in deep emotional pain, you it can be tempting to try to numb your feelings with drugs, alcohol, food, or even taking on a lot of work. You need to be careful as these are temporary escapes that won’t make you heal faster or feel better in the long run. If not addressed correctly they can lead to addiction, depression, anxiety or lead up a emotional breakdown.

As an alternative, try these things to help you come to terms with your loss and begin to heal:

Go easy on yourself and give yourself time. Accept your feelings and know and understand that grieving is a process.

Spend time and talk with friends and family. Don’t isolate yourself as this will not help.

Take care of yourself. If you can go do some exercise regularly, eat well, and get sufficient sleep to stay healthy and energized.

It you have hobbies or activities that bring you pleasure, get back them. Join a support group if you feel you need to. Speak and share with others who are also grieving. It can help you feel more connected.

I trust that this helps you. Feel free to leave comments or suggestions, and hit the endorsement button on Facebook. Thanks for reading.

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Restwithdignity.com is the first and leading Online Memorial that not only provides a fully customisable online Memorial but also provides a hardcover Book of Condolence. Personal messages that are left on the Online memorial website will be then placed within the book. This allows the grieving party not only to have a digital presence for the deceased, but also have and to hold physical book to keep fond memories of.

Rest With Dignity
Rest With Dignity
restwithdignity.com

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Death and the future with social media. What next!

The title says it all in the new world that we are now living in. How do you know when a good friend or family member has passed? What happens when your favorite celebrity dies, president ..or for people that have served their country in the Military or institutional like?

Chances are that you will get notified either by a phone call, by email, anything on the social media platform, or on the News if they are Famous person. Your natural reaction is that you will want to leave your personal message of condolence.



This but where do you with you go to leave your personal messages of Condolence. Facebook or Twitter ? You can, but then any of your messages that you leave a will be lost in and around other unwanted notifications and surrounded by advertisements. And someone in future coming to Facebook thinking that they are still alive and leave a comment. Not forgetting that, the upset partner, friend or family members have no access to deceased Facebook Account to state that they have passed away. And have nothing to show.

The arrival and a rise of dedicated Online Memorials is here, and will play an important part of our lives, and which had started as early back in the mid 90’. Online memorials provide a chance to have a dedicated online Memorial celebrating the life of the person who passed away, to tell their stories, experiences, life lessons and share photos of their lives.

The use of online memorials is being used for two main reasons:

Number 1. Online memorial is a fixed location where you, family, friends and fans can visit to share stories and photographs and comfort one another and grieve. The memorial can remain online for life (or a specific period of time) allowing people to visit and contribute any time in the privacy of their own space.
Number 2 and yet importantly acting as a funeral notification and invite as well. This will definitely help and accommodate the family members, friends and fans who are scattered around the country or the rest of the world who couldn’t attend the funeral. (Let that be public or private.)
Restwithdignity.com has been found on the belief that all beings have a unique and individualistic story to tell, and should be given the chance to celebrate and leave behind a lasting legacy to be remembered by family and friends.

Restwithdignity.com is the first and leading Online Memorial that not only provides a fully customisable online Memorial but also provides a hardcover Book of Condolence. Personal messages that are left on the Online memorial website will be then placed within the book. This allows the grieving party not only to have a digital presence for the deceased, but also have and to hold physical book to keep fond memories of.

For more information, please go to. www.restwithdignity.com or www.facebook.com/restwithdignity/

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How to write a Condolence message

Writing a condolence note can be very difficult. What do you put or say?! Expressing your feelings and finding the right words is often a struggle, especially when death occurs. However, such demonstrations of love and respect – showing how a loved one positively affected the lives of others – can bring great comfort and support to the bereaved, who may keep the letters or the Condolence Book for years and read them over and over again.

The purpose of a sympathy letter is to honour the life of the deceased and to support the bereaved, and the best letters are those that come from the heart – with personal memories, simply expressed.

Write rather than type your letter, and keep it short. Try to put yourself in the place of the person who is grieving, and think about what would help you in the same situation. While there are no “rules” about writing letters of condolence, it can help to structure your letter to organise your thoughts.

1.Extend your condolences to other members of the family or the community with sincerely.
2.Acknowledge the loss – say how you heard the news and what your personal reaction was,
3.Don’t dwell on the cause of death or any previous pain and suffering.
4.Define your relationship with the deceased, how you felt about them, and what you will miss about them.
5. Share your own memories of the deceased – a personal story which shows what you liked about them or highlights one of their unique strengths or qualities.
6. Close with an expression of affection and support.

Remember you are like an artist facing a large, blank canvas. Once that first brush stroke of paint has been applied, the picture begins to take shape. Below are some Condolence Notes for you to follow.

a. We are sorry for your loss. (NAME), was such a great person, (HE/SHE) will live on in our memories forever.
b. I was deeply saddened by the news of (NAME’s) passing. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
c. We/I are/am deeply saddened by the news of (Name of deceased) passing. Our/My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
d. We were co-workers of (NAME). Words cannot express our sorrow. The office won’t be the same without (HIM/HER).
e. I/We am/are deeply saddened by the loss of your (insert relationship of bereaved to deceased here). He/she will be truly missed and I/we will include him/her in my/our daily prayers.

Yet, it will be a very good idea to refrain (not to use) from using some of the common clichés, as this can offend their giving party.

1. “I know how you feel.” You should not say this unless you really have had a similar experience. Also, grief is different for everybody. Even if you have had a similar experience, it may be better simply to say, “I, too, have lost a son, and I’m so sorry.”

2. “They are in a better place.” This may be meant to be reassuring. Though this statements like this can come across as hollow that neither comfort the bereaved, nor convey genuine feeling.

3. “He’s/ She’s at peace now.” As above a similarly hollow statement which is not really or hardly helpful to a parent/ sibling or partner after the suicide death of their loved one. Their response could be: “I know he/she isn’t in pain now, but I/ we has passed their pain on to us and now we have to live with it.”

4. “Put this behind you and get on with your life.” What life!? Such “guidance” is hard to hear when the meaning of life is suddenly unclear. After a death, the bereaved often must redefine who they are and how they fit into the scheme of things.

5. “Call if you need anything.” It becomes obvious to the bereaved that people use this phrase to get themselves off the hook. The bereaved will probably not call.
Feel free to leave comments or suggestions, and hit the endorsement button on Facebook. Thanks for reading.
How to write a Condolence message
How to write a Condolence message
restwithdignity.wordpress.com

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How to choose an Online Memorial and what to expect.

When you selecting an Online memorial, you will be selecting and sending a powerful message to the world of what the deceased stood for and what status they had. You also need to see what you are getting. But you will also how you show how you valued them. Is that you are just getting standard Online Memorial, are you also getting a physical book of condolence which you can hold and keep or pass on,

Below are key pointers

Professional lay Options.
This is to the look and feel for the whole site. Are their options where you can choose from. Such as a book lay out where one can page thought, or is there a time line option where you scroll done. Whatever options you are provided, the following is needed.

Photo caption area to show the image
Date of Birth and Date of Death,
A caption to leave a Eulogy which is in praise of the deceased.
A caption where family, friends and the wider community can leave their personal messages of condolence.
2. Customisation

One key and vital point is can you change the theme of the Online memorial. Can you change the back-ground image from Flowers to a religious symbol, or to Mountain view …or even to an image or symbol that the deceased treasured most? At the same time, can you change the image at any time.

Account set up & Security (Administration)
Look for a site where you can login with an either Gmail or face book. If not do, they provide another option to sign in. Once you in your account is the dashboard easy to use. Dose it shows where you must upload phots, save or change text. You may also want to see if you have the power to see what messages people have left. If so see if you can change the text, or block unwanted and unexpected comments.

Communication.
Once you have created the customised Online memorial, who do you inform every one or the selected few. Firstly, there must be an option to you to choose from. Are you going to have this communicated in a private close circle of family and friends? Or would you want your community (public) to know and help celebrate the life of the deceased. Once you have made your chose for Public or Private, you will need Secondly see if you can communicate this via a Gmail, face book or tweeter. This way you can get the message out.

…. finally, a book and additional features
Having a Once the site is up, is there a feature where a yearly or bio year (every 2nd year) e mail that can automatically be sent for you. This is hat genteel reminder of the anniversary and if it your site is associated with a charity or cause. This can then help bring this charity or cause back to everyone reminder and to take some form of action. If you are getting a book of Condolence is it part of the package deal? Is postage part of it?! If so when dose it arrive? A quality Online memorial will provide this all for you.

If all the above 5 key pointers match up to your expectations. You will then platform for you to use with full confidence and set up in your own time.

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Promoting valuable causes with Online Memorial

When a celebrity passes away, their will naturally be a better outpouring of grief and people wanting to leave messages of condolences. This is an area we media agents /PR agents/international organisations have the opportunity to present themselves as good corporate citizens or even as a true global citizens in providing a an dedicated online Memorial website with the purpose.

This past week, such a case happened where international rugby organisation had one of them key players pass away. Joost van der Westhuizen, the legendary number 9 rugby player passed away due to motor neuron disease (MND) disease. The South African Rugby union (SARU), to get upon themselves to be the first international sport organisation to lead and place a dedicated online Memorial for one of the key players from the 1995 Rugby World Cup final. This allowed the public to post their own messages of condolences to Joost and his family.

The overwhelming positive response to SARU has been exceedingly supportive and presented SARU as an organisation in an even more favourable public opinion, due to this simple but highly effective kind gesture. Especially highlighting Joost foundation.

The online memorial site allowed the van der Westhuizen family and SARU the opportunity to bring to attention and highlight the serious effects that MND. As well as allowing them to mention the foundation that Joost set up http://www.joost.co.za .

The J9 Foundation was formed in aid of those suffering from the same form of fatal illness that Joost was diagnosed with early 2011, Motor Neuron Disease. Joost has created this platform through this foundation to allow people, companies and friends to support the quality of life programs available within this organization.

The J9 Foundation’s core objectives are to contribute to research in Africa and raise awareness, both locally and internationally for Motor Neuron Disease with the intent of teaching people about the disease who will then, in turn, support efforts across the globe to find a cure or cause.

A lot of condolences had either been tweeted or placed on Facebook messaging services or on other numerous unofficial sporadic fan base Facebook set up sites which will never be maintained or will be remembered. These are messages are lost now in the digital cloud, and will be not be highlighting the great successes that he had what legacy he has left behind with his foundation . With the online Memorial for Joost . It is a permanent and dedicated presence where people can at their own private comfort and time view and read other people’s messages of condolence and leave their own. Not forgetting that they can also contribute and donate to a good cause.

The online memorial is another tunnel of communication in bringing valuable causes to wider community attention long after the celebrity has passed on.

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