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i need someone to talk to. I have several ppl already to talk to. but it doesn't help. Nothing helps. The only thing that sometimes helps can't happen. I can't handle the pain anymore. I need all the pain to be removed i wanna die now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't take the pain anymore. And since i don't have a gun i can't kill myself fast enough . So i have to live in this hell where every second gets a trillion million times worse. people say it will be ok that it will get better but no. That isn't true , it never is. I just want all this constant pain gone. I wanna die now

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The World Health Organisation rates #depression as the leading cause of disease burden amongst high-income countries. 

Hey everyone!!!! I am sorry I haven't posted - or updated - anything. I was really busy with GCSE's!!!! I passed with a mix of results (mainly C's) but I have to re-take maths, which I'm cool with :D

ALSOOOO......I started at CAMHS!!!! I really like it. My friend - lets call him Bob - told me a while ago that his doctor said that CAMHS wasn't very good and that they take ages to see you. Not gonna lie....it's true. I waited about 6 months then had an appointment; it was great, but the guy I spoke to said that he wouldn't say anything to my mum (she went outside so that me and him could talk), and he didn't. But...then I got a letter home with ALL of the crap that I had told him. I got home before my mum and read it (which I was glad for). But it didn't put them in a shining light. There was no warning that a letter was coming to my home, and no warning of what would be in it. My mum was understanding and didn't push me to tell her anything I didn't want to. Then I had to wait about 3 months for another appointment....with a DIFFERENT person!!!! I hadn't been told that the guy had left. So I waited and then I met this new woman (the one I see now) she apologised to me and my mum for how we were treated, then apologised to me again when it was just me and her.

After all of that CAMHS was great. It has helped me a lot and I have only had about 6 or 7 meetings. I don't mean 'helped me a lot' like, "OMG, I'm talking to random strangers with ease!!!!", I mean it as in "Hey, this has gotten better and I have noticed a positive change in myself". I even applied to about 6 jobs yesterday - IN PERSON O.O

Now, I realise that - if you are about to start CAMHS - then this will make you nervous, or make you not want to go. Honestly, I didn't write this so that it would have that effect. I wanted to be honest about my experience and let you know that it may not go smoothly, or may have a lot of hitches. But trust me - I am sitting behind a keyboard writing this because I obviously care, and I want to tell you all the truth - CAMHS, or any form of counselling will help. You just have to find the right person, give it some time, and open up to them. Make them earn your trust!!!!

A lengthy speech from Kara!!!! Sorry (NOT) :D 

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These were part of a project I did for one of my GCSE coursework books. It is a dark subject matter and it represents mental illness and not being able to speak out. Or just needing help in general. Hope many of you find inspiration! For future warning I have many pictures that are emotional and newer ones that could be described as disturbing and dark. So do not look at more if it will trigger anything :)
PhotoPhotoPhotoPhotoPhoto
8 Photos - View album

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I also have a Photography/art blog on Tumblr - only original photography at the moment. It is based on mental illness and dark images. It also includes original quotes and ones that I have heard, my artwork, an artist or two that have inspired me for my work, poetry, and just words about photography. My aim is - like with music - to help heal people or give them inspiration through photos as well as other things. Music, photos and words are what mean a lot to me so I would like to share them with everyone! :) I have to warn that my photography - and poetry especially - could be a trigger for some people as it has been described as "dark", "scary", "disturbing" and a multitude of other things. It could pack a punch for certain people O.O

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I also have a mental health blog on Tumblr that I recently set up, there isn't a lot on there, but I hope to add more soon to spread awareness and comfort through a wider range of social media :) I am trying to cover this community first so that I'm not doing too many things at once!

'You Are Stronger Today, Than You Were Yesterday...'

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I would like to help people who are suffering. I find that many people find music healing. I know I did - it was one of the first things I turned to as well as my journal. I have a YouTube channel and I will be adding more covers this week. I hope you enjoy them! Don't be afraid to share, comment, rate and subscribe. I don't bite :)
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