πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ™†πŸ™†πŸ™† Tres bien! Sooooo freaking happy to have found this, thanks to being subbed to someone else. Vera, Vera kewl Camus.. Beckett... I believe I am in super hyper-excited mode with a bit of relief. I'd searched yt regarding these two, for different reasons from each other, and found little I was exactly inspired by. Maybe my search strings sucked , I don't know. Thankfully, he did a link drop as reference.

... I'll probably watch this ten times :p ο»Ώ

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I come back to this song frequently... My god is gorgeous!

For self - preservations sake, I'm backing off of political discussion. Taking a break from piling on the anxiety. My g+ feed had become page after page of articles, many bordering on hysterical, and calls to action. I've been in action. Plenty. And I feel the burn out.

So if you notice my absence, there's your explanation. I'm not enjoying the video making much and am thinking about turning it around a little anyway. I just don't have much vigor for anything and pretty uninspired in general. And I have to be mindful of that. Not to mention my real life is grinding my gears a bit. I need to make some changes, some of them big, and try to find my way, not to sound grotesquely sentimental but, 'find my way back to myself'. Death and grief have been my closest companions for some time and I don't like to be ungrateful, but I'm tired of their company.


Dear Anyone,
Don't ask for my email. I don't do email. Ever.

For one, is virtually obsolete. For two, well, I forget what two is. So yeah, there ya go.

Onwards and upwards(meh, to much effort). Or downwards (always fun)... Or sideways (rarely)...

I am NOT:
Looking for Sex
Looking for RomanticRelationship:OfAnyKind;
Looking for Gossip (😠...gfy w/ that);
Looking for Dick Pics
Looking for a new BFF
Looking to join a cult/political party/lease/church/mosque/temple/association/organization
Looking for a "government job", or any job offer sans your offered and searchable CV, wink.
Looking for ANYTHING.

Never, ever, ever approach a Phoenix with assumption, disregard or disrespect. Bad. Idea.


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Dear diary... remind me to get back to this :P
So Microsoft bought LinkedIn - looking for an alternative way to showcase your skills / experience? Check out #Sumry - I really like the layout and interface - super simple to use and gets the job done nicely. Give it a go or take a look at mine here to see what it looks like - even works on mobile nicely: https://sumry.me/jasonmayes

God gods but I've had a helluva back and forth going lately. Good thing it's with someone I think is alright but holey moley he's tenacious as all get out. That's ok. But, it got way too personal. And that's not ok.

Some of it made me pretty mad. I'm not any kind of political junkie really, even though I keep my eye on this or that thing.

But today I was truing to create a short note expansion for teaching someone in my neighborhood hexadecimal math and conversions and shit. Them my phone would buzz Ann's there's homeboy in upside Downland strafing my ass again. Well, maybe he just misses flying or something.

Nobody has ever caused me to go full caps lock on their ass, with cursing. You know, like GOD DAMN IT!

I can't decide what to do here. Why is it so hard for people to understand you can love your country, love your homeland, call yourself 'patriotic' and NOT be a fascist thug? And NOT be a homophobic racisy? And NOT hate Women or Olds or undocumented workers? I want the word back! I want it back for the majority of Americans who do love the United States. I like that word "United" and I want it to mean something. And not just to ourselves,, but slso to our neighbors in the global hood here. I would rather they respect us, not quake and shiver. It just causes more metciless, reactionary billshit.

So, it truly bothers me that things are to the point that the crazies stole the idea of patriotism for themselves and left everyone else with Unease. It's like having to tick off 'Other'.

I'm not a child here. I'm not interested in connecting with that. To me, the tubes are a lot of young people reflecting the fear and panic and behavior in the Adult world and to many Adults, instead of seeing this and getting together to stabalize shit, go purposely sit at the kids table. Which, really? Have some self-respect for gods sakes. It's embarrassing.

And my back and forth with this friend, it for me thinking while I d scribbling these duly formulas out. Im making a "notes" video for a friend a few states away so she can replay it. And part of it is just goofing around for me, and I need a lot more of that than I have had. I am seriously headed to the Phillipines in about 3 weeks, so. I may never come back. I might jog around Indo for awhile and sock up in a room and drink myself blind even though I don't drink.

After that, I'll go die penniless in Spain. Romantic, no? 😊

I have found some of this kind of amusing, but in general very time consuming. That's okay though as I have it to kill.

There have been some upsides. I was able to confirm anyone who claims to be a "pacifist" is 100% fos. I always knew that, but found it very curious that anyone other than some moist-eyed high school boy could believe in the first place.

Isn't it curious how quickly this position falls apart under just a little closer examination? How often they'll become violent fairly quickly? I've gone back and forth with the two I've met before and it doesn't take much to see how really insincere they are.

Now, this phenomenon kind of remind me if how the bad journalists work. They take a picture, and then build a story around that picture that, without the journalistic spin, you'd know is innocuous.

I did this myself. THROW UP some images, never say a thing directly, and wait for the blood thirsty mind to SEIZE on it, build a narrative about you, more than likely spreading it around because it's exciting and they are sharks, and damn the truth, full speed ahead to try to sink you because, pacifists

Isn't it ironic how many Greens are tied to certain political interests down the road? Bit, you know... Peace, man! 😁

14 shot, 5 officers killed in Dallas...

So some talking head on the radio days that this crime to share the crime of police brutality is the rain police need to be in battle gear and use assault vehicles etc...

No, wrong dickhead. Look at your own news footage. What do you see?

95% of the police are white men with buzzcut hair in the fashion of neo-nazis.

It is the police departments who have failed to interact WITHOUT AGGRESSIVE POSTURING AND PERPETUAL SUSPICION OF THE PEOPLE IN THE COMMUNITIES THEY SERVE! That is the problem and it started getting worse years ago.

The people in the communities then internalize that these mostly white and male authority figures don't trust them and think they're only ever up to no good. It's just one more later odd reminders.

You're public relations has sucked turkey while your supply departments have found all the money in the world to outfit the police as if THEY are in a war zone. Hmmm, might that be because you recruit vets fresh hoome from theater who've gone through no ptsd examinations? And so you get fill to the brim in your forces with former military personnel saying things like,"Hey, we used to use this and that in theater. It's super effective.", and then it's acquired and you begin to look more and more like storntroopers.

Meanwhile, got are walking around like that in a community of people who DON'T have bulletproof anything on, DON'T have tasers and cspsaicin and handguns and back up and SWAT to come witness then being executed ON THE SPOT. That is ABSOLUTELY a militaristic decision, NOT a Civilian environment one.

Everyone, on both sides, needs to...

Stop. Fucking.Rationalizing.

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