This is a brief excerpt from a novel that I currently started working on. This character is a retail employee in the modern society that deals with strong and unstable emotions. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

Today I woke up wondering why I am not where I want to be in life. I couldn't find an answer and it hurt me to my core. I don't know how much longer I can keep wondering around like this. I fear that it might get the best of me and I will not be able to control the actions to follow. I'm scared. I want to find my purpose and it feels like time is finding down and I don't know where this road is leading me. Have I reached the highest peak of my life or have I fallen into a pit of depression? Am I even happy anymore? All these question keep pounding my head like a jackhammer on a New York street! HELP ME!

Calm down. Relax. Put yourself together this instant before you fully collapse. You're awake but your allowing your raw subconscious to take control. We don't want that to happen, understand? Ok, now slowly breathe in and breathe out. Remember who you are and where you want to be.

The customer walks up to my register with a basket full of items that make no sense as they do not correlate to one another. She must be crazy or somethingI thought. I politely and calmly open my stupid mouth and say,
"Hi. How are you today? Did you find everything you were looking for?"

I miss...
My old house in the south of the city,
The tight space and how crowded it was...
I miss my five siblings...
Always getting into scuffles over the tv, the music they played too loud and mom shouting "turn it down..."
I miss my mom telling me to turn off my game.
I miss...
My blue bike with the training wheels, the tan and brown school down the road.
I miss...
Waiting for summer to come, the blazing sun beating my skin til it sweat.
I miss being afraid to wake up early on a Saturday because my sister would anger if we woke her.
I miss...
My moms pancakes for breakfast, her late lunches and early dinners.
I miss missing her when she went to work.
And I miss wondering when she would come home...
I miss...
Falling and scraping my knees, making a pool with the hose and playing with the neighbors.
I miss all of my old friends, the ones I lost contact with.
I miss wishing I was a grown up and done with school.
I miss wishing to work to buy my own things.
I miss all of it...
I miss my childhood...
No. Actually,
I just miss my Mom.

"You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you."
-Ray Bradbury, Zen in the Art of Writing

I've been trying to figure out what's the earliest memory that I can recollect from my life. I've been going at it for years without any success.
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