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Passing Tips for #FTM Transgender Men ...

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The modern cis #dating market is almost a Mad-Max ...

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Okay so.....this is probably going to be really long as it's a long story to explain......
Anyways I will start from the beginning.....
So at the beginning of 2015 my parents gave me a phone, this of course led me to explore the gayness of YouTube as I thought that I was bisexual at the time. Anyways I love short films to death so I was watching some about the LGBT+ when I stumbled upon another short film. It wasn't the title or anything that caught my attention but the thumbnail that it was showing me, it showed a transgender guy (who I thought was a girl before I watched it) standing in front of a mirror in his bathroom holding his long hair back so the reflection made it look like he had short hair. And my first thought was "Hey I relate to that!" As I have always wanted short hair and so I saw no harm in clicking on the video. And I started watching the short film called "BOY" and after the first minute I was already sucked into this video. So I was hooked the first scene as it showed him shopping with his mom at a store and his mom is looking at all these dresses for him well he is more interested in the boys section, that basically described my life right there. But what got me even more was that the boys birthname was Emilie which is scary close to my birth name and so I connected with this character instantly. And as I continued to watch this short film my brain was just relating so much. Anyways later on in the film his mom begs him to wear this dress she picked out for him for dinner that they were going to have with some old friends and he just ignores her and goes to his friends house and latter comes back fifteen minutes before the guest will show up. And we'll he is in the bathroom he makes a decision and doesn't wear the dress and snips at his hair before hiding the rest of it in a beanie. Anyways he walks down and everyone is already sitting and his mom tries to pull of a lame excuse saying he has an illness and the friends mom asks what and he intrups his mom saying it was called transgender. And that's basically when it hit me, hard. And so after I finished that video I stayed up all night just doing research and by the end of the day all of it made since. And so by the end of 2015 I came to the conclusion that I was transgender.
And that scared me to death cause,
1. My parents are Mormon and that religion hates touching the subject of the LGBT+ so that rarely comes up in conversation.
2. I already knew their personal opinion and it wasn't that upbeat towards the LGBT+
3. I am terrified of my dad.
So I just stayed silent. I didn't even talk to people online, I just cried a lot and watched other trans guys on YouTube.
Fast forward to 2016, the year I first stepped into satins backyard, junior high. That year was pure hell and My already severe depression got worst and by the time 2017 came around and I was in eighth grade I had already started self harming. So after surviving 2017 this year came around and on February 2 I basically cried my eyes out in front of my best friend as I came out to her. She is very accepting and would be nowhere with out her. Anyways exactly ten days later my counselor had me come out to my mom. My mom was shocked. And no joke after she asked me why I felt that we she turned to my counselor and asked if this was because of the internet and I stormed out of that office that instant. And from there everything went down hill. Let's just say like EVERY night my mom would pull me aside and have a big talk with me. Which I just completely despise as my mouth has never been one to get my emotions out and I am terrible at explaining so those never end well. Anyways two months later I came out to my dad on accident and he took it....not so well. Anyways here I am, almost been out for five months and my relationship has never been worse with my parents. Oh! By the way they took my phone away the moment they figured out and I am actually typing this on my sisters phone at midnight! Anyways it hurts. Just plain out hurts. They act like I want to transition RIGHT NOW!!!! When I just want the right name and pronouns. In fact I don't even know if I want to take testosterone in the future. I just want my real name and pronouns....Hell I don't even want a binder as I have gotten two through a friend! But I want to tell my parents this but I don't know how to.... But yeah that's me.....

Oh and one more thing, tonight I tried to kill myself for the second time this year. My parents don't know that I have suicidal thoughts as I can no longer trust them and I think that I belong in a mental hospital or something but I just have no idea how to tell them. In a way my family is no longer my family anymore.....

Okay that's all! Thank you so much if you read this far!

Hello!
Hi! My name is Jackson!
I am a ftm 14 year old boy, so I go by male pronouns!
Truth be told I am just a lame person who loves terrible puns and lame jokes and gets lost in drawing and comic books....
Also I am pansexual!
Okay that is all that I can think of!!!

Um... hi my birth name's Tru... i am ftm transgender and experience a lot of dysphoria.

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Feeling pretty good right now!
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