do you ever do something mildly impolite like not give a nice goodbye or not hold a door open for someone and spend the rest of the day thinking about it

I don't want to die
I just want.....
to not exist for a while

I do love life though.
The world is always in vibrant color to me.
An unspoken joy.

I feel as if I have no heart.
Not in a vain teenager hate the world way.
I just can't empathize the way I think I should?

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Humans are social creatures.
But I don't mind the silence.
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