I'm gonna go see star wars again with my family gonna walk around the theater and say Han solo dies XD

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Ok. I know this aint a joke, but I couldnt help but post this. XD

Daughter: I can't marry him, Mother. He's
an athiest and doesn't believe
there's a hell.
Mother:Marry him, my dear, and between
us we may convince him that he's
wrong.

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

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A man dies, and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and starts talking to them.
"You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money."
Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes."

Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

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Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

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Q: Why do men find it hard to make eye contact with women?

A: Tits don't have eyes.

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What did the blonde say when the airplane began to shake?

"Must be an earthquake."

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Q: Why does the blonde keep a wire coat hanger in the backseat of her car?
A: In case she locks her keys inside.
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