Post is pinned.
you know guys, you are allowed to post on here or comment,it's free ya know, I just feel like only me and my friend post on here, I'm not complaining but you know (v-_-v) I would like to see other peoples storys.......

gimme a random story idea and I'll do it. Kinda bored and shet will happen. I'll try to make it like really long XD so gimme fackinng ideas and I'll see what I'll come up with XP

Attack on Titan

Chapter 54 to 57 because lol. IDC

Seriously though.... curse this name calling... um...... HOW TO DISRESPECT AN OLD FUCKER. There we go :)

YUM YUM YUM! HANGRY!!!!!! Sheeeeet I Hangry. I sat down at the table and my stomach growled again. I suppose it's my fault for not eating properly today.
"Someones hungry"
"It's called being HANGRY!" I stated.
"Have you eaten anything at all today?" Hanji asked me with concern in her voice.
"Umm..... No?" I say a little guiltily.
"Geez Cass, you need to look after yourself more. That's not good for you" She was almost scolding me for not eating.
"I know, I know just I wasn't hungry."
"It's bad enough you don't eat breakfast as well."
"I've never eaten breakfast. If I'm really hungry then I might have something to eat in the mornings."
That's when Erwin came in and decided to sit next to me. Ew! Get away from me old creep! So I got up and sat the other side of the table. I ain't sitting next to hi- it.

A few more people came in and sat down and everything got placed and shet. So I'm eating and it's situation awkward. A feeling of uneasiness washed over me and I dropped my fork.
"Shit." I curse under my breath and pick it up again.
That's when Sophie got up and left. Good idea. This is way too awkward. I mean no body was saying anything!!!! Anyone say something!!!!!!
"I'll go talk to her" Hanji says as she gets up.
Thanks for leaving me with two guys Hanji! Fuck you too! Silence again. I don't like this.
"Sooo...." I started to say and I feel 2 pair of eyes on me. "How's everyone?"
"Pretty good." Of course you are Levi, of course you are.
Erwin stays quiet and sheeeeeeeeet.
"naneun igeos-eul joh-ahaji anhneunda." (Translation: I don't like this)
"How is it that you can speak... you know?" Erwin asks.
"Korean?"
He nods slightly.
"Well I lived in Korea for 8 years of my life. I'm surprised I still know the language" I explained.
"I see."
"Welp this has gotten too awkward I'm off." I practically said that really fast running off somewhere. Fuck the Corps coming straight from the underground! Oopps.... Levi is a Survey Corps and he came from the underground. Well shit. Meh, I gotta go look through a few things anyway. My box of good old memories.

I opened the box from under the bed and rummaged through a few things.
"Hey! I remember this! My plush I was emotionally attached to! I brought it everywhere with me!" I exclaimed talking to no one in particular.
I moved a few more things and found a red spinner. These are so outdated. I spun it a little and threw it somewhere. I next picked up a hairclip that was a wing. Kinda looked like the hope part of the wings of freedom. I found a few other bits and bobs like a special ribbon and an angel with the gem of the month I was born in and a few random collectibles. That's when I came across a photo album. I remember this photo album. Contains pictures of me, my friends and family. Oh how I miss everyone. I just want them back. Go back to how things were. I opened the photo album and saw the first photo of me with my group of friends. I slammed the book shut and covered my mouth.
"I'm so sorry guys.. I feel it's my fault..." I felt tears threaten to fall and I quickly wiped them away placing everything back in and placing it back under the bed. That's enough today. No more.....

I flopped on the bed and screamed into the pillow.

attack of the titans

chapter 57

I sat at the table writing in my Diary when who was to walk in but horseface.
"you looked pissed, what happened?" Jean asked as he took and apple and bit into it and I just rolled my eyes.
"Titans! I fucking hate them! I will kill them all!"
"are you making an Eren impression sophie?"
"yes"
"why?"
"because Eren thinks I'm sadistic"
"what are you writing?"
"oh just my thoughts"
"can i see?"
"no"
I got up and stretched my legs went numb, I had been sat for too long. I look over at jean and he said he was just going to go toilet and then we could continue this conversation i nodded and looked at the window and watched the bird as he left, but when i looked back he had too my Diary, fuck! I can't be asked right now, I'll go have a look. I opened a random door and saw Erwin, he smiled suspiciously.
"how may I help you?" he asked still with a nerving look on his face.
I just rolled my eyes and went into the next room.
"Eren! have you seen jean, cause I swear on the fucking moon i'll kill him."
"Horseface? Can't say I have. He was here a couple hours ago but I don't know where he got to after." he shrugged.
"oh great! when i fins him he will pay for what he did! grr, he's such a horse face. I bet he's so happy right now! for fuck sake!"
"May I ask, what in the world did he do to make you this pissed?" he asked a little nervously.
"eren i'm always pissed off. tch. so we were having this conversation right, about titans and he just goes I made a jean impression ""i'm just gonna go to the loo" so i was like yeah whatever and then I realised he took my fucking diary with him because i was writing with it and he has ran off somewhere with it but he left me waiting too and I hate waiting!"
"Ah. Shit. Sucks to be you right now. Who knows what kind of personal shit is in there." he
"i mostly complain in it to be honest but obviously there is personal shit in it. I mean i wrote down my darkest deepest secrets and thoughts, ya know!
!Yeah, I understand why you'd want to keep it secret. We all have our darkest secrets that we don't want to share. And knowing Horseface he'll share it with a lot of people if you don't find him soon and threaten him. If he has read it so far. I mean, it works for me.!
!I mean I guess I could use marco puns. marco pizza. OHHHH this will be fun. I'll make him suffer. goes dark for a moment and then smiles happily like an innocent child he he he. How are you eren? anyway....!
"Oooohhhhhh, Marco's Pizza...!"he Drools a little and then wipes it away "heh, I'm good, hows you?"
"i'm good good. Erwin is starting to creep me out so I'm keeping an eye on him. heh. yeah. he's definitely not all there, ya know?"
"Yeah, I'm not sure how I feel about Erwin coming back into the picture. I mean was the commander but he's just randomly came back into the picture and I don't know how to feel about that."
"and he attacked cassie and me but ya know," I whispered in his ear "he tried to kill case. and we both know cassie is our number one priority. right?" I moved away again. his eyebrows furrow into an angry expression
"Yeah. I heard he did. Luckily she's alright. Apart from a gash to the leg." he Lightens up a little "I swear we treat her as if she were our baby and we're just trying to protect her when she doesn't need us."
"yeah true, to be honest she's the one protecting us but mentally we both know she needs help. she goes through a lot in that head of hers, ya know."
"Sometimes I wonder what she's thinking about. I'm not a mind reader but I can tell something's going on. She would space out sometimes and when I'd ask her about it she'd shake it off. I want to help but I can't if Cass doesn't talk to me."
"It's just, I don't know everything that has happened to her I know some things and until she is comfortable with telling you I can't say anything but just look after her. she's worth it. Once she does open up she's an amazing person to be around, well even more amazing. I mean she acts cold and as if she doesn't care and as if everything is okay but ya know on the inside she's quite soft."
"Hmm... What was she like? Ya know, before shit happened?"
"just so, soft and very patient, ya know the really nice happy person. who doesn't give a shit what you say about her because bitch she's fabulous." he chuckles a little
"but something made that change. And that change has scarred her for life. I doubt she'll go back to the person she was before."
"no she won't. it's sad but not everything is a downer maybe with time she'll get better, she'll never go back but the scars will fade and she'll get better, someone will make that happen for her, who ever it'll be, I recon I know someone who could do that but the question is if they're alive. "
"I wish I knew her before the shit that happened, happened. I just hope that she finds her happiness from whoever she finds it from. I just want her to be happy. I know she's searching but what she's searching for could be alive or dead, we don't know but it's always worth searching for. Even if it does lead to a dead end."I sighed
" hey it's not all bad news. right. I mean there's no proof that they are dead, I mean we never saw the body so.....yeah! I recon they're alive! it's worth a go! I think we should act on this little bit of hope, I mean it's just a bit but I'm going to hold onto it as tightly as I can, as if I was holding a fire fly! right eren?"
"Hmm... She mentioned that it was strange seeing only 1 body. It's like she was expecting there to be more than one. She didn't seem too pleased about it either so it makes me question whether she hates someone in the family or not..
she does but I wouldn't mention it to er and I won't go into detail either for her privacy reasons, ya know?"
"I respect her privacy but there's too many questions without enough answers.
look i can't give you answers, so i do apologise but i can confirm that she needs you more than anything."
"Yeah, I respect that. It's fine. Cass needs people to rely on. Just so she can relax a little and feel comfortable talking about whatever going on in her head. I want to do that for her. It's the least I can do."
"see, you're a good boyfriend to cass, aren't ya?" I ruffled his hair in a friendly way "maybe we can get on after all, he he."
"Yeah, maybe we can. I'm glad we have it a go" he smiled and I smiled back and punches his shoulder playfully "he he. I'm sure cass will be pleased we're finally getting along....I just realised with have a lot of things in common...ehh hem here's a list: we both hate jean, we both really care about cass, we both have a thing with titans, we both get angry easily, we both get ordered about by levi and we both have to deal with hanjis crazy shit. heh." he shivers
"don't even remind me about Hanji. I hear she still wants to do experiments on me. I ain't doing diddly squat for her."
"awe. me and cass will protect you. he he. but hey i warn you if she does get her hands on you i may join in." I winked and joked. we joked about for a bit longer, maybe he wasn't so grumpy after all.

attack of the titans

chapter 56

:))))

I walked over to my squad to try and calm them down. But they all looked at me as if it was my fault the girl wasn;t fast enough, gee sorry. don't want to die, don't join, simple right? Shai's body had been wrapped up and ready to burn and the group just glared. Yuki was still calm and uncaring at the back all though I can tell he is hurting a lot. Ringo just crossed her arms and walked up in a threatening way and I straightened up,
"eh, did you even try to save her!? Look you don't even care, what do you even have to say for yourself!?" her facial expression became dark and I sighed. I can't be asked for this shit, I'll just act as if I actually care and walk off.
"look we tried our best, she was a poor soul." I turned around and made my way in the other direction leaving them, I could see eren who was giving me this strange look yet I just ignored it. I heard sashio grunt and toby just sighed and told them to leave me be, good old toby. Eren walked over to me and sighed
"cut the bullshit." I just made a confused face as if I didn't know what he meant.
"what eren? what'ya on'about!?" he was still glaring at me
"You know exactly what I mean. Stop acting dumb." I walked a bit closer, so we were in breathing distance.
"Eren I'm not acting dumb, what the fuck!? I don't know what you're saying." I looked away and made a tch sound.
"Stop the bullshitting! You know what I'm on about or do I have to spell it out since you're that thick!?" the bastard calling me thick! did he even go to school, tch.
"I'm not thick eren! I just don't read minds! You can spell it out if you want. not that you can spell since you have the same IQ as a titan." we were now arguing like toddlers.
"Oh!? Watch me! S-T-O-P A-C-T-I-N-G L-I-K-E Y-O-U C-A-R-E."
"NANI!? EREN!? What!> You know it's not a act Eren. I do care, honestly! what do you take me for! Erwin?" I put my hands on mu hips and backed up, making my hair sway to the side a bit.
"Stop lying to yourself! I've known since day 1 that you don't care or give two shits! And maybe I do take you for another Erwin! Stop pretending to care when all you do is slump around and act! What If Cass died!? Would you care!? Or would just pretend to!?" ... that actually hurt me a bit, as if I wouldn't care when cassie died, I do care for her... I really do.
"what!? Of course I would care! Look eren I have limited amounts of room in my heart and I've already picked who to care about, cass is one of the main ones. I only care for my close friends happy!? Maybe I don't give a fuck if other people die! Are you satisfied!? I'll sacrifice my fucking humanity for humanity! Isn't that ironic!?" I growled in anger and because I was offended.
"Got there eventually." he sighed in satisfaction.
"ok ok yeah i get your point, but tell me from a scale to 1 to 10 are you satisfied. 10 being too satisfied. 1 being fuck you." I asked with high irritation in my tone.
"9.99 is satisfied. The other 0.1 actually cares about the dead person.Even if I didn't know them. Well it's mainly feeling sorry for the other cadets who actually knew them personally." oh no... he's going to give the why we should sympathise talk..oh fuck me daddy.
"I mean I don't really get attached to people if I think they'll die and I'm quite unsympathetic and a bit sadistic so yolo. it's not feeling sorry for them will get them back will it." I was honest there, why get attached to people?
"Well being supportive and helpful to them means a lot to them so shut up. You have no clue how much feeling sorry for people actually help them. It's just like laughing at a dead animal to you. It's not funny." he seemed irritated still, yeah whatever eren.
"yeah yeah, it's not that I'm ungrateful for their sacrifice or what not but sometimes you have to sacrifice what makes you human for humanity. Yeah and I get that. I blamed myself for a lot of deaths for a long time.
don't. The only persons death is own their on hands, if i die i wouldn't want anyone feeling like that, it's be my fault." I looked down at the ground and watched the rain slowly start to fall, it's winter after all. He looked away with a scowl on his face
"you don't understand. It's not surprising from someone like you. Even if you did die, I'd still feel guilty. You can't stop people from feeling like it's their fault. They will always feel like that and you can't stop it whether you want to or not"
i growled in annoyance and guilt
"look i'm sorry.I just don't understand yet I do, I blame myself for peoples deaths too until I began to let go and now for once I feel safe with myself, I guess i'm just weak for being like this." he lifted his head up and slapped me, what the fuck eren....
"You dumb shit. You're not weak. You're just dumb if you think that. People who've been through more emotional, physical and mental, are stronger than they really think. So shut up Dipshit and believe in yourself. You're not as weak as you think."
I jumped a bit
"Gee eren. i'm sorry. but I haven't been through too much, I'm just a whiny bitch, I admit it. Maybe I'm not weak, but i'm not strong either. okay." he sighed at my response, maybe he was trying to be nice, I just, I don't know maybe I'm being silly here.
"When will you realise there's more to you than meets the eye? I can tell. It's the same with Cass. Every time I try to get close to her she blocks it off and avoids the question. I'm not going to ask nor am I going to pester you about it."
I just sighed, I really am useless with these things.
"heh, you have no idea. you can judge by the cover eren, trust me it's crappy on the inside. Cassie knows real pain unlike me. You can ask away but I don't think you'd get the answers you'd wish for." harshly honest with myself.
"No. I'll save it. Right now isn't the right time for it. I can tell Cass fakes a smile everyday. I don't think I've ever seen a genuine smile from her and I have the feeling I should be the one to make her give a genuine smile. I don't why, I guess it sounds selfish but..But something tells me she'll find her happiness from someone else. Not that I mind if she did." he smiled calmly at the ground.
"as long as she fines happiness than i'll die happy, cassie is number one priority in my mind." I smiled but he was still looking at the ground, lost in his thoughts.
"I don't care who she finds it from as long as she's a happy smol bean. I think she's both our number one priority." he looked up.
"we can agree on one thing so it seems eren. I can't lie eren, I don't really see you as a friend but i don't dislike you, I mean for cassies sake i'm nice to you." he rolled his eyes.
"vise versa. But I think there's some cool chemistry between us. I think we should give it a go. If it doesn't work it doesn't work out but Cass would want us to give it a shot." he let out a thoughtful short chuckle.
"what to become friends, okay buddy sure. we can for cassie, right." I said and then made my way away from eren again.
"ok welp i'm gonna go... nice talking to ya... yup..." I walked off and sped up before I was running like a mad women, i heard a small good bye come from eren.

attack of the titans

chapter 55

shai


Since I had now calmed down from my my talk with Erwin I decided to call some cadets up: to see if anyone wanted to go have a mini scout mission with me, I needed to go collect something from the woods but titans were everywhere. Some did, some of the cadets who went with me I knew, Of course my squad came along with me too but so did Erwin, I gulped as he walked up and offered to come with us,
"okay, bushy eye brows. You can come, but you're below me in command now, since you left. Understood?" I asked and he nodded, I smirked with satisfaction. I guess it was about time I actually killed some titans with the squad, we hadn't talked much, all though toby seemed like a nice kid, eh don't ya think he is nice? I noticed that other than my squad and Erwin that Jean had decided to tag along with me and so did Armin but obviously Armin would, he's my boyfriend.

"okay guys, chop chop, time to kill titans for humanity, ya know Shinzou wo sasageyo" I sad smirking to myself and winking at Erwin, ha he lost his arm that one time. Funny, I really am a sadistic bitch. I decided to give the orders to start and we all set off like rockets in a diamond formation. I took a deep breath and tried to focus on all my senses. Don't get distracted-TITAN! I quickly pressed a button on my 3DMGear and quickly dodged it's mouth, making a clean cut on it's nape. that titan looked like some rural folks from out of town going pet shopping, oh this one looks nice honey. I chuckled at my thoughts. I looked around, everyone seems to be in check, okay, now not many titans about over here, nice trees, Erwin!? Erwin grabbed me as he glided past me and a titan slammed it's hand down in the spot i was standing merely a second ago. He placed me down on tree a branch....thanks Erwin?
"uh- thank you?" I said as I got ready to run again and he nodded and flew off quickly, slicing a titan nape. He saved me? Why would he even bother doing that, Uh thank you. I shook that off and noticed toby with a body, he seemed upset, was the person he holding alive, I think so? I must check. I quickly jumped across the tree skillfully using my 3DMGear and to toby as he sat down. He looked up, there was blood pouring from her, she was close to death, this is something I hoped I would never have to do.
"what do I do ma'am? How do I help her, look a titan just came outs nowhere and grabbed her, I think she broke her ribs, I freed her but we didn't notice her ribs and she..and I ..what do i do!?" He looked up at me hopelessly as the girls, also known as shai, one of my cadets, winced in mass amount of pain to keep all her consciousness.. I sighed. She looked up and coughed, her few seconds of consciousness.
"I.. I tried my best, was it good enough....I. tell yuki that I'm sorry I broke my promise...." She smiled ,I saluted at her and brushed her hair out of the way,
"Sweet dreams, shai" I bowed my head respectfully, as she fell asleep for eternity in Toby's arms, Toby had tears swelling in his eyes, he let them fall freely like rain. Rain because of how cold and bitter his tears were. I now understand why Eren hates these vile creatures so much. But I couldn't help but feel nothing, I'm not sure I cared actually, sure on the outside I did but I'm mostly doing this for my sake and the people I care about, I guess I have some respect for the dead at the least. I sighed and decided to sit on branch as it was getting dark. To be honest that girls death had reminded me of my sister, well step sister, I miss her a lot and I miss winter.

Yuki walked up to me with anger in his look,
"where's shai!?" He asked looking around for her and I patted the branch, to tell him to sit. I looked him in the eyes,
"shai died" He didn't cry unlike toby he just stood up and sighed,
"we made a promise that's all, but it's okay" I just looked away,
"yeah she says sorry for breaking that, trust me her last words were to tell you that" I got up and we both looked away from each other. I just left him with a simple wave, he'll probably go cry to his friends as if it'll change anything, after all you can't look back because they won't come back. Don't be afraid when it's time after time. I sat on the highest branch at the sunset, Erwin sat next to me, he was rather interested by me and cassie so it seemed, I looked at him. "what is it Eyebrows" the tint of me being dissatisfied by his presence. He patted me and I jumped. what the hell Erwin don't touch me....
"I see you and I both have something in common ... we put our duty over emotions and people lives.. Am I right?" He gave me this look as if he could see my darkest thoughts and I shrugged,
"I dunno Erwin, I never have been a caring person, I'm a bit bipolar" I jokes with the ending but the rest of my words were cold and he just looked my in the eyes like a snake.
"why don't you care, you seem as if something is one your mind as well, care to spill?" I sighed and looked down at the floor. I really miss winter now, not to mention my sister, I could do with someones smile.
"I guess I miss Winter, My friend and my sister, I've been thinking about them subconsciously now..." I rubbed my head, it's not them I miss only though..
"you miss the old days too" He asked or more stated as he brushed his sunny hair out of his face.
"It's just I felt like I had a purpose then, ya know I was walking the path to catalyze my dream. It's been a winding road, I've stumbled and swayed my way slowly amongst the crowd but I wish I could have back that dream and no don't get me wrong I would never go back and play god but is there a way to earn back that endless sky." I sighed and he began to spoke,
"I mean you can complain all you want but it won't pave away to forgiveness, and everything you do is everlasting." his words were harsh and seemed to cut throw the air. I'm still lost in this maze of emotion so it seems. My once blank pages of my note book are now my way to another feeling or a plea for hope
"what are you waiting for?" He asked bitterly and I growled a bit at his tone.
"Look I've been trying to run away from reality for a while and I finally found a place. Sometimes you have to sacrifice what makes you human for humanity. I'll live for something other than this when I find it, because sometimes I forget what we're fighting for, I need reminding. I know these days get darker and slowly expires my chances, but I just need to get through the days, look there's no where else to run. I know there is still a beautiful life worth living, and with time I'll drown this feeling out. it's kinda nostalgic." he hummed in confusion at my words. "so it's a lack of pride?" I shook my head, "it's just I know I'm to blame, so I apologize, I don't know what to say, I just wish I could get that worry from their eyes. both of us have made it through the day but yet I worry for us what is yet to come, and what we have will we remain as we roll the dice on our lives..Just close your eyes from that sight of this futile fight and it's all etched in the sight of my eyes." he just sighed, I think I left him with no words, "look you know a invite of a white light is just a shield you use to protect yourself from reality and some people can't resist to just come and join in, but I always thought you'd grow up to know better than to give into pressure. You know I can see fury deep in your heart and the fire is quick to consume you, you want to know what comes from the ashes..your reality. You can live for something as soon as you find it. I hope you come across your future, and you may seem calm but inside you seem like you're screaming. Even I'm grateful for kindness and you have strive to become stronger even though you think you're weak, just carry onward, gaining friends and foes along the way" his words almost gave hope, even if it's just a small sense, maybe this empty pin pricked egg of happiness does have life after all. I've tried to make sense of why I can't figure out how to make past this, well let me bleed on the path i lead.I won't turn back, nor can i since i turned a new page, my story has begun.
"you opened up my eyes, thanks Erwin" maybe there is hope, yeah even if it's just a drop.

Attack on Titan.

Chapter 53.

Fuck calling it something. we'll just call it........ FUCK IT!

I finally calmed down and sat in a meditating position trying to forget what the actual fuck just happened. Erwin's alive. Levi has explaining to do. And I can barely walk.

"Oi! Ravioli!" I called.
"What brat?" He stated coldly.
"You have explaining to do."
"Well so do you."
Touche.

Wait... he called me a brat. Eh whatever, I'm too tired to deal with this shit.
"And you came out here when you should be resting. So it's your fault if you can't make it back." Wow Levi, cold.
"Well sorry, I can't just let my sister down while she's out here potentially about to die to the blonde fuck!" I snapped
"Subtle Cass, real subtle."

I could hear a couple cadets discussing how we were gonna get me back. Little dipshits I can get back myself.
"Tch. I can walk myself. I'm not that weak."
I heard them settle down in fear and I sighed. This is going to be a long walk back in the middle of no where. But technically not. Just stuck on a hill.
"No. No you can't. You need to rest that leg. You've done enough damage on that leg already." Levi seemed to not want me to walk but a minute ago he was saying I had to walk myself...?

Ohhh. One of his sarcastic moments that no one knew he was being sarcastic.
"Yeah, and how do you suggest we get outa here then?" I asked.
He sighed and looked at me. "Are you really that dumb? Or is it just one of those days?"
"Depends. Maybe it's just one of those da- ehhhh!?"

Before I could protest any further I had been picked up with my legs being supported my Levi's arms. I was just chilling. On the back of my father. Nothing wrong with that. Right? I feel so awkward.....
"Awkward...." I heard a cadet whisper to her friend.
"I know right! Levi! Put me down! I can walk!" I protested and of course, he didn't.
"No. You've used that leg enough today. If you don't rest it you'll only damage it more."
"You have a point but stiiiiiill" I sighed. I give up.
"Give up?" He asked. I could feel him smirking on the inside.
"Just go." I ruffled his hair a little.
"You're gonna pay for that."
"For what?" I smirked and that's when everyone finally got moving thank fuck.

It was a little way in and I was playing with Levi's hair for some weird reason. I remember playing with my adopted sisters hair when she was little. Maybe that's why I was doing it.
"You've picked up some weird habits since we came here." Levi pointed out as I continued playing with his hair.
"Yeah... I guess." I mumbled. "Hey Erwin!"
"What?" He asked, a little anger tinted his voice.
"Respect to the ex-commander." I said to him.
"What? Why?" Erwin seemed even more confused now.
I sighed. "It's not rocket science genius. You lost an arm to retrieve Eren and still continued after you lost the arm. Respect."
I seemed to have baffled a few people... why?
"Shinzou wo sasageyo." I said bluntly to Erwin. "That's what you said. Before you lost your arm. I respect you for that."

May as well be kind to the former commander of the Survey Corps. Even if he doesn't deserve it.

"Hey Ravioli" I continued conversation.
"Yeah couscous?" I laughed a little at that name.
"I had a few questions about the manga and series."
"Go ahead."
"If you made the books up, then were Petra, Eld, Gunther and Oluo just made up or...?" I didn't finish only because he knew what I meant. I hope they didn't, I'd feel so bad if they were...
He sighed at the mention of their names. Oh shit... I hope...
"All the events, apart the chapters later on, all those events happened. That's all I'm saying."
"Shit, I didn't know, I wouldn't have asked if I'd known"

He stayed silent. I'm sorry Ravioli. I soothed his head and continued playing with his hair.
"Is there a reason why you're playing with my hair?" Levi asked. I had to say now.
"Time for a life story with me. It all started before the world went to shit-"
"Yeah, okay, we get the picture."
"And I was 10 and I had an adopted sister and she was 8 and I played with her hair most the time and styled it nicely. She would enjoy that. I haven't played with anyones hair since then and this is the first time in ages."
"Sounds like you really cared for your younger sibling" Erwin said in a calm soft tone and I nodded.
"Yeah, we were really close!" I was tlking to no in particular in this section "I just wish I knew what happened to her. I mean there was only 1 body..."
"Maybe she's in that home for the homeless after the titans attacked." Levi stated and I smiled.
"Yeah, maybe, thanks Ravioli!" I gave him a kiss on the cheek. "You could join if you wanted."
"We'll see. Depends if I'm not bored."
"Okay, Okay"

We got back and I placed myself in a chair in the mess hall. Mmmmm, something smells good, smells like..... cookies?
"Do you want a cookie Erwin?" Soph asked, she was trying to be happy. Stop faking it, I know you want to punch him secretly.
"No. I wouldn't" Tch. Rude as fuck Erwin, that's an insult to her!
Soph just nodded. Oh come on! You really gonna let him get away with that! Fuck sakes! Time to fuck shit up!

I picked up a cookie. Oooo my favourite! I was tempted to eat it myself but instead I glared at Erwin.
"Eat the cookie." I said darkly.
Soph backed away and I saw Levi roll his eyes, he muttered something but I didn't quite catch what he said. I watched as Erwin shook his head.
"Eat the cookie. She worked hard on them. And bonus! She didn't burn them. You're being insulting to her by not eating them"
"If he doesn't want to..... nevermind."
I watched as he refused again and this time, I lost it. I shoved the cookie in his big ass gob.
"Eat it you shitty bastard. You're insulting her and her food"
I watched in satisfaction as he swallowed it.
"It's good, satisfied?"]
I nodded and smiled sweetly. "Very"

attack of the titans

chapter 54

misted emotions.

I'm not sure what happened as we ate with Erwin the feeling of a knot tightening kept getting tighter. I looked at Erwin as he ate, I think he could tell I was watching him as everyone else ate, I just kept staring. I walked out and sat down and gathered my thoughts. It's a cruel world sure. Oh well. I felt someone tap on my shoulder, I jumped,
"who?! what!? where!- oh long time no see" I said lazily as hanji patted me and sat next to me.
"you look upset, is it because of Erwin?" she asked with care in her voice, I loved that about mum, well hanji, she always cared, I know Levi does even if he doesn't show it.
"It's a long, far off journey, right? Until we're at the moment. Like a spur of the moment, if you are not there, then...I'd rather throw myself and rot in the tainted future. I guess I have a wanting to drown in a beautiful lie..." I said honestly like writing on a blank notebook. Hanji put her arm around me and sighed,
"I was told myself that there was no crueler fate than this hell we know and even though I fear that the darkest day here will catch us unaware I always remind myself that there is happiness somewhat in this madness, like you and cass and levi" she smiled,
"you're my happiness, I hope you find what you're looking for either way" She patted me and I just... I never said I was looking for something, did I? maybe she's just trying to make me feel better. Ugh. Oh wait I did, in a way I guess.
"No I'm not looking for something, well maybe I am but it's not like that Hanji. I guess I am looking for the people I lost before you came. I want to meet them, yet cannot. Where are they? I don't understand, I don't want to hear it, but I know it's still reality." I said as I felt the weakness of that of a flightless bird. Once again my heart taking over my senses. She patted me again, I wish she would stop patting me but it was some what relaxing. Maybe I do like the comfort. she sighed,
"Don't let that hope for them be erased, don't forget it, the illusion will cover it as a blur but don't forget. There is still hope. if you want to cry, cry. I'm sure who you are looking for are calling your name" she put her arm around me and held me tightly. OwO what's this, A lovely moment between a mother and a daughter, I like it, it's very warm. My prayers, my warmth, I hope the wind can at least Carry to you my love to them. I want to see them, if only in dreams. I'll hold onto them, my home can whisper to me. If I could hear their voice even the misery that I hide could be crushed and we could fly to our freedom because of the sleepless crescent moon, the empty droplets can never return even something beautiful, in its purity, laughs at this season ,I'm fixated on it as if it were a dream. I kissed Hanji on the cheek like a family thing and walked off. She always made me feel better. I saw Erwin and I walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder,
"hey, how are you? So I guess it's been a while since you started this journey. Why'd'ya leave?" I said happily thanks to the chat with Hanji and he looked back at me as if I was dumb, "
I didn't leave. It was a loose loose situation anyway." he spitted out not even bothering to look at me, the jerk. Why is he being so rude, honestly saying a polite hello would be at least would be a nice way to apologise for attacking me, my head still hurts from that.
"yeah, I guess. Why did you try to attack us then, me and cassie. Cassie had my back luckily, since when we met we promised that forever we'd have each others back." I said as I looked him in the eyes, what is he hiding? what pain made him do that?
"You don't need to know. It shouldn't matter to the likes of you." He said as if I was a thug, THAT WAS RUDE! And just uncalled for, gee. Erwin you lil' shit.
"awe, come on Erwin, give a girl a break, I'm only small and weak what am I gonna do, hug ya?" I winked and moved closer but he just rolled his eyes and sighed with annoyance. Tch, he's still a bastard, but I won't show I'm pissed off.
"from what I can tell you aren't weak or defenceless so stop pretending to be."
well that's a first. Most of the time I am the weak one. I'll take that as a complement.
"awe.come on you cam trust me, what ya hiding, is it a memory or something" I punched his shoulder playfully, raising my eye brow and smirking, my eye brow games were truelly nothing compared to his magnificent beasts.
"Remind me why I should trust you again?" He asked coldly....I just smiled at him.
"hey, i'm not saying you should, trust is a fragile thing after all, as fragile as a butterfly in the rain." he didn't respond so I punched his shoulder, ouch that hurt as if I had punched...metal....oh. his arm. ouch.
"did you zone out on me?" I asked jokingly, I needed him to become comfortable with me if I was going to find out what I wanted.
"unlike you, you're are not fragile. You can handle yourself so stop relying on other people." he said harshly. well, sorry I just can't take myself away from them. They're my strength.
"sorry.. I just couldn't seem to tear my self apart from them. I guess I keep lying to myself saying that I am so that it's easier on me. Maybe I'll take your advise.
I guess I'd rather drown myself in the most beautiful lie or throw myself away into that rotting ark." I looked away ,he had really touched a soft spot then..I..no. He's a horrible man I can't view him as anything else, he's not a friend or respectable but I can't say that I don't look up to him now.
"Now I'm not saying not to rely on people I'm just saying you can think for yourself and speak for yourself. You can rely on people to go to when you're going through a tough time but you can look after yourself." He smiled slightly at me, was he softening up to me. No I think not.
"I know Erwin. You're very truthful with your words I must say that. You speak honestly like someone painting on blank paper. I respect that." Man of wisdom he was I guess.
"I only try. I'm not a magician but you can only try" He said, he seemed tired of me by now, yeah sorry blondie, get use to it I am annoying.
"Unlike you Erwin I don't know the truth about you, but what can I do? Should I ask? I don't even know so why bother at all. Maybe something happened to make you like this but I won't ask, I know you won't answer." I sighed, I just wanted to know what he was hiding, damn stop playing games.
"Remember, there are some people who like to keep things personal to them. Take Cass as an example. She may smile but there's secrets hidden behind it, secrets she'll never tell. It's the same for a lot of people. You just have to be considerate about them. Think how they'll feel if you asked that one question that could've changed their lives." He really did have a heart someone in there, I think, I'm not certain but he defiantly has something he's hiding.
"Hey, that's why I am not asking. Even as this requiem calls the birds with their wings torn apart. I guess these questions will keep echoing in my head." I patted his head and he moved away, heh I tried to see if he was a patting person but I guess not.
"The questions will always return. But you've just got to stop yourself from asking them." he was a man of wisdom indeed.
"I know but still questions I always have, like water dripping down from a tap it only stops when you make it. I will never be able to return the favor of this talk but I thank you anyway." I got up ready to leave brushing my unfiorm off, I had a sudden moment of pride. I was a cadet after all, heh. Never thought I'd be here.
"Don't mention it. Levi would probably kill me if he found me doing something other than talking. And no, I don't mean it in that way." he said a light blush of embarrassment and I just couldn't help it, dirty thoughts. I burst out in laughter,
"It's funny because I once had a dream that you did something like that to me! haha good times. I'd do anything to get those days back." I snorted out more in laughter.
"I- well. I don't ... I don't know how to react." he seemed generally, shocked. this is too good. I laughed more.
"do you want me to explain?" I said with a smirk.
"No." he said sharply standing up.
"ahh- okay. How are you anyway? is everyone being welcoming, I mean other than hanji. she's nice to everyone. I don't suppose you're staying for the fire works? And that's a simile, I mean when the military police come, they've been getting pissed at us lately." I asked, thought I'd update our old commander, well new for me old for everyone else.
"Well. A few glares from few cadets cough cough Cass cough cough and a few welcome backs. And some mutual feelings of their ex-commander randomly coming back into the picture.The MP's have always been up our asses. It's no surprise there. I would like to see how this turns out. I might stay a while. The MP's can get pretty interesting." He seemed calm and I decided it was best if I made my way, I started to walk off, I had things I needed to do.
"They can. those fucking majestic unicorns they are. he he. Well I'll leave you I'm sure you have a lot you wish to do or think about. nice meeting ya for the first Erwin, even if ya did try and kill me.... " I laughed and made my way around the corner and ran. No joke I fucking legged it, I've never felt more worried than sat on a roof top with that man, makes me shiver, does he have feelings? ewe no, we all know he's a blonde fuck.

attack of the titans

chapter 53

cookie.

Cassie raged in some korean shit and I just gasped as I sat there, tired and fed up of this shit. everyone was too busy fantasising how cassie could talk korean. well no shit sherelock, people sometimes. No don't worry about the fucking man with caterpillars on his face. I got up and cassie was on top of erwin, it looked sexual, i didn't like it. Levi rolled his eyes at everyone gossiping. I just let them deal with it and walked off on my own, I wanted to bake cookies and I don;t give a fuck what people say. I rolled my eyes at them and ran off into the distance, disappearing in the trees. I heard connie joke and say "she's gone" like it was a magic trick. tch, idiots. I got home and grabbed the cooking stuff, I don't even understand why connie was there? what the fuck who cares, I took a deep breath and slowly mixed the ingredients together. what am I doing. I'm a mess. I shoved the cookies in the oven and armin walked in. "I thought I'd come and see you" he walked over and sat next to me. "you look down in the dumps, is something bothering you?" he asked sympathetically and I sighed. "I always lose my way, and then lead myself astray, I just want to be a level headed, calm being but I have too many emotions. it's fine, the cookies are ready and oh, is that them" I got up and ignored completely what armin was saying. I grabbed the cookies put them on a plate, right I'm going to be a calmer person. I walked out and Erwin was at with them, I'm going to punch him I swear, i glared and took a deep breath and smiled, "do you want a cookie Erwin?" I asked trying to be happy, most people fall for it. "no I wouldn't" he said coldly and i just nodded and put the cookies on the table and cassie did something I never imagines she would. she grabbed a cookie and glared at erwin. "eat the cookie" she said darkly and i backed away, levi rolled his eyes and muttered sarcastically "well this is interesting" and i just rolled my eyes and watched, "eat the cookie she worked hard on them and she didn't burn them, you're insulting her by not eating them, it's the least you could do" which was true he was rather insulting by not eating them. "if he doesn't want to..never mind" It was too late she shoved the cookie in his mouth, "eat it you shitty bastard, you're insulting her" she stuffed it in his mouth and he swallowed, he nodded, "it's good, satisfied?" she nodded, "yeah".

attack of the titans

chapter 52

Eyebrows?

I can't believe Levi sometimes! for fuck sake! Cassie isn't my responsibility! Well maybe this will make him happy! for fuck sake! I stormed through town and reached the woods that lead to the moors, me and cassie liked to walk up here when we were younger and I'm guessing she would be here right now. I hope.

I walked hesitantly through the forest and called out for cassie, "cassie, come on Levi didn't mean it"

I looked around suspiciously, she heard some bushed rustle and presumed it was cassie playing around. "look cass com'on out"

I sighed and continued to walk, nerves getting the better of me, I had that sick feeling in my stomach as if something bad was about to happen. I got ready to grab my katakana's with my sweaty hands and wiped my brow. I looked around and brushed it off, I had this instinct all of a sudden and I ran.

I didn't look back I just ran further into the forest, I could have used my 3DM gear but I was saving it for an emergency. Instead I bolted as fast as I could when I felt it was safe I stopped and breathed. It was clear so it seemed. I sat down by the tree and sighed, this was a stupid idea. I didn't want to move this tree was comfy but she had too. I got back up and started to make my way again, taking a deep breath, it was just paranoia, there is absolutely nothing to be worried about- Bushy eye browed fuck! Like a dear caught in head lights I was confused and scared.

A large blonde male bolted with 3DMgear from my side pushing me over into a wall and causing me to bang my head. I growled and looked up- Oh my god. no no no. Erwin? I thought he was dead. He got his katakana's and tried to stab me but I rolled out the way, "Erwin? The fuck! Levi said you were dead!" I shouted and scrambled out of the way as he swung again.

"Levi is a good liar" He mocked and I hissed as he went to grab me and did so successfully my katakana's falling to the ground and I tried to kick out for help. "help Commander fuck bag has got me!!" I shouted and he chuckled. I kicked him in the gut and he winced in pain but didn't let go, I kicked once again and he dropped me but swishing his katakana at me and causing me to jump back and fall back to back with a tree Erwin approaching me, I couldn't move my head hurt and my body felt limp, I went to crawl up but he was about to stab me and I grabbed the katakana's with my hands, it made slits on my hands that wouldn't heal for a while but i'm not losing to this shit bag. My hands slipped but I didn't die, but I sat there with my eyes shut expecting it, as I opened my eyes I saw Levi holding Erwin's arm to stop him from hurting me. I'm so fucking confused. "what the fucking hell is going on?!" I asked angry and confused.


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