A faith to live by, a self to live with, and a purpose to live for.
- Bob Harrington

Dolphins

Unlike humans, the outer layer of a dolphin's skin is made up entirely of live cells. Dolphins have no protection against bruises.

Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

So feed the Good one... he will win for sure...!

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Life's Work

A prisoner at the Edmonton Maximum Security Prison started training a large fly to do tricks. For years, four thousands of hours, he worked with the insect. It learned to walk across a miniature high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike, balance on a pair of slits and sing songs from Phantom of the Opera.

"When you and I get out of here," the jailbird said to the fly, "we're going to tour the night-spots and make a fortune."

Finally the day arrived. Fly safely tucked away in his pocket, (inside its matchbox home), the ex-con made his way to a bar to celebrate.

At the bar he brought out his trick fly. On cue, it started moonwalking.

"What about this fly, eh?" he said to the bartender.

In one swift motion, the bartender reached for his copy of the local newspaper, rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty swipe.

"Glad you saw it," muttered the bartender. "Damn things are everywhere."

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Violence is the solution to every problem; if it's not solving the problem, you're not using enough of it.
- Anonymous

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The Man And His Finger

A man once went to see a doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body.

"Doctor my whole body hurts me," he moaned. The doctor asked him to show exactly where the pain was.

The man explained, "When I touch my shoulder, it hurts. When I touch my back it hurts. When I touch my legs, they hurt."

The doctor did a thorough examination and told the man, "Sir, there is nothing wrong with your body. Your finger is broken. That is why it hurts wherever you touch. Get your finger plastered, rest it for a couple of weeks and all of your pains will disappear."

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For people who share a taste for excitement
- Martini & Rossi
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