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The book by Sam Small called "The Four Genders Handbook" is available in paperback or eBook format.

For the paperback or Kindle version click here to purchase on Amazon.

Now you have accepted that all human activities are made up of NURTURE, DECISION, ACTION and SERVICE we'll get on to the subject of personal relationships. This concept has nothing what ever to do with religious ideas of marriage or any sort of relationships. It's simply the way it has always worked - well, for most of the time. Let's look at the traditional view of the difference between men and woman.

WOMAN - She bears children therefore she has the required NURTURE to raise them all the way to adulthood.

MAN - He has the required ACTION to go into the world and bring home the means whereby the family may flourish.

That may chime with some aspects of being a man or a woman but it's too simplistic - too stereotypical. People are much more varied and complex than those definitions.

If we introduce two more "parts" or "talents" of DECISION and SERVICE then we get a much more realistic variation between the sexes. However, we have not two but FOUR variations. But each extra talent must be either the next in the chain or the one before. So we have to have new labels to personally identify with - and recognise others. Here's how it goes.

WOMAN (first type) she has NURTURE - next in the chain is DECISION. So this female type is a combination of NURTURE & DECISION. Because she makes decisions we shall call her a DOMINANT WOMAN.

WOMAN (second type) she has NURTURE - the talent before is SERVICE. So this female type is a combination of NURTURE & SERVICE. To differentiate her from her dominant sister we shall call her a SUBMISSIVE WOMAN.

MAN (first type) he has ACTION - the talent right before is DECISION. So this male type is a combination of ACTION & DECISION. Because he makes decisions we shall call him a DOMINANT MAN.

MAN (second type) he has ACTION - the talent after is SERVICE. So this male type is a combination of ACTION & SERVICE. To differentiate his from the dominant man we shall call him a SUBMISSIVE MAN.

These 4 labels are merely that - labels. It does not mean that the dominant pair are more important than the submissive pair. ALL FOUR ARE OF EQUAL WORTH. That is the most important of all the Four Genders concepts.

But which one are you? Notice to all men. Don't think it's better to be a dominant man - it's not. When you weigh the worth of each man they weigh the same.

When you've had time to digest all this go onto "Who Attracts Who?"
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The Dominant Man
As the dominant man likes social freedom to act whenever necessary he very often avoids working within groups. He might lead groups sometimes but it is rare because as the talents of Service and Nurture are weak in him he will appear to be a strict disciplinarian due to his preference to Decide and put into Action his plans without consultation. He might be a landscape gardener, computer programmer, farmer, artist, writer, song writer, electrician, research scientist, designer, architect, theologian, plumber, photographer or inventor. All these occupations give him the freedom to Decide and Act whenever necessary.
How a Dominant Man Dresses
He will be almost completely uninterested in clothes except in their function and comfort. He will wear clothes according to the situation. He will look smart only when necessary and his idea of casual will look ill-kempt to others. In this he demonstrates his freedom. The idea of being fashionable, or even smart, when all he wants is comfort, is a long way from his consciousness. He wears what he likes and pleases himself. To dress to create an impression for an occasion is a functional activity to him; it is a matter of manners. He realises his responsibility and carries out what is necessary.
All his clothes will be unconsciously masculine. To him, anything else would be fussy and strange.  His colour choice does not always suit him but in general he would choose muted colours avoiding bright, primary colours. He may have facial hair but it must be easily maintainable. A full beard or nothing is the norm. His hair style will be neutral, going with the natural behaviour of his hair. If he begins to bald he will merely accept it then ignore it.
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There are four required parts to any human activity on earth. If one of these is missing then the activity doesn't get done. Here are the parts and how they connect.

1) NURTURE - This is an internal need for something to be done. There doesn't have to be a logical reason - or there may be a reason - or a combination. Examples are: "I want to do something - I like something - I need to do something".

2) DECISION - This is the formation of a plan after the NURTURE part has been accepted. DECISION formulates how this thing is to be done. DECISION creates a future scenario as to how the NURTURE/need is to be satisfied. Examples are: "This is how it's going to be done - I want it done this way - Here's what I want you to do."

3) ACTION - the is the activity required to carry out the DECISION invoked by NURTURE. It can be short or lengthy and will contain certain risks - some of these risks may be dangerous. The outcome is never certain but the intention is clear. Examples are: "Let's get this thing done - Come on, let's do it - ignore risks and let's go."

4) SERVICE - this is the last part of the activity chain. It is the maintenance of the result of ACTION. This activity is low to no risk at all. But SERVICE is necessary or else NURTURE will be re-triggered (need for change) Sometimes a call to NURTURE is necessary. Examples are: "We need to look after this - we should monitor this to see that it is working normally -  this is beginning to fail we need to invoke NURTURE."

A real world example would be MOVING HOUSE.

1) (NURTURE) One or more members of the family feels that it is necessary to sell up and move to another location. Some reasons are given but one or more members of the family simple feel that is is time for a change.

2) (DECISION) One or more members of the family decides that the best course of action to get the best price for the house is to clear out everything, redecorate throughout, install a new kitchen and bathroom and re-model the garden. They then all temporarily move in with in-laws. Also they must research the area they are moving to for a suitable property and make an offer on a suitable house.

3) (ACTION) All members of the family take part in doing the work required to show the house. Problems are found but are overcome with extra expense. One or more members of the family go to the new location, get to know the neighbourhood then make an offer on a new house.

4) (SERVICE) All members of the family pack up the household property and load into the removal truck. Lawyers are employed to carry out the selling and buying of the two properties. Once the new house has been bought the property is unloaded from the truck and unpacked into the new home. New transport schedules are discovered for work and schools.

The above example is not exact but give an idea of the concept of Nurture - Decision - Action - Service and back to Nurture. All activities on earth are made possible by these parts.

Do you agree with this? Do you accept the above? If not put a query or question to Sam or another moderator. It's important to understand the importance of each part before we can consider personal relationships or move on to READ THIS SECOND. All the part are of equal value. Nothing gets done of any value unless all parts are present.

Do you agree?  If you do then now go on to "The Four Genders".
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The Submissive Man
He is by far and away the most visible of all Four Genders. We see him everywhere. At his best he has massive charisma that can electrify millions. He always wants to work with groups and dislikes being isolated. He likes working within a set of rules or boundaries but very often likes to test those boundaries, not to destroy them, but to test their strength and integrity. He does this because he needs to respect the boundaries and rules and those that set them.
The main areas that attract him are sport, finance, show business, the military, politics and religion. All these activities put him in public view and project him into public service. He requires knowledge of the rules and boundaries of each sphere in order to operate within each discipline. He could be a politician, actor, athlete, team coach, priest, religious leader, soldier, dancer, company director, detective, spy, singer, musician, doctor, nurse, financial advisor, airline pilot or stock floor trader.
How a Submissive Man Dresses
This man likes clothes and how they make him feel. He likes to show that he is organised with a relish for detail. This impression is very important to him. He is not a slave to the latest fashion but he likes to be at least compatible with the latest trends. He enjoys the communal sensation of sharing fashion with others like him. He likes decoration usually with muted colours, but sometimes they are bright to subtly show his desire to take risks and push the boundaries. He will develop a style based on current fashion but make it his own version.
He will dress in a co-ordinated way but still keep his masculinity. He can be relied upon to dress correctly for whatever occasion he has to attend and do it with enjoyment and enthusiasm. Clothes enable him to demonstrate his ability to co-operate and support whomever he is accompanying. Hairstyle is important to him because it needs to co-ordinate with his clothes and appearance. If he begins to bald he will feel very self-conscious and will do his best to minimise the effect such as close cropping his hair. Facial hair will be groomed and shaped to its best effect. It is another way to show his desire for his whole appearance to radiate harmony for himself and others around him.
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The Submissive Woman
Her occupations are extremely limited, not because she is unambitious, but because she is largely uninterested in career paths. Her burning desire is to be a homemaker, wife and child rearer. She sees marriage as the open door to such fulfilments and will seek this state of being from an early age. In the meantime she will do menial tasks in society not because she is incapable of anything else; it is because she is expressing her desire to be of Service until she can attain the ultimate Service which, to her, is marriage and family.
Whilst waiting for her familial destiny she would be attracted to positions such as, receptionist, secretary, nurse, charity worker, animal care volunteer, supermarket checkout, fast food restaurants, waitress, shop assistant or child minder. When young, and depending on her natural talent, she might be a singer, model, dancer or actress. She will enjoy this as long as it is fun but give it up in a heartbeat when given the opportunity of achieving her ambition of home-maker.
How a Submissive Woman Dresses
For this woman, especially when young, everything has to be in harmony with everything else. Fashion is fun. It is also the template by which she judges her appearance. She needs to feel part of the community of other women of her age who notice fashion. She feels she is serving that community by being a part of it and contributing towards it. Consequently she often corroborates with other women to decide on actual items to be worn. Colour and style is dictated to a large degree by fashion, but usually there is a wide range of colours and styles from which she chooses.
She will enjoy the latest fashions. She will use her favourite colours often with extra decoration that enhances the design which adds mystery to her appearance. The overall impression is one of delicacy and balanced colour; of carefully chosen current style. Her dress strategy is never to make a definitive statement but of creating a whole integrated impression of balance and pleasure. It is a display not necessarily of allure but a demonstration of her harmonic landscape. Her hair is an accessory to be treated like any other. It is coloured, cut and shaped to integrate with the whole. Her make-up performs a similar purpose but is subtle using many different compatible shades. Jewellery will be delicate and colour co-ordinated.
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She is an instinctive decision-maker but needs others to Action those Decisions into reality. Whenever you see a woman who is voluntarily in full public view she will almost certainly be a dominant woman. She is easily the most visible female of the Four Genders. Her instinctive ability to make quick and accurate decisions sometimes put her at odds with established wisdom.
She could be a politician, social worker, counsellor, athlete, doctor, nurse, dentist, priest, actor, singer, animal care worker, police officer, nanny, chef, prison worker, teacher, TV presenter, journalist, hairdresser, dancer, store manager or armed forces personnel.   
How a Dominant Woman Dresses
She will be interested in day-to-day clothes as a statement. She cares little about dressing from top to toe in the latest fashion. Current fashion will not be her primary motive for choosing her clothes; it is a vehicle to demonstrate her own self. She likes clothes that transmit strength with femininity. She likes clothes that make a clear statement. The viewer will not be confused. She likes to dress with freedom. She may wear fashions from another decade mixed with today’s fashion. She doesn’t want to be identified with a current fad. She wants her image to be entirely her own. Sometimes she will wear trousers or jeans, other times dresses or skirts. For the most part her clothes will hug her figure. In this she is dressing honestly.
She will have a preference for darker, striking colours; black included. Her hairstyle would be what comes naturally to her hair rather than to force the fashion of the day. She may wear hair colouring to make a statement, but not to give a false impression. Hair condition is more important to her than hair style. Her jewellery will be simple with direct designs. Her make-up will include strong colours making definite statements with her eyes and lips.
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Here's the real secret. But many of you already know it. Dominant goes with submissive and submissive goes with dominant. They need each other. It's the reason we need to have relationships. It's why we are attracted to each other. It's why you are NOT attracted to other people. Let's look at the combinations.

Together they have the whole NURTURE+DECISION/ACTION+SERVICE chain. As long as each exercises their special two talents they can do anything and be happy doing it.

Together they have the whole DECISION+ACTION/SERVICE+NURTURE chain. As long as each exercises their special two talents they can do anything and be happy doing it.

So there it is. Quite simple. Look above and see your future partner. But who are they? WHERE are they? Hold on. You need to know who you are first. Are you exercising your two talents? If you are you are attracting your perfect partner. Want a little more help finding your own type? Go on  to "Who Am I?".
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Sometimes it's hard to decide which of the four genders you are. For some people it's really simple. They've always known it. The best way to find out is to chat in the discussion section. I promise 100% that you are one of the four genders. All people on earth are.

Still not sure? Try one of the following sections. It might turn a light on.
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