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Welcome to That Headline, Though!

Welcome, fellow Google+ User!

Prepare yourself for a Collection of the strangest, funniest, most utterly bizarre news headlines and stories from around the world. If you needed proof that reality is far stranger than any fiction, this Collection will supply it in abundance. It also might crush any residual faith you have in humanity. Fairly warned.

Examples of what you will see in this Collection, and if you Follow this Collection, include the following real headlines that sound more like something ripped from +The Onion​​:

Diner Suffers Cardiac Arrest While Eating a Triple Bypass Burger
Woman Sets Home On Fire Trying To Kill Spider
World's Smallest Penis Contest Sees Stiff Competition

Some are hilarious, some ironic, some thought provoking, and others are just slightly disturbing, but they're all attention catching.

If you enjoy news of the anomalous, paranormal, and just plain weird you should also consider following Weird News, linked below.

And for strange headlines from Florida, and other Florida related stuff, see Only In Florida:

Go here to Follow my Profile to keep up with all my Posts:

Or go here to Follow any or all of my Collections:

To receive Notifications from this (or any) Collection, tap the bell so you won't miss a single update (you can just as easily turn them off later).

Enjoy your Streams, fellow Plussers!

~ +Eli Fennell​​

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Maine Court Appeal Ruling Hinges On Lack of Oxford Comma

The Oxford comma, a comma that comes before the coordinating conjunction (and, or, etc...) in a sentence, is one of the oldest grammatical controversies.

With the Oxford comma, John invited the strippers, Bob, and Mike to his bachelor's party; without it, John invited the strippers, Bob and Mike to his bachelor's party. These sound like two very different types of parties, do they not? Nonetheless, some people hate the Oxford comma with a passion.

The differences of interpretation that can arise from the lack of an Oxford comma can be quite comical. And now we have another argument in its favor: legal clarity.

Delivery drivers for Maine milk and cream company Oakhurst Dairy have been fighting in court over whether they qualify for overtime. Oakhurst argued that their duties were exempted from overtime pay, but the drivers argued, in part, that the absence of an Oxford comma favored their own interpretation.

While they lost their initial case, on appeal the judge sided with the drivers. Grammar matters.

#ThatHeadlineThough #GrammarNazi

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Texas Man Arrested for 'Having Sex With A Fence'

An Austin, Texas man was arrested and charged with indecent exposure for performing sexual acts with a fence.

It appears the man, who as you might have guessed was intoxicated at the time, decided to put on a show when one of his neighbors began to film him urinating on the fence.

Either that or he had a very singular case of urolagnia.

#ThatHeadlineThough #DontMessWithTexas

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Man Tries To Prove He Can 'Shield' Punches with Force Field By Challenging MMA Fighter

A man claiming to be an 'energy shield master' claimed he could use an invisible energy force field to defend himself against any attacks. MMA Fighter Alexandr Litvinenko decided to test this claim. He even offered, like a gentleman, to only 'simulate' his attacks... until this would-be Jedi Knight decided to slap him.

To say the least, the experiment did not end well after that.

#ThatHeadlineThough #ExtraordinaryClaims

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Zimbabwean President Mugabe Could Run For Election 'As A Corpse'

92-year old Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe, who has said he would like to live to 100 and be President for life, is not in the best of health, and may not make it to his next election.

According to his 51-year old wife Grace, however, this may not be a problem, as she recently told his supporters, "If God decides to take him, then we would rather field him as a corpse," encouraging them to vote for him even if that were to happen. So he may well end up, not just President for life, but President for afterlife, too.

Of course, Mrs. Mugabe may have ulterior motives of her own, as she has suggested that if President Mugabe is too told to serve, then so are his rivals, and that she might, then, take over herself.

If that were to happen, then Zimbabwe would join the surprisingly long, and rather depressing, list of countries to have had a female President before the United States.

#ThatHeadlineThough #Mugabe #DeathIsNoObstacle

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Gynecologist Warns Against Gwyneth Paltrow's 'Jade Vagina Eggs'

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow's online store Goop, a notorious marketplace for snake oil and quackery, took their flim flamming to a new level recently, promoting $66 Jade and Rose Quartz 'Vagina Eggs' promising to help women fix their hormonal issues by keeping the egg up inside their lady pouches for extended periods, even overnight.

Fortunately, at least one Gynecologist isn't letting this happen without speaking up about it, warning women that in addition to the fact that this has about as much validity as homeopathy, it could even cause serious, even potentially fatal harm.

Nonetheless, I predict Jade Vagina Eggs will surpass their technological forebears, the Pet Rock, to become the most profitable worthless lumps of stone in consumer history.

#ThatHeadlineThough #NotTheOnion

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Flight 666 Lands Safely in HEL on Friday The 13th

Finnair Flight 666, which is thirteen years old this year, landed safely today, Friday the 13th, in HEL (Helsinki Airport). And somehow, it managed to do this without unleashing the dreaded Cthulhu from his watery slumber. Iä Cthulhu! Iä Dagon!

#ThatHeadlineThough #Fridaythe13th #FridaytheThirteenth

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It Finally Happened: McDonald's 'McVatican' Restaurant Open for Business

If it has seemed to you that modern religion is as hollow and corporate as a fast food restaurant, this won't change your mind:

McDonald's has opened its very first location on Vatican property.

Technically, the 'McVatican' isn't in the Vatican proper, but is the first McDonald's to open in a building legally owned by the Vatican, a mere football field's length from the country's official border, in Italy.

The move is extremely controversial, especially since the building it has opened in, in the Pio Borgo district of Rome, is also home to several senior Cardinals. It is also unnecessary, as there are two other McDonald's nearby.

On the bright side, they do have free WiFi available.

#ThatHeadlineThough #ModernReligion

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"Your Face Looks Like a Chimp's Butt!" - Scientists

Researchers from Leiden University in the Netherlands and Kyoto University in Japan say the human face "shares important features with the primate behind". In other words, we all look like chimpanzee butts.

They actually have pretty compelling evidence for this insulting-sounding hypothesis: both chimp butts and human faces are symmetrical, change colors to indicate social signals, are arranged in ways to make identification of each other easier, are harder to recognize when inverted than other objects (e.g. an upside down house is easier to recognize than an upside down human face due to the way our brains are wired), etc..., and whereas chimps mostly use behinds to recognize each other, humans rely more on faces (since we walk upright and therefore our eyes are not constantly at tuchis level), so it actually makes a lot of sense that the latter would take on aspects and features of the former.

#ThatHeadlineThough #ScienceSunday #Evolution

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That Headline, Though - Digest #3

In This Edition: Man Breaks Into Neighbor's Home for WiFi. Slugs Plunge Redditch Neighborhoods Into Darkness. Famous Actress Sued By... Her Embryos?

#ThatHeadlineThough #AnimalUprising #DumbCriminals
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