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The Ballad of Bruce The Elephant

I once had me an elephant,
It was big and strong and grey.
All I did was call him Bruce,
And he came merrily on his way!

He'd always try to cheer me up,
Whenever I was in a funk.
He'd place me high upon his back
With his enormous trunk.

Without forethought or planning,
We'd trample through the land.
No jungle was too thick.
Our path could not be banned!

And, yes, the Earth would tremble,
For we were an awesome sight!
And all the local villagers
Would run away in fright!

It was then that I first realized
How powerful we could be.
We terrorized the fishermen
And sent them out to sea!

We crashed through all their mud huts
And we ruined all their craft.
We even stomped upon their loo,
And laughed and laughed and laughed!

But, alas, it wasn't long before
The people rose against us.
And so we did disguise ourselves
By painting Bruce up as a bus.

But we knew that plan was faulty,
'Cause in spite of the fine decor,
Whenever we stopped on the roadside,
Folks couldn't get in the door!

And so it came to pass one day
That I had to say my last 'see ya'
To Bruce, my friend and sometimes bus,
And traded him in for a Kia!

Inspirations | Destinations | Incantations | Aviation
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Reach for the Sky

Reach for the sky,
Grab hold of the stars,
Find yourself a rocketship,
Fly away to Mars!
And when you get there,
You'll be free
Of all Earth's problems,
Eternally!
But just make sure
You take a magazine
'Cause the wifi's lousy
And the rates are obscene.
And you can't get a job
Because there ain't lots,
And the few that there are,
Are done by bots.
So good luck on your trip,
Enjoy your new home!
We thank you deeply,
For leaving us alone.
We'll fix all the crap
You left behind
'Cause we won't have you
To whimper and whine.
Just one more thing,
And I'll wish you good cheer...
Try not to f*** up there
Like you did down here!

Inspirations | Destinations | Incantations | Aviation
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Stiff Joints

When I'm old and grey,
When I can hardly move,
I'll still reach out to caress your face,
Even though you'll be old, too.

Inspirations | Destinations | Incantations | Aviation
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Camouflage

To not be noticed or even seen,
Some wear clothes of brown and green
To try to merge in with the trees
And play hide and seek as they so please.
But we as humans don't need cover
If we don't want to be discovered.
We use words and good intentions,
Telling jokes and misdirections,
All designed for the prevention
Of uncomfortable intervention.
I guess we all would like to hide
From those who'd see our ugly side.
The awkward truth of being seen
Is that there is nothing in between
To stop someone from touching you
The way that we're not ready to,
And that they might see our living heck
And run screaming from the burning wreck.
So wear your camouflage with pride,
Knowing that you're right to hide,
Because it's better to be left alone
Than risking all for that great unknown.

Inspirations | Destinations | Incantations | Aviation
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Just End This

Hello, you said that you'd be here at a quarter after two
You've left me here waiting with nothing else to do
I'm tired of being treated like something on your shoe
I think we should both accept that this time we are through

Yeah, I know that you are sorry, we've been through all this before
I never know what time it is that you'll show up at my door
You've told me every lie, excuses by the score
It seems that I'm not good enough, you're always wanting more

Listen, you're always interrupting when I have something to say
I don't want to know the thing that's kept you there today
As far as I'm concerned, you can be with her all day
If that's where you want to be, then there's where you should stay

Just let us end this now, why can't you be a man?
I really don't know what's so hard for you to understand
There's plenty of other providers, I'd like to see who can
So cancel my subscription, I no longer want your plan

Inspirations | Destinations | Incantations | Aviation
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VPN Free

(apologies to +Great Big Sea)

Naa na na na na nayah na

Wouldn't it be great to lose this huge frustration.
And wouldn't it be great to check in with my friends.
And wouldn't it be great to get a good connection.
Sure, there's a fix, but the pain just never ends.

I wanna be
VPN free!
I wanna be
Where Google really matters.
I wanna be
VPN free, and I say
Naa na na na na nayah na
Oh naa na na na na nayah na

Oh, If I need direction, yeah, Google Maps is my friend.
And if I translate something, would that be such a crime?
No, I won't abuse it, I've got the best intentions...
A little bit of anarchy, but not the Chinese kind!

I wanna be
VPN free!
I wanna be
Where Google really matters.
I wanna be
VPN free, and I say
Naa na na na na nayah na
Oh naa na na na na nayah na

I'd really like for them to see
It's just their paranoia;
Afraid of what might be...
But I really need my GMail...
Oh...for just one month!

Wouldn't it be nice to get the best of searches.
And wouldn't it be great to get a Hangout call.
To slip off into Facebook, or watch a YouTube channel.
To surf the Net so freely and not worry 'bout the Wall.

I wanna be
VPN free!
I wanna be
Where Google really matters.
I wanna be
VPN free, and I say
Naa na na na na nayah na
Oh naa na na na na nayah na
Oh naa na na na na nayah na

Inspirations | Destinations | Aviation
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The Man on the Hill

In the deep dark distance, there's a temple on a hill.
It's as old as the mountains, but it's standing there still.
They say that when you find it, you are greeted by a man.
He seems to be as ancient as is the hallowed land.
And if you ask him very nicely, he'll make a pot of tea,
And tell you tales of how he was once the earth, the sky and sea.
He'll then make claims of riches and possessions made of gold,
And all the slaves and women that he has bought and sold.
Then he'll stop his epic story and look into your eyes
And wait for you to ask him if it's not a pack of lies.
And if you smile and tell him you believe his story's true,
Then the greatest wisdom on this Earth he'll then pass on to you.
But if you laugh and tell him that he's full of swill,
Then with very little effort, he will throw you off the hill.

Inspirations | Destinations | Aviation
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If I Gave...

If I gave you my colours
Is it something you'd regret?
If I gave you my river
Would you mind getting wet?
If I gave you my forest
Would you play in my trees?
If I gave you my music
Would you dance with me, please?

Inspirations | Destinations | Aviation
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Selfie

Selfie!  Selfie!
Take a picture, quick!
Get it with my smartphone,
Put it on a stick!
Selfie!  Selfie!
Don't know where I am.
That's ok, I don't care,
It's on my cellphone cam!

Inspirations | Destinations | Aviation
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Paradise Lost

For every mountain one must climb, one must also learn how to fall.

Inspirations | Destinations | Aviation
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