Tagline: "Boulanger, c'est un métier"
Tagline: "Boulanger, c'est un métier"
Used some homemade yoghurt instead of the usual milk/butter, small batch to test it out, so far so good. Flavor is less rich (which I prefer) texture is spot-on and crust is just a hair heavier than I'd like.
Yeah, it's kind of dumb, but here it is for you to roll your eyes at:
Note: this does not mean that I hate your baby in particular, and by extension you.
Review: Biological Anthropomorphic Being with Yuck (BABY)
Physical Design: The BABY chassis seems altogether too fragile and squishy. I’m told it is unlikely to remain undamaged after even a single drop. Also, the casing must not have been completely sealed on this unit – there is definite leakage of an as-yet-unidentified fluid. I will not be investigating this avenue further.
User Interface: I am not familiar with the operating system this unit runs on. It seems to initiate crying often, but no combination of button presses ends the crying cycle. There are no data ports on the BABY, and I was unable to get it logged onto a WiFi network, so a firmware update is out of the question. My current working theory is that this BABY runs some archaic version of Unix with limited user controls. Seems like a terrible design choice for something you will spend all day in close proximity to.
Speakers: This thing makes a lot of noise. It has very little bass, but the highs are strong. Sadly, I was unable to control playback. The BABY seemed to have a mind of its own. Whatever audio it was trying to play through its single mono speaker (mounted toward the bottom of the face) came out garbled and unlistenable. Poor design, again.
Internal Hardware: So, I’m told this unit breathes oxygen to run the electron transport chain, thus powering its cells. A heart (smaller than the standard human version) pumps the oxygenated blood around. This probably has a lot to do with the general unpleasant squishiness of the chassis. It’s running a brain for processing and storage, which is encouraging. However, this model is equipped with a feature called “growth,” meaning the brain doesn’t do much at first. It needs to mature before it can be used to store data or crunch the necessary bits for complicated activities. This makes the practical applications for a BABY quite limited. I think this product is woefully underpowered in today’s market.
Battery Life: I am under the impression this device runs entirely on milk, which is impressive. As long as it’s supplied with milk, it keeps working. Now, all the BABY really does is cry and leak things, so maybe this isn’t the best use of whatever crazy milk fuel cell this thing has. I’d like to see milk power in more devices.
The Verdict: From what I understand, the BABY has a lot of fans – committed individuals that stand behind the product 100%. I’m unable to explain their commitment. The overall design is poorly executed, and it’s just not very sturdy (though I was not permitted to do a drop test). The lack of clear user interactions makes control of the BABY tedious at best and impossible at worst. If audio playback was good that would at least be a single saving grace, but alas.
There are some interesting ideas when it comes to the internals. Brains can do a lot of great stuff when they’re properly configured, but the BABY comes with such a limited model it can’t even run simple visual-spatial programs. There’s just not enough horsepower under the hood.
Is the BABY a good product? In my short time with the BABY, I’d have to say no. The designers have a lot of work to do if they’re going to make the next version “toddler” worth your attention.
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