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Kevin Millikin
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Danish law requires bicycles to have a bell: https://www.retsinformation.dk/forms/R0710.aspx?id=21839#K5

En cykel skal være forsynet med en klart lydende klokke, som skal være anbragt på styret. Cyklen må ikke være forsynet med andet signalapparat.

Rough translation: A bicycle must be equipped with a clear sounding bell, which must be mounted on the handlebars. The bicycle cannot be equipped with other signaling equipment.


Funny story: today my son's 3rd grade class took a bicycle tour. Two days ago he left for school on his commuting bicycle in the morning and discovered he had a flat tire so he walked instead. Yesterday morning, I went to replace the tube and found that I had 24" tubes with presta valves, but this bike wants a schrader valve. (Actually, it has the totally crappy dunlop valves that almost all Danish bicycles seem to come with. Those are really, really crappy but I repeat myself. I could have patched the old tube, but I don't usually patch tubes with those crappy valves and instead replace them with schrader tubes because I'll never buy the crappy ones. That does mean that I can't just buy a tube at Fotex, but on the other hand I save about half the price of a tube by not buying them from Fotext which is a rip off anyway.)

So instead I sent him to school on his other bicycle, his touring bicycle. This morning, he was a bit panicked as he told me that he would not be allowed to ride his touring bicycle (!) on the bike tour because it was illegal. It doesn't have a bell.

This is the bike that he rode about 700 km on last summer when we toured through Germany and Austria. Without a bell.

This is a stupid law, that a bicycle must have a bell. Why must it? There is nothing that I can do with a bell that I cannot do with my voice. In fact, my voice is 100% better. I don't have to reach for my voice, or remember which side of the handlebars it's on, or take my hand off the brakes (or out of my pocket or drop my grocer bag or cell phone or whatever) to use it. If I have to, I can communicate a lot more, like "on your left" instead of "ding". And the "clear sounding" bells that Danish bicycles come with sound like crap in the rain when sound is already deadened by the sound of the falling rain.

But I do know it's the law to have a bell. Why doesn't Sean's bike have a bell, then? First, it's a real bike so it didn't come with one. Then, I put cyclocross brake levers on it so he'd have two different braking positions for comfort and safety. They are drop bars, so that actually doesn't leave any good place to mount a bell. Maybe it would be legal to mount one on the stem (I'm actually not sure if that is legally "på styret", on the handlebars, or not) but he's got a bike computer there.

So this morning, I had to pull a bell off another bike, and mount in in a stupid and unsatisfying place on his handlebars so the bike would be legal and he'd be allowed to go on the tour.

That's fine, whatever. I just like to complain. But I will note that THERE IS NO PLACE WHATSOEVER IN THE LAW FOR BICYCLE EQUIPMENT (https://www.retsinformation.dk/forms/R0710.aspx?id=21839) OR DRIVING (https://www.retsinformation.dk/forms/r0710.aspx?id=158005#Kap7) THAT EVER REQUIRES ONE TO USE THEIR BICYCLE BELL.

Hey, I passed my driving theory test. Because I chose to take it in Danish, it also acted as a language listening test.

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Another driving exam question that doesn't make much sense: should I pay special attention to the equipment of the road when there isn't any? I said no, because there isn't any. But the answer is yes, because there isn't any. Go figure.
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I have a feeling I'm going to fail my driving exam because I'm overthinking it. When asked on a practice test if a car must have one turn signal in front, one in back, and one on the side, I said no. It must have two in front, two in back, and one on each side.
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This needs an Oxford comma. Though cannibalism while driving can be a distraction. (And the first sentence is trivially true.)
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I'm studying for my Danish driver's license exam. Most of the English-language study materials are badly translated and just need an editor. (No, it's not a business opportunity because they've just changed the rules and Americans don't have to take an exam any more.)

"It is very hard to slow down when driving on a bicycle without brakes...." Good for every motorist to know.
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Rotate her foot three times???!??!!!! #unpossible
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Luke is gifted, for small values of "gifted".
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Oh, the humanity!
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