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Walter J. Matweychuk, PhD
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Great 5 minute video.

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Anger will defeat you. Learn to control your anger before it controls and you corrodes or abruptly ends a worthwhile relationship. Learn REBT at REBTDoctor.com and you too can conquer your anger problems.

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I am proud to have graduated from William Penn Charter School and I am blessed for having had the opportunity to attend this fine institution. OPC '78

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This is a great video on how to not be insulted when someone hurls one at you. This is completely consistent with REBT philosophy.

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Here I explain the ABC framework of REBT using the example of relationship anxiety. Watch this 25 minute video to understand how you can begin to use REBT to help you have healthy concern rather than unhealthy anxiety when involved in an intimate relationship that you enjoy hope continues into the future.

I ran across this quote from Thomas Jefferson which I wanted to share with you. “Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.”

As you know I practice Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). In this distinct form of cognitive behavior therapy I specifically teach you how to implement a prescription like the one made by Thomas Jefferson above. In order to implement Thomas Jefferson’s wisdom you have to see that you can only control yourself but never another person. This in REBT is called the Principle of Emotional Responsibility. In order to implement this principle you need to see that other people never upset you but rather you upset yourself about what they do or fail to do. You disturb yourself by holding rigid and extreme beliefs about how people absolutely should or should not conduct themselves. For example, if you think “People absolutely should implement my recommendations” you will be angry with others when they fail to live according to your recommendations. If you think “It is unbearable when people do not follow my recommendations” you will make yourself needlessly upset when others do what they want and not what you think is correct or prudent to do.

So if you want to implement what Thomas Jefferson advocated which is to gain leverage over others by always remaining cool and unruffled under all circumstances, never blame someone else for making you upset. Instead be responsible for your emotional response to their “misconduct” and tell yourself “I am making myself upset about what this other party is doing or failing to do. I have a choice. I do not have to make myself upset.” The more you practice being responsible for your emotions the better you will get at doing this and it will help you deal with all the fallible humans you encounter every day!

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I teach you how not to disturb yourself over the problems you have and the obstacles you encounter. This is called the Principle of Emotional Responsibility. Once you are in control of your reactions to events you can work at changing what can be changed and having some happiness despite the presence of ongoing problems. This is a tough-minded approach to problems of everyday living. I not only want you to feel better but to get better and stay better so that you can make the most out of the one life you will ever have to enjoy.
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