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Kimberly Breuer
42 followers
42 followers
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Not An Advertisement. Except Maybe A Little.

If you haven’t tried Yerdle, you should. It’s basically an online garage sale, but you don’t spend real money. And if you sign up with this handy link you get $35 to start with. For free. This sounds like an ad, but I’ve actually sold over $200 in things…
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Jared, what’s the weather going to be like tonight? I can’t decide what to wear. Let me look it up. Decent, I think. In Kimberly language, though. Not real degrees. Oh, then freezing. No matter what. It’s the fucking Ice Age out there.
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Dog jokes are the new love songs…I get them now.
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Wait, I gotta barrel roll my dog.
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puppy barks Jared, what happened? Nothing. I’m just teasing her a bit. She overreacted. Yeah, right. We were just doing ‘Fat Guy in a Little Coat’! Come on, Wickett. Crabwalk!
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You know how some people call their significant other names? Like their rock. You serve the same function…but prettier. I am your rock. I am your iiiisland. Yeah, you’re like the Galapagos. Pretty and really interesting. Especially if I were Charles…
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Do you want to know what the prettiest thing I saw today was? Yes, of course. Our puppy, but you are a close second.
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Gross http://wp.me/s4mflZ-gross

What are you doing? I was petting my mustache with my tongue.
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Happy Anniversary To You Too

I got you cupcakes for our anniversary. Two?! Are they both for me? Yep! But you get to pick one, and I’ll eat the other one.
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My Overplayed Lists Being Overplayed

5 More Reasonable Solutions: Wait the 10 minutes it’ll take to charge my phone Invest in something that doesn’t require a cassette player Stereos have radios. Built in ones. Brilliant. The dusty stack of CDs next to the stereo One of the four iPods I own…
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