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Cybe R. Wizard
Works at Suzie Paints LLC
Attended to Business
Lives in WizardsTower in the Quiet Forest
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Cybe R. Wizard

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I saw this headline on Yahoo!:
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"Google search chief Singhal to quit, to be replaced by AI head"
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...and wondered if this is the first time an artificial intelligence has run a major corporate division?
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Cybe R. Wizard

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I seem to side with Mr. Sanders 901% of the time.
Try this short quiz to see which 2016 Presidential candidate you side with.
10
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Lyndell Evans's profile photoKiller Bill's profile photo
19 comments
 
+Lyndell Evans well Bernie is jewish. I could care less. Hillary is for hillary. She puts her career over everyone. She doesnt want to help the american middle class and poor. When carly fiorinna was ceo at HP, they lobbied d.c. and hillary help pass thru a bill that became a cash grab of 5 billion. From taxpayers directly to wall st. And then thousands of people lost their jobs. One example of that piece of excrement.

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Cybe R. Wizard

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Amused by muse musings it seems
my muse is abused in my dreams.
Unadorned, she's refusing
my sexy enthusing
and confusing my coozing with schemes.

I only want what should be mine anyway!
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Cybe R. Wizard

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This is my rifle; this is my gun...

While shotgunning may be the rage
you double ought to assuage
your sexual desire.
It's a center fire
your .410 in a twelve gauge.
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Cybe R. Wizard

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An old friend was once told that he was inadequately endowed.  

Offended, he replied::

I tell you I've seen nothing finer
than my helmeted one-eyed love miner.
It's perfect I figger,
don't need nothing bigger.
What you need's a bit less vaginer.
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Cybe R. Wizard

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I can't write these lims on computers
unless I've had several shooters,
and if they'd be good
then I really should
toke up on some really big hooters.

But I don't want any with joints in 'em!
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Cybe R. Wizard

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A local tavern.  I'm afraid to go in.
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There is a place here in Chicago that advertises Vagitarian Soup. I'd order it, but I am afraid of how the old mama-san might serve it.
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Cybe R. Wizard

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She's on vacay...

Oh, bother!  My lim talent's lame.
I've let that brain part lapse.  For shame!
I've tried 'em with whiskey
and other things risky,
but quit it for want of a dame.

My gal'd put me right in the mood
for a lover is limerick food
and pounding one makes
me make less mistakes
and then my lims turn out real good.

AARRRGGGGHHHHH!  Drat.

...wish she'd come back home soon!
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Cybe R. Wizard

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I didn't like cake but e'er long
I found what she'd do for a song.
Shoulda seen her astound-
ed face when she found,
in her Twinkie box, my Ding Dong.

Oh, Suzy-Q!
She was  a Hostess with the mostest!
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Cybe R. Wizard

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Di-dat.

This limerick I'm trying to force
it, therefore, won't be good, of course.
It's a very bad ode
because I know no code
but for it I have no Re: Morse.
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Cybe R. Wizard

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Someone told me you can't have sex in space because there's no friction.

No friction in space?  Au contraire!
There's lots of great friction out there,
but if your depravity
depends upon <gravity>,
there's not a whole lot there to spare.

I use a great big rubber band 
if bump and grind's what I have planned.
I get 'em real strong,
they last all night long,
I tell ya, they're in big demand.

Snugly wrap the big band 'round your butt
and your honey's, get ready to strut
in time to the dance
of spatial romance,
but do not, the hull plates, headbutt.

And if you start turning, resist!
I know it's fun, but I insist.
Centripetal force
will wither his horse
when, finally, you start to untwist.

It's verified, there's no refutin'
of forces involved, no disputin'.
Our fun in the raw
is due to First Law
of Motion by Sir Issac Newton.

But if you want really hot sex,
and like things that just may perplex,
join Schroedinger, Bohr
Heisenburg, and more,
Experience quantum effects!

And, dearest, before you have slept on
board the ship we know you crept on
to in the night,
it seems only right
if quantumly, you would be lepton.

I got a big hadron for you, babe.  I feel a strong 
interaction coming on.
1
Robyn Richards's profile photoCybe R. Wizard's profile photo
2 comments
 
+Robyn Richards - thank you from the bottom of my heart.  
I hesitate to admit that they are one and all old(er) ones of mine from the Usenet group, alt.jokes.limericks.  I've long lamented the fact that the group went to hell when most ISPs dropped Usenet and thought I'd post a few in an attempt to engage interest.  
C'mon, write a few of your own.  The meter is easy and they like to end with a pun.  Go for it!
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Cybe R. Wizard

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The sickest limerick(s) ever written:

We're down with the flu and the croup,
the palsy's made Our eyelid droop,
while dancing inside Us
is good old St. Vitus,
and We surely do wish We could poop.

On Our /whole/ body We've got the Pox,
there's an itching down inside Our jocks,
Fahrenheit; 104,
We've got pimples galore,
and We're dripping weird stuff from Our cocks.

We've got the disease, Legionnaire,
Our hair's falling out, and We swear,
Our glands are all swollen,
cancer's up in Our colon,
and of hernias, We've got a pair.

They say cerebral meningitis
or hydro-encephalitis
is rotting Our brain,
We're going insane,
and there's tapeworms deep down inside Us.

We've chancres, and boils, and red spots,
some pustules and little black dots,
and the Doc said so, didn't he?  
That We've lost a kidney,
and, damn it, Our blood never clots.

It just is a Hell of a thing
For a /very/ good bloodline to bring
such things to a Lad.
And to make matters bad,
She /won't/ die and let Us be King.
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Have him in circles
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Basic Information
Gender
Male
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Married
Other names
Cybe, Top Heavy
Story
Tagline
Think! It ain't illegal yet.
Introduction
I'm an unreconstructed hippie, Linux user and long-time curmudgeon who has recently become Also Known As: Top Heavy.  
I worked most all of my life either building or fixing domiciles.
I have lots (and lots and lots...) of hobbies.  It seems that I have a new one weekly.
Bragging rights
Wife and both daughters are black belts, Elder daughter, second degree. All three work in mostly male, non-traditional (for women) jobs
Work
Occupation
Wizardy stuff
Skills
Doing Wizardy stuff
Employment
  • Suzie Paints LLC
    Wizardy stuff, 1991 - present
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
WizardsTower in the Quiet Forest
Previously
Memphis, TN - Lafayette, LA - New Orleans, LA - Houston, TX - Manchester, MO - Aubrey, AR
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Cybe R. Wizard's +1's are the things they like, agree with, or want to recommend.
Extra Hidden Utilities
market.android.com

All devices with Android system has a lot of codes and unreachable menus . When these codes are executed either directly via the application

IVONA Céline French beta
market.android.com

IVONA - The leader in realistic, natural-sounding &amp; accurate TTS voices for your Android device.No more robotic, sythesized voices. IVONA fo

StarCraft 2 Assistant
market.android.com

StarCraft II is the most popular strategy game of all time featuring three distinct ’races’ whose armies comprise entirely unique units. Eac

VZ Navigator Voice Control
market.android.com

VZ Navigator Voice Control provides the most comfortable way to start navigation. You don't have to type destination on keyboard, just say t

Full Screen Weather - Chrome Web Store
chrome.google.com

The world's most interactive and user-friendly weather map from Weather Underground has gone full screen.

Mozilla | FIGHT SOPA
donate.mozilla.org

Mozilla Firefox. Mozilla. Desktop. Features; Security; Performance; Customization; Technology; Videos; Tour; Future Releases. Mobile. Mobile

Oh Shit, I’m A Racist
uncrunched.com

"I don’t think Mike Arrington is a racist" - Angela Benton It's never a good day when people you don't know are having a raging Internet

Gambrel - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
en.wikipedia.org

Barn with a gambrel roof. A gambrel (also known as a Dutch gambrel) is a usually-symmetrical two-sided roof with two slopes on each side. Th

10 Deadly Enemies that Humans Turned Into Servants
io9.com

We hear a lot, in science fiction, about things that now serve us but will soon kill us. Like robots. But what about the reverse — things th

FreshLook
market.android.com

FreshLook® color contacts on your own eyes in just a simple click!Virtually try FreshLook® color contacts on your own eyes in just a simple

SABMobile
market.android.com

Manage your SABnzbd+ remotely from anywhere, with your Androphone !*** Please do not write problem reports in the comments of the Android Ma

Jelly Bean Keyboard
market.android.com

Android Jelly Bean Keyboard from Android 4.1 ported to work on your device! Alternative android keyboard. Now includes split keyboard for th

Why Ubuntu 11.10 fills me with rage | ZDNet
www.zdnet.com

Mr. Shuttleworth, Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

Teen Punished for Stopping Bullies From Harassing a Special Needs Girl
www.takepart.com

Bullying incident raises the question: Why are schools slow to respond to harassment complaints?

War on Religion? You Wanted It, You Got It!
courtneylynnsopinion.wordpress.com

You religious zealots keep touting “war on religion” yet there is no war on religion, until now. I officially declare that I am at war with