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A. B. Funkhauser
70 followers -
Mother. Mortician. Monkey.
Mother. Mortician. Monkey.

70 followers
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GO BRAVELY, PIONEER. A BLOGPOST ON NAVIGATING THE INDIEVERSE. We all had to start somewhere. But what happens after the first manuscript is punched out? I found Writescape. Not a school, but a collective offering workshops, masterclasses and writer retreats for authors brand new and emerging, it helped me find my voice. Four years after my first class, I have three published works of fiction and a fourth on the way. (Thank you NaNoWriMo for keeping me on track in November!) It was like coming home when Writescape's Gwynn Scheltema asked me to contribute a guest blog on being indie in the IndieVerse. I'm fond of saying that writing is so much more than writing. What I really mean is that tasks change dramatically after the "THE END". Take a look: http://writescape.ca/site/2017/11/go-bravely-pioneer/ #indieauthor #witerpromo #marketing #Writescape #ABFunkhauser

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Why do a newsletter when I have a blog?

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Good morning everyone. Today finds me doubly excited. First, my third book, SHELL GAME, launched on September 21st with great success. Offered as a free giveaway for three days, it made the top 20 rank on Amazon in Satire for three days and held steady in the top 200 for almost a week-- a lot of downloads to be sure.

Second, I have received some new reviews on an old friend, my number 1: HEUER LOST AND FOUND. Basically, they say the same thing: "He's a bad, bad guy, but I can't stop rooting for him." I'm thrilled. He's my first anit-hero and I nailed him on the first outing.

Heuer (a German name that rhymes with "lawyer") is a man trapped. Dead at 50, he feels cheated and is very vocal about it to the four walls. But it's not until he arrives at the funeral home where his ex Enid Engler works as a mortician that he learns the difficult art of introspection.
Today's tidbit comes from the first act where Heuer gets the hang of following Enid around but cannot yet communicate with her. The rat in the passage is a rat and a very special one; he is the funeral home mascot and has more than death in common with Jurgen Heuer.

EXCERPT

In the calm of the garage, she wound Rat up into a durable plastic cocoon fashioned from the white non-descript sheeting spooled up on a large roll suspended on the back wall; the same kind of sheeting used on Heuer at the coroner’s office. Next, she grabbed two pink fluid bottles from the cabinet behind her, stuffing them, along with her package, into a bright orange oversized handbag which reflected beautifully the amber gradients in her big yellow eyes.
“What are you playing at?” Heuer asked, taken with the wry comedy of the situation. “You have a dead rat in your purse.”
She clutched Rat close to her heart.
“Heuer was my brother’s friend,” she said, repeating the lie to make it true, “but a mere sideshow to my own life.” She smiled, looking through him. “Weren’t you?”
“Look for me,” he urged. “You are my legacy.”
Fueled by a new resolve, Enid walked past him heading for the back door and its three steps that tripped her earlier that day; these marked the line between Heuer’s world and hers.“I don’t even have a picture of you,” she cried out, choked.
“You don’t need one. You know me.”
She took great care, taking each step slowly, deliberately, looking down at her feet like she used to do when they slow danced. Then she walked through, slamming the door behind her.
Softly, imperceptibly, he traced his elegant fingers along the ancient beveled glass set deep into the heavy door, its mottled surface reminding him of lurid time and its weary effects on unprotected surfaces. How he wanted to follow. How decidedly he could not. He tried the door once and then again, as if to confirm the one single undisputed fact at hand: he was anchored to this place and try as he might, no single amount of effort would allow him to cross the divide.

Find Heuer, Shell Game and Scooter Nation on my amazon author page: www.amazon.com/author/abfunkhauser

#Solstice Publishing #Teaser #A.B. Funkhauser
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Thrilled to announce that my three day giveaway on Amazon.com and .ca was an amazing success. I made it to top 10 (Satire) for about two hours, but stayed in the top 20 for three days on .com. Further, I made it to #271 over all for Canada on .ca. That's a lot of downloads. Now, if 1% actually reads and likes it, maybe, maybe, maybe they'll buy the others? Who knows.
Anyway, I'd just like to thank everyone here for downloading the beastie/spreading the word to others. It really, really worked.
--A.B.
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HE'S DARK. HE'S SEXY. He's the gardener. Will a shy widow let down her guard even if it means getting with the animals? #Amazon #Top20 in #Satire goes behind the masks people wear to see their true jungle. #FREEBOOK until Saturday Midnight EST September 23. GET YOURS NOW. https://www.amazon.com/Shell-Game-Black-Cat-Novel-ebook/dp/B075M1K43Z/
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Excited and humbled by SHELL GAME's fabulous reception. THANK YOU!

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SHELL GAME #FREE Days continue with the little satire that could holding in the top 20 position for freebies on the .com. In Canada, doing slightly better over all holding at #455 in the freebie store. Anyone keen on helping a fellow struggling artist boost her numbers, the links are here. Freebies continue thru to midnight Saturday September 23. TYSM!

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B075M1K43Z/ref=pe_386430_122413350_TE_DP

https://www.amazon.com/Shell-Game-Black-Cat-Novel-ebook/dp/B075M1K43Z/

Thanks for being there!
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I really had to think about this one. A.B. Funkhauser get's the gonzo interview treatment with Cryssa Bazos.
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