Customer: “Hi, my son says that I have Spartans on my laptop and I should bring it to you guys.”
Tech Support: “…Ma’am? Spartans?”
Customer: “Yes, I called my son at school and told him that screens keep popping up all the time, and he said that I have Spartans.”
Me: “Oh! You mean Trojans! That’s a possibility; let me run this analyzer on your laptop real quick and we’ll see what’s going on.”
Customer: “Young man, my son is in college and he says it has Spartans. You just stand here in a little uniform and make minimum wage. I think my son knows what he is talking about.”
Tech Support: “You’re right ma’am. I was hoping to run a diagnostic and find out that it wasn’t Spartans, but just by looking at the login screen, I can tell that you probably have about 300 of the little guys running around.”
Customer: “300?! Is that bad?”
Tech Support: “It’s horrible. They cram themselves into a bottleneck and kill wave after wave of data, until there is a wall of dead programs blocking any more traffic through your computer.”
Customer: “Oh, that just figures. I’m going to go buy a new computer.”
Tech Support: “Ok, ma’am, I think that would be best.”
more: Can't Fix Stupid: Ridiculous Tech Support Quotes http://chach.ee/sLy1vc
QUOTE: [Craig S Wright ] says: I was contracted to test the systems on a Boeing 747. They had added a new video system that ran over IP. They segregated this from the control systems using layer 2 - VLANs. We managed to break the VLANs and access other systems and with source routing could access the Engine management systems.
The response, "the engine management system is out of scope."
For those who do not know, 747's are big flying Unix hosts. At the time, the engine management system on this particular airline was Solaris based. The patching was well behind and they used telnet as SSH broke the menus and the budget did not extend to fixing this. The engineers could actually access the engine management system of a 747 in route. If issues are noted, they can re-tune the engine in air.
The issue here is that all that separated the engine control systems and the open network was NAT based filters. There were (and as far as I know this is true today), no extrusion controls. They filter incoming traffic, but all outgoing traffic is allowed. For those who engage in Pen Testing and know what a shoveled shell is... I need not say more.
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