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Dr. Noelle C. Nelson
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You Matter. You Count. You Are Important.
You Matter. You Count. You Are Important.

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How do you break the argument cycle? Refuse to get defensive. Go straight to problem solving.

When an argument starts, find something, anything your partner just said that you can agree with, and say “you’re right.” As in “You’re right. I spend a lot of our money.” And then be quiet. I promise you, the argument will stop right there. If you refuse to defend, there is no argument. And taking advantage of your partner's stunned silence, you can go right on to problem-solving. Jump in with “I need us to talk about our financial situation. It’s not OK the way it is. We can figure this out.”

Defensiveness doesn’t work. Get to agreement as fast as you can – from there, you’ll find workable solutions.

https://www.facebook.com/Dr.NoelleNelson/?ref=settings
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Meet an “AMAZING!” dedicated to serving our country in war and peace!

FRANK HUNT, 90, started volunteering for the Pasco County Sheriff’s Department Civilian Service Unit at 73, when he figured that sitting around doing nothing much (after retiring from his career in the printing industry) just wasn’t cutting it. As a WWII vet, he valued the idea of service to his country, and was happy to find a new way of contributing! In 2016, he was invited by the Honor Flight Network (a nonprofit organization that flies veterans to Washington, D.C.), along with his son, to participate in a free trip to see the nation's war memorials. Frank walked the whole length of the monument trail on his own, just like he walks the parking lots in Pasco County twice a week, looking for people who park illegally in handicapped spots, and other such infractions. He’s considered a true asset to his community by the Sheriff’s Department. Agreed!

For Amazings, go to http://www.Facebook.com/MeetTheAmazings.
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Meet an “Amazing” Whose Warmth and Charm Contribute Mightily to Her Success

The UK's Vera Watkins, at 80, is a recent proud recipient of CAMRA’s (Campaign for Real Ale) “Pub of the Season” award, for her Carpenters Arms pub, already listed among the UK’s best 50 independent country pubs. Vera enjoys running the pub, greeting her customers, sitting and chatting with them. To her, it’s more than a business. The pub is her home, one in which she does not tolerate rude behavior, arguing or foul language. People from all over, tourists, as well as local folk, cyclists and many others, return again and again to her establishment--as much for the warmth and charm as for the excellent ale. Truly, attitude matters!

For more Amazings, go to http://www.Facebook.com/MeetTheAmazings.

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Meet an "Amazing” Who Celebrated His 80th on the Mound
Bob Nicklason, at 80, celebrated his special birthday sprinting around the softball field of his beloved Fresno Senior Softball League, which in turn was celebrating its 25th year. Bob has been with the League for 21 years, and is known by his teammates for his good humor and upbeat spirit. A semi-retired raisin farmer (who firmly believes eating a lot of raisins is good for you!) and Vet, Bob plays for the exercise and for the pleasure of connection with like-minded folks. His philosophy of life is simple: live day-to-day, ‘cause you don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Wise words indeed.

For more Amazings, go to http://www.Facebook.com/MeetTheAmazings.

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Margaret Manning of Sixty & Me talked about one of my recent columns on perseverance on her most recent video. Thank you Margaret! https://youtu.be/HqyL3Pwf0Qs
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Meet an “Amazing” With Youthful Spirit and Tapping Toes to Match
Marcella Ward, at 89, loves nothing more than to tap-dance the day away! A member of “The Jazzy Tappers” (most of whom are in their 80s) at the Toowoomba Senior Citizens Club in Queensland, Australia, she started learning tap in her senior years. Hesitant at first, not at all sure that she could do it, Marcella found – much to her delight – that she could, and she loved it! As much as she cherishes her three daughters, six grandchildren, and ten great-grand-children, tap is something she would never want to give up. Marcella’s philosophy is terrific; you’re only as young as you feel within yourself. Agreed!

For more Amazings, go to http://www.Facebook.com/MeetTheAmazings.

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Meet an “AMAZING!” who uplifts and inspires Vets in need!

TIM SELLS, at 87, is still a force for the good of many—although his ability to uplift comes from what could have been the end of everything for him. As a soldier in the Korean war, a land mine blew the ammunition-carrying vehicle he was driving, paralyzing Tim. A Purple Heart and several surgeries and years later, he was able to walk with crutches, and since, in addition to marriage, his children, and work, has been an officer and Board member of the Kentucky-Indiana Chapter of the Paralyzed Veterans of America. As such, Tim spends time talking with other paralyzed vets, empathizing with their current state, and helping them to understand that the future can be a lot brighter. His positivity and upbeat attitude is what inspires others. As his wife says, “He’s a warrior, not a worrier.”

For more Amazings, go to http://www.Facebook.com/MeetTheAmazings.
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Stories like this remind me to get off my pity-party whenever a problem hits, and turn as quickly as possible to the solution. Because there always is a solution. How soon we get there simply depends on our willingness to turn our attention squarely in that direction.

http://bit.ly/2MzAKgI
Solution! Solution! Solution!
Solution! Solution! Solution!
anotefromdrnoelle.blogspot.com
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Meet an “Amazing” Whose Exuberance and Faith Makes Winners

Jean Dolores Schmidt, a Catholic nun who at 98, is more commonly known as “Sister Jean,” made headlines when the Loyola Ramblers, the basketball team for whom she is the chaplain, went all the way to the Final Four for the first time since 1963, largely due—many say—to her ardent prayers! But Sister Jean has been an outstanding member of the Loyola University Chicago community for many years, and a basketball enthusiast since she first played basketball in high school.

Sister Jean does more than pray – she scouts the players on opposing teams, and offers input that positively blows away head coach Porter Moser. Sister Jean smiles all the time, reflecting the joy she takes in her work and life. She believes that she spreads God’s word best not by talking so much as by her presence. She loves people, and it shows!

For more Amazings, go to http://www.Facebook.com/MeetTheAmazings.

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Meet an “Amazing” Who Stretches the Limits of Shaping the Human Body

Jim Arrington, 84, not only has “abs of steel” but a whole “body of steel,” having just been named in the Guinness World Records 2018 as the world’s oldest male bodybuilder. He’s been body-building since he was 15. Talk about persistence – as Jim says, bodybuilding is hard work, and beyond the obvious necessity for goal setting, “You need to love the training.” Since his retirement as a sales and purchasing professional, in addition to entering (and winning) umpteen body-building competitions, Jim enjoys time with his wife and family (including great-grandchildren), listening to classical music, tinkering around the house, traveling, and Formula 1 racing. How’s that for a diversity of experiences!

http://www.Facebook.com/MeetTheAmazings

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