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SJB Gilmour
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SJB Gilmour

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Should I be flattered or disturbed someone's favouriting and retweeting one of my tweets from 4.5 years ago?
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It was me. Why don't you come down to the basement for a little chat.
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I have no words...

  "18th-Century Sex Toy Found In Ancient Latrine" : Discovery News http://news.discovery.com/history/archaeology/18th-century-sex-toy-found-in-ancient-latrine-150415.htm
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I can think of a couple. 
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SJB Gilmour

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I ran out of numbers, pure and simple.  So, to make up for that, here are the films I’d have included if I’d done a top 125:  (Oh, the numbered list thingy won’t let me start at a number other than 1, so I’ll just have to trust you to do the math…
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SJB Gilmour

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SMH. Question no 58 in a house with 2 pre-teen girls: "Why is there glitter in my pasta?"
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SJB Gilmour

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Aaaaargh! I be dumbass.

Last week, my filing system - which is basically me waiting for the huge pile of paper on my desk to get so high it falls over and spills everywhere, forcing me to tidy up - revealed a cheque from Amazon, the existence of which I'd completely forgotten.

So, I went over to the bank and deposited it. Then today I get the call. The cheque was "stale-dated", which apparently is US bank-speak for being past its expiration date. Soooo, now I have the delight of waiting for a new payment from Amazon, while also having to cough up the $ for both the foreign currency payment, which I'll have to pay again, as well as the dishonour fee.

F%$#. If only Amazon would do a direct debit payment into my account the way Smashwords can, but ooooh no, I have to have a US address and US account. F%$#rs.
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My iPhone rang. I didn't recognise the number.

Me: "Hello?"
Her: "Hi I'm (forget her name already) from (forgot the name already) Insurance."
Me: "Is this a sales call?"
Her: "No, I'm not selling anything. Have you hear of (forgot the name already) Insurance before?"
Me: "So it is a sales call, and you answered my first question with a lie."

Then I hung up.

I didn't let loose with my normal stream of profanity, since co-workers were close by, but boy, did I want to.

What the idiot call centre people didn't do, however, is block their own number. If you feel like having fun with insurance sales people, call them - but remember this is an Australian number and if you're not a local, it might cost you a bit.

0475 456 919
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SJB Gilmour

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WooHoo!  Just received a delivery from Lego so Miss8 and I can build our planned jungle temple house for Miss Minty our little python.  Can't wait for the weekend!
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SJB Gilmour

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OmyGodOmyGodOmyGod!!!   "Galaxy's Edge Magazine to Publish Super-Rare Robert A. Heinlein Story!"

 http://www.sfsignal.com/archives/2015/03/galaxys-edge-magazine-to-publish-super-rare-robert-a-heinlein-story/ … via @sfsignal
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Have him in circles
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SJB Gilmour

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Mum found this book, and accompanying sachet of yeast starter, in a book sale. It dates back to 1990. Do I dare open the sachet and unleash the yeast???
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SJB Gilmour

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In a cafe with my father this morning, we got to talking about our favourite films.  One of his is Ghostbusters.  We got to musing about our top ten favourites.  Not having a pen, I began counting on my fingers.  I ran out pretty quick.  I would have…
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Ghostbusters, definitely
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SJB Gilmour

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Makes me glad I'm a Pastafarian.

 "Sandwich Monday: The Passover Sandwich"

 http://n.pr/1NyZIYT 
For this week's Sandwich Monday, we introduce our non-Jewish colleagues to the wonders of the Passover lunch. Manischewitz rules this meal.
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SJB Gilmour

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THE X-FILES IS OFFICIALLY COMING BACK! Rinse out your black t-shirt with "I want to believe" on it, because it's freaking happening, people. Mulder and Scully are returning!!!!
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Fantasy writer. Bi-phasic rapid cycler. Bad influence. Nerd.
Introduction
Fantasy Writer. Book & film nerd. Unrepentant carnivore.  Dog person.  I can get cranky.

I'm an indy author and proud of it, hence the whole Amazon KDP Select thing, but when it comes to exposure, I have no shame!  If it'll get me sales or publicity, (and perhaps maybe the attention of a traditional publisher who'll take me on,) I'll do just about anything.

If you're one of my contacts, either through email, social media or even the day-job, you can expect the occasional email from me if I have any big news like when I'm doing a free promo or releasing a new story.

Now if that rubs you up the wrong way, and I know it might, you really shouldn't put your email address in your public profile.  If you do get an email from me, don't get all huffy.  Just reply with a simple "Shut up already!  I've got enough going on in my own life without you filling up my inbox with your self-promotional garbage!", and I'll remove you from my address book.

I also do the odd review occasionally, but it's usually on a you-review-mine, I'll-review-yours basis.

Other random pieces and bits...

I don't fold - I scrunch.  I don't like broad (lima) beans.  If curry isn't hot enough to make me sweat, it's not hot enough.  It's never too early for a hamburger.

Whenever possible, my backpack contains a compass, torch (that's a flashlight to you non-Aussies) and a Swiss army knife.

'I like their old stuff better than their new stuff' can be applied to just about every band's album I've ever purchased.

You know those 3D posters that are all squiggles until you focus your eyes away from them to see the image?  I've never been able to see the image.

Oh, one more thing.  If you've made it to the bottom of this, then you've just earned yourself a gold star.  Well done.  You've proved you can pay attention.  

Now stop messing about online and go do some work.  Better yet, go check out my books.  Who knows, you might find something you like!





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SJB Gilmour's +1's are the things they like, agree with, or want to recommend.
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