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bob melonosky
Worked at National Lampoon as a Contributing Writer for a couple of months until we all were replaced with videos of frat guys peeing in their pants -- but I'm not bitter.
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bob melonosky

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R.I.P. Grantland
A tribute... I will now have to find another way to kill 2 hours everyday.   Maybe exercise or human interaction?  Nah. That's convicted liar Roger Goodell with underutilized Cleo Rocos.
A tribute... I will now have to find another way to kill 2 hours everyday. Maybe exercise or human interaction? Nah. That's convicted liar Roger Goodell with underutilized Cleo Rocos.
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bob melonosky

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This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 10/22/15
Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see
each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of
crap for my blog. When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through ski...
Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog. When you really, really need to see cel...
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bob melonosky

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Donald Trump not just a Rightwing Nutjob
Donald Trump, rightwing nutjob and anti-vaxxer nutjob, that's a winning combination!!!
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bob melonosky

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A Not Dirty Limerick - The Mom From West Orange
I wrote this not dirty limerick while driving home from the beach.  There was a reason but you will never know.  The Mom From West Orange There once was a mom from West Orange With shrubbery so thick you could forage All day and all night For the tiniest bi...
I wrote this not dirty limerick while driving home from the beach.  There was a reason but you will never know.  The Mom From West Orange There once was a mom from West Orange With shrubbery so thick you could forage All ...
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bob melonosky

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Donal Trump Hates Mexicans and Jews. Loves Nazis. Tweet, Tweet.
Donald Trump tweeted this image yesterday of himself and a bunch of Nazis.  Turns out he hates Mexicans and Jews. Don't believe me?  Look. Donald Trump, who never takes responsibility for anything, blamed a young intern. The only thing Republicans love more...
Donald Trump tweeted this image yesterday of himself and a bunch of Nazis.  Turns out he hates Mexicans and Jews. Don't believe me?  Look. Donald Trump, who never takes responsibility for anything, blamed a young intern. Th...
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bob melonosky

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Love Wins!
Love wins! My Jesus is very happy.
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bob melonosky

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This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 10/30/15
Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see
each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of
crap for my blog. When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through ski...
Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog. When you really, really need to see cel...
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bob melonosky

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This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 10/2/15
Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see
each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of
crap for my blog. When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through ski...
Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog. When you really, really need to see cel...
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bob melonosky

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Throwback Thursday - Bob Melonosky, Aerospace Club President
Presenting the 1978 Half Hollow Hills High School Aerospace Club.  We met three times.  The first time we elected officers.  The second time we showed up at School Spirit Night and lost the sack race.  The last time we met for this yearbook photo.  Not too ...
Presenting the 1978 Half Hollow Hills High School Aerospace Club.  We met three times.  The first time we elected officers.  The second time we showed up at School Spirit Night and lost the sack race.  The last time we met fo...
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bob melonosky

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This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 7/16/15
Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see
each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of
crap for my blog. When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through ski...
Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog. When you really, really need to see cel...
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bob melonosky

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This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 7/1/15
Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see
each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of
crap for my blog. When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through ski...
Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog. When you really, really need to see cel...
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bob melonosky

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Bristol Palin Teen Abstinence Queen Pregnant Again
Bristol Palin, The Paid Princess of Teen Abstinence, is pregnant again. Earlier this month,  Bristol Palin tweeted:   How many guys in Alaska are jumping into their 4-wheel drive pickups and heading for Canada today? Here's a rerun from back in the day. DWT...
Bristol Palin, The Paid Princess of Teen Abstinence, is pregnant again. Earlier this month,  Bristol Palin tweeted:   How many guys in Alaska are jumping into their 4-wheel drive pickups and heading for Canada today? ...
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People
Work
Occupation
Eat, pee, shit, sleep. Repeat.
Employment
  • National Lampoon as a Contributing Writer for a couple of months until we all were replaced with videos of frat guys peeing in their pants -- but I'm not bitter.
Basic Information
Gender
Decline to State
Other names
Neil Gaiman
Story
Introduction
Melonosky. Bob Melonosky.
Bragging rights
Created UncleMelon.com, the 43,560th most popular website of the 2000s. I wrote the bit, "How to Eat Pussy," that garnered 270 million readers and 269 million happier pussies.
Education
  • No thank you.