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Brenda Elysium
I am a pilgrim on the journey home.
I am a pilgrim on the journey home.

Brenda's posts

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Betrayal by Pedophilia
I had an interesting discussion with a marriage therapist recently regarding the unique experience of having been betrayed by a pedophile partner.  In the course of our dialogue, I stated that it would have been easier had he betrayed me with another consen...

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Not a Victimless Crime
I knew better but I did it anyway.  I watched a rerun of Law and Order, Special Victims Unit.   The episode focused on the fall-out of child pornography on the victims, and the fact that once an image is on the world-wide web, it is there forever.  Victims ...

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The Gift of Presence
We have experienced two deaths in my extended family in the past few months with another two beloved family members on death's cusp.  Yesterday I sat at the internment of cremains for a husband, father, brother and son who was taken too soon.  I have been t...

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Hope for the New Year
In 2011 I "accidentally" fell into the practice of giving each year a name as a way of establishing my hopes or goals for the upcoming year.  I knew that I was facing a divorce but had no idea of just how traumatic life would become in the coming weeks but ...

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Scrambled Eggs on Christmas Morning
As I stared at the bubbling eggs cooking in the skillet Christmas morning, my mind immediately flashed back to Christmas morning five years ago .  My ex and I had returned from a family Christmas trip the evening before and were alone in our cold Midwestern...

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The Art of Grieving
Someone recently asked me to elaborate on the importance of fully grieving any loss, particularly those associated with having been married to a perpetrator.  I was intrigued by her description of the grief process as an art.  Images of artists painting a m...

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For Better or Worse: Really?
After nearly four decades, I can still remember making these promises to my ex-husband: For better or worse, For richer or poorer, In sickness and in health, To love and to cherish, Til death do us part. While the vows seemed to encompass all of the possibi...

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Living Loved: Random Musings on Loving Self
As is normally the case for me, I'm reading three books at once and it occurs to me that there is a common theme to be found in all three.  Brene Brown provides an intriguing definition of love in The Power of Vulnerability .   Brown says that "Love is not ...

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Living Loved After Betrayal
When I named 2016 the " Year of Living Loved ", as is often the case, I had no idea how hard the year would be.  It seems inevitable that driving a stake in the ground and setting such an ambitious goal would be the perfect set-up for multiple challenges to...

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Broken Hearts
Someone that I love dearly recently experienced the breakup of a romantic relationship and it is entirely appropriate to say that she has had her "heart broken."  there are many things that break a heart--death, rejection, abandonment, betrayal, a wayward c...
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