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I am a duck. I eat bread, quack and do duck things. If you dont share this with ten of your friends in ten minutes I will break into your house and poop in your bathtub. I have a personal reason for posting this. 42% of you will not have the guts to do so.
Keith Borgholthaus's profile photoJussi Lahtinen's profile photoHarry Phillips's profile photoKelly Carlisle's profile photo
I got shit on by a cormorant while fishing last week.
Break into a house and poop in a tub? This is different from any other day of the week, how exactly?
Shared! And quickly with it, I might add. I HATE cleaning the bathroom.
Susan: You can put the clean-up costs on your bill.
Crap. Not enough coffee in my system yet - I just remembered I don't HAVE a bathtub!
I shared it in my Friends circle, which is... erm... where are you are anyway, and 2 of my other circles, which means I've shared it with like, 50ish people. I'm also going to add you to the other 2 circles, which are basically a bunch of techies from Gizmodo. So far you're the only person who isn't actually a friend [a true friend, I mean, not the faux friend acquaintance type] in RL [YET! I think it would be good to remedy that :-)] allowed into my Friends circle/sanctum sanctorum, but I feel very confident that you belong there. You've personally made the few days since we've connected much brighter. Cheers, always. #blushes, kicks dirt#
facepalm You of all people should know I'm not a lady.
Skip forward to the 39 second mark. Apparently the YouTube time-stamp thing's not working. ARE YOU HEARING THIS, GOOGLE??? ARE YOUUU??? Proper punctuation is more important when using capslock, or so I've heard.
The Cable Guy - Jail Phone Scene

I'm not sure you'd be impressed by my boobies, but I'm told I have some impressive junk. Just sayin'. [whistles, walks away]
I think Canadians are more bold than Americans, and also more sexually adventurous. Please discuss.
You just want me to poop in your tub. I see through you, oh yes I do.
If you have to, use that "little tub" next to sink... Damn, how did I get into this conversation...!?
Do you mean within 10 minutes of reading it or 10 minutes of you posting it? You posted this weeks ago and no ducks have shat on me..... yet.
This was back when all the rage on FB was "repost this" and blah blah blah.  Harry, look at the date a little more closely.  Two thousand ELEVEN.