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Wretched Ghost
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36 followers
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Wretched's posts

"They aren't real baby clothes," I rant as I am forcibly removed from an OshKosh B'gosh, "They're fully grown! They're just naturally tiny!"

2073: Government subsidized neural prosthetics fail.
We all forget how music works.
We stare at pianos and angrily whisper 'Thanks Robama'.

"Welp... This next part's going to suck," I whisper to a vast uncaring world as I stare blankly at the ceiling.
Beside me my alarm rings.

She demands to know why I won't let her moisturize my elbows.
"Because I like them scaly," I shrug.
"Why?"
"Makes me feel like a reptile!"


"Would you call my smile 'disarming'?" she asks.
"No," I reply.
She regurgitates the arms of several full grown men.
I must now reconsider.

Protip: when the store clerk asks if you would like anything else don't say "to be compacted and incinerated like the literal garbage I am".

"Gluten free?" Bosco, head baker at Tough Man's bakery, sneers. "Lady, all our junk has glueleven!"

The customer faints in horror.

The gritty dinosaur cop blows the smoke from the barrel of his revolver.

"In this city I'm judge, jury, and t-rexecutioner," he growls.

I have been throwing a lot of shade lately.
That I can now grasp and manipulate something that is supposed to be intangible should worry us.

Life hack: any sword can be a magical sword if you have enough wizard blood lying around.
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