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Wretched Ghost
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Wretched Ghost

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"They aren't real baby clothes," I rant as I am forcibly removed from an OshKosh B'gosh, "They're fully grown! They're just naturally tiny!"
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Wretched Ghost

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2073: Government subsidized neural prosthetics fail.
We all forget how music works.
We stare at pianos and angrily whisper 'Thanks Robama'.
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Wretched Ghost

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She demands to know why I won't let her moisturize my elbows.
"Because I like them scaly," I shrug.
"Why?"
"Makes me feel like a reptile!"

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Wretched Ghost

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Protip: when the store clerk asks if you would like anything else don't say "to be compacted and incinerated like the literal garbage I am".
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Wretched Ghost

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The gritty dinosaur cop blows the smoke from the barrel of his revolver.

"In this city I'm judge, jury, and t-rexecutioner," he growls.
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Wretched Ghost

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Life hack: any sword can be a magical sword if you have enough wizard blood lying around.
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Wretched Ghost

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"Them's fightin' words right there," I growl.
"Wha?" Cody asks, "'We're going to committee'?"
Thinking he said 'kumite' I hide my nunchucks.
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Have them in circles
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Wretched Ghost

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"Welp... This next part's going to suck," I whisper to a vast uncaring world as I stare blankly at the ceiling.
Beside me my alarm rings.
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Wretched Ghost

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"Would you call my smile 'disarming'?" she asks.
"No," I reply.
She regurgitates the arms of several full grown men.
I must now reconsider.
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"Gluten free?" Bosco, head baker at Tough Man's bakery, sneers. "Lady, all our junk has glueleven!"

The customer faints in horror.
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Wretched Ghost

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I have been throwing a lot of shade lately.
That I can now grasp and manipulate something that is supposed to be intangible should worry us.
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Wretched Ghost

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"And that's why you are going to die alone," my girlfriend explains, "surrounded by boat husks."
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People
Have them in circles
36 people
Mandie Clark's profile photo
Aren Samuelsen's profile photo
Ben Koehler's profile photo
Anthony Ferraiolo's profile photo
Mack Mathieu's profile photo
Doug Lewis's profile photo
Joseph Doyle's profile photo
MST3k Fanbots's profile photo
Daniel Finley's profile photo
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