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Wretched Ghost
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Wretched Ghost

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"They aren't real baby clothes," I rant as I am forcibly removed from an OshKosh B'gosh, "They're fully grown! They're just naturally tiny!"
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Wretched Ghost

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"Welp... This next part's going to suck," I whisper to a vast uncaring world as I stare blankly at the ceiling.
Beside me my alarm rings.
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Wretched Ghost

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"Would you call my smile 'disarming'?" she asks.
"No," I reply.
She regurgitates the arms of several full grown men.
I must now reconsider.
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Wretched Ghost

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"Gluten free?" Bosco, head baker at Tough Man's bakery, sneers. "Lady, all our junk has glueleven!"

The customer faints in horror.
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Wretched Ghost

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I have been throwing a lot of shade lately.
That I can now grasp and manipulate something that is supposed to be intangible should worry us.
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Wretched Ghost

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"And that's why you are going to die alone," my girlfriend explains, "surrounded by boat husks."
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Wretched Ghost

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2073: Government subsidized neural prosthetics fail.
We all forget how music works.
We stare at pianos and angrily whisper 'Thanks Robama'.
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Wretched Ghost

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She demands to know why I won't let her moisturize my elbows.
"Because I like them scaly," I shrug.
"Why?"
"Makes me feel like a reptile!"

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Wretched Ghost

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Protip: when the store clerk asks if you would like anything else don't say "to be compacted and incinerated like the literal garbage I am".
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Wretched Ghost

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The gritty dinosaur cop blows the smoke from the barrel of his revolver.

"In this city I'm judge, jury, and t-rexecutioner," he growls.
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Wretched Ghost

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Life hack: any sword can be a magical sword if you have enough wizard blood lying around.
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Wretched Ghost

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"Them's fightin' words right there," I growl.
"Wha?" Cody asks, "'We're going to committee'?"
Thinking he said 'kumite' I hide my nunchucks.
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