I bet I could slap up baddly drawn anime tiddy and get a couple thousand likes no problem... It's like any other art hosting site ever I guess~ Blargh had to ramble about this.
And when I'm not turning into a self-hating ball of goo thanks to rainstorms and remembering how utterly fucking useless and stupid I am, I'm worrying about friends and family and what possible horrible things that may come for year-end bullshit. Will the van break down? Will a bill be unexpectedly high? Will someone become sick? Injured? Need a surgery? Can't get one? Gets one but it doens't help? Something goes wrong and makes them need a whole different surgery? Someone loses their job? House on fire? Bedbugs? Broken computer, phone, or other important thing? I could be so optimistic, it would literally make me physically ill and make me puke blood and this kind of shit always always ALWAYS pops up at the end of the year. I can't help but worry. And after this year of bad news, body pain, and horrible stuff, I can't help but pray that SOMETHING out there just gives us a break. Maybe for once that shit won't happen. Maybe someone's life will change for the better. Maybe for fucking god damn once things work out for the better and no one is shit on or kicked while down. Fuck me I'm willing to just auction off things just for the universe to cut me and my friends/family some slack. I'll give up my leg. I'll give up my voice. I'll give up my shitty drawing. Just...fucking stop.... No more pain. No more prolonged pain. No more added pain when pain is there. Fucking. PLEASE. This whole year has been nothing but people being hurt, bullshit happening and letting vile people spin it into their toxic agenda, and every lucky break ends up covering for two worse things right afterwards... I'm getting a grey streak in my hair from trying not to crack. If something major happens within the end of the year here, I don't know... I'm just....done.
I don't even know what I'm saying anymore... I'm super tired right now and just feel fucking horrible. Can't help others. Getting too hard to help myself. Fucking...whatever... I remember why I cut back on posting things. Too many things clusterfucking what I WANT to say and everything is coming out like half-melted rock candy. #movetodeletesoon
Semi-related note: If I had the money to buy clothing stuff I want, I'd end up looking like a JoJo character or some kind of tacky scene gypsy. I've never had the idea of what kind of theme I'd want to wear, but I have lots of things I'd want and would just throw it on with anything else.
- You saw my laws outfit thing based on stuff I want. "Checkered gloves, colorful scarf, sleeveless hoodie, yeah no these are okay to just throw on together~" X3 I can't help it... I can't fit into set things, so I just collect single items I like and wear it regardless!
Adventure Time - Jake Suit Scene (actually spit my coffee out)
this is currently dislike buffer :D
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