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Raiku Oyasumi
52 followers -
Time to neglect some social sites!
Time to neglect some social sites!

52 followers
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Raiku's posts

So many dreams of being a floofy monster thing but doing junk.  Lemme be a floofy monser thing and lay around eating brownies and sipping tea or something damn it.

I hate white walls for rooms.  But feel like it'd be a bother/burden if I asked tanuki if I could have my room painted like Jess/Ace (and maybe Dame if he thought about it at all).  Yet, I realized I have been carrying two paint sample color swatches in my wallet for nearly a decade now...  Despite knowing I'd never paint a room, I held onto these things for ten years.  It's all weird and coincidental.....Why did I hang onto these this whole time?

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Blerg.  Dumb little doodle of squid-dog with "degs" got me 94 Yeahs on Miiverse for the first Splatfest (half of them within the first ten minutes).  Actually put some effort in drawing in the tiny Wii U screen to make a water slide reference for yesterday's Splatfest, and got only 3 Yeahs with a comment saying they liked the picture and are a huge Bill & Ted fan.  

I bet I could slap up baddly drawn anime tiddy and get a couple thousand likes no problem...  It's like any other art hosting site ever I guess~  Blargh had to ramble about this.
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monster fursona generator thing from some day ago.  After all the rainy days we had here, I sure felt like a slimey goo thing~  Civets are like cousins to binturongs, so that's more awesome.
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I just don't know how to write what's on my mind without sounding like a fucking crybaby.  Body is shit, mind is shit, everything I want to do is ruined or abandoned/put on hold for ever thanks to my mood/drive taking a dive after shit happens or I talk to my mom or whatever...  Whole year and I've finished a whole not one single thing.  BIG but easy project isn't touched.  No new official updated refs for characters STILL.  Haven't made anything for the channel and Ace made the VS opening I said I'd do for like three years.  

And when I'm not turning into a self-hating ball of goo thanks to rainstorms and remembering how utterly fucking useless and stupid I am, I'm worrying about friends and family and what possible horrible things that may come for year-end bullshit.  Will the van break down?  Will a bill be unexpectedly high?  Will someone become sick?  Injured?  Need a surgery?  Can't get one?  Gets one but it doens't help?  Something goes wrong and makes them need a whole different surgery?  Someone loses their job?  House on fire?  Bedbugs?  Broken computer, phone, or other important thing?  I could be so optimistic, it would literally make me physically ill and make me puke blood and this kind of shit always always ALWAYS pops up at the end of the year.  I can't help but worry.  And after this year of bad news, body pain, and horrible stuff, I can't help but pray that SOMETHING out there just gives us a break.  Maybe for once that shit won't happen.  Maybe someone's life will change for the better.  Maybe for fucking god damn once things work out for the better and no one is shit on or kicked while down.  Fuck me I'm willing to just auction off things just for the universe to cut me and my friends/family some slack.  I'll give up my leg.  I'll give up my voice.  I'll give up my shitty drawing.  Just...fucking stop....  No more pain.  No more prolonged pain.  No more added pain when pain is there.  Fucking.  PLEASE.  This whole year has been nothing but people being hurt, bullshit happening and letting vile people spin it into their toxic agenda, and every lucky break ends up covering for two worse things right afterwards...  I'm getting a grey streak in my hair from trying not to crack.  If something major happens within the end of the year here, I don't know...  I'm just....done.  

I don't even know what I'm saying anymore...  I'm super tired right now and just feel fucking horrible.  Can't help others.  Getting too hard to help myself.  Fucking...whatever...  I remember why I cut back on posting things.  Too many things clusterfucking what I WANT to say and everything is coming out like half-melted rock candy.   #movetodeletesoon  

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I miss swapnote....gotta make due with Miiverse I guess~
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Fun halloween pinata Saul form for Steam and whatever.  Fill with candy to make them fat and snuggable, then beat them with a stick to make them burst~  It's like a metaphor for life!
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Did a random post/color scheme generator thing last night.  Figured I'd post here because G+ does need to get used more often sorry.
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On the choice in updating with old thoughts or new stupid drawn stuff, I figured this would make more sense.

Semi-related note:  If I had the money to buy clothing stuff I want, I'd end up looking like a JoJo character or some kind of tacky scene gypsy.  I've never had the idea of what kind of theme I'd want to wear, but I have lots of things I'd want and would just throw it on with anything else.
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Current mood:  depressing melted state.
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