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So when I realized that being open and honest resulted in the need to be willing to be anonymous etc, I returned to my legal training that told me to keep a log of who you talk to, and when 'talk' becomes a problem, is somebody else listening?

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When I worked as a Peer/Self Advocacy Coordinator, defending and protecting the rights of patients in the Mental Health Care System, I realized that many who were considered not competent to stand trial, or not guilty by reason of insanity, were dealing with compound predatory behavior, such as: a rapist stalking your own allegations while law enforcement stalks him.

The combination of predatory behaviors eg: A rapist, and an investigator working on a victim who is pointing to allegations from childhood that were considered frivolous, or unreliable can become so volatile that when allegations are denied, or ignored, drug dealers apparently believe they have a right to forcibly drug the situation.

In order to cope with complex problems like these, I suggest that victims of predatory behavior use their God given right and privilege to write their own treatment plan to cope. Many States use commitment procedures to do away with the problem, rather than prosecute it because it is considered a hopeless condition by them, and therefor cannot be treated by them.

To consent to treatment for a hopeless condition proves that your incompetent, but when the only other option is physical restraint of some kind, most prefer the idea of being a patient. We believe our suggestions might be useful to the exasperation of professionals who don't have the knowledge or time to do this, and offer them the opportunity to consent to our ideas.

Please see: http://imid.us.com/plans.html

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Circa 1984, this piece by an anonymous source turned out to be quite prophetic in my life!
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The more we work an image, the less material remains. If we are expected to create an alternative due to frustration with the original, we have to improve what we began with viably with our own resources.

What our own local subculture has achieved is extremely volatile. We substitute our own Profit for an age-old image, and repay our creditors by allowing them to share in the wealth of that Profit.

If an early adopter finds value in our achievement, fundamentalists may chastise and impune them for breaking with traditions. And others may extort, blackmail or even violate them, though the belief system we've created points to enviable potential. The only refuge to this dichotomy is to doubt our cultures traditional faith entirely, which completely separates us from the believers.

What we've achieved here is a model with the power to govern - reliant upon transitional states that fail flaws by allowing free will to live unobstructed long enough to prove to the unconscious mind that it does. Our consciousness is raised by the effort, not confounded, obstructed or disrupted.

Allowing an individual to perceive the folly of their own willfulness prevents consciousness from hurting itself, and allows the unconscious to wake, but it does not prevent the malicious, or willfully harmful from falling to the wrath the structure is capable of supporting as a means of correction for cruel and inhuman behavior we cannot tolerate.
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Beware the vengeance of a patient man: http://imid.us.com/medical-model.html

Anonymous Fellowships and the like, are where those of us who blame professionally end up! The last stop on life's journey. Patsies, Finks, Cops, Criminals, Federales, Bounty Hunters, Advocates and Collectors all without ID. Addiction is the only way we are able to cope with the pain of our anger, and, it's what happens when you've worked all your life to help others understand what's wrong. They get really good at blaming you for your guidance and direction. All the bad decisions you saved them from, and all the harm you've prevented results in a huge resentment.

Maybe it would have be better to focus on our own decisions, and make our own mistakes, so we can learn our own lessons. At least we won't be resentful of them and dependent upon you at the end of the day. We'll be much better examples of how to live, and we won't need a drink to feel better. If your only options come in the form of toxic substances, where can we turn, what can we do?

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After moving to my new apartment, that had a porch where my bird and I could sit, a guy I worked with called from the University area, saying he was lost, and needed a ride. Because I had just moved, I was broke and didn't have food for my bird - the air in the apartment was laden with paint fumes, and I was reluctant to answer the call, but he needed to talk, so I went to pick him up.

When I got back, I went to check on Early Bird, and he was lying on the bottom of his cage. So I quickly reached in to try to revive him. He regained consciousness and I mixed some cinnamon and sugar water in an effort to get some quick calories in him, but to no avail. He stretched out his legs, and stiffened up in my hand and as if to fly like an arrow to heaven, and died.

I've only sobbed a couple of times, and that was one of them. I was so happy to have a place where we could sit outside at our leisure in privacy and enjoy the fresh air. He loved that so much, and in my old place it was a rare thing for me to be able to do so. It broke my heart.

Rest in peace Early!
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