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Nancy Larson
Worked at Retired
Attends University of Life
Lives in Manahawkin New Jersey, USA
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Nancy Larson

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Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, "Grandpa are you going to take that new Viagra?"

Grandpa looks at him and says "No Johnny, I will not." "But Grandpa, why?" asks little Johnny. Grandpa replies.

"Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you have no one worth writing to." 
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Nancy Larson

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Once there was an Antartian that was down on his luck. In order to get some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him "I've kidnapped you."

The Antartian wrote a note saying "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the city playground. Signed, An Antartian."

The Antartian then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the Antartian checked, and sure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath that pecan tree. The Antartian opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note. The note said, "How could one Antartian do this to another Antartian?!"

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I thought you may like this.....

How to Cut Tomatoes Like a Ninja - Cooking Hack
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A schoolteacher wanted to show her students how dangerous drinking alcohol could be. She brought a jar of alcohol and an earthworm to class one day to demonstrate its effects. She dropped the worm into the alcohol and it died instantly. She then asked her students what this proved.

One student raised his hand and said, "if you drink a lot of alcohol, you won't get worms.
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The lawyer was cross-examining a witness.

“Isn’t it true, “he bellowed, “that you were I given $500.00 to throw this case?”

The witness did not answer. Instead, he just stared out the window as though he hadn’t

heard the question. The attorney repeated himself, again getting the same reaction - no response.

Finally, the judge spoke to the witness, “Please answer the question.”

“Oh,” said the startled witness, “I thought he was talking to you.”
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A SHORT CURRENT EVENTS TEST..

This is a good test. And it shows results in a number of ways.
It surely indicates that the majority of Americans don't know what's going on.
No wonder our politicians take such advantage.
Interesting and simple test. It’s astonishing that so many people got less than half right.
These results say that 80% of the (voting) public doesn't have a clue – and that’s pretty scary.
There are no tricks here - just a simple test to see if you are current on your information.
Test your knowledge, then be ready to shudder when you see how others did
Click here: Test Your News IQ - Pew Research Center
http://www.pewresearch.org/quiz/the-news-iq-quiz/

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Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe?

Joe: I won it in a race.

Bill: How many people participated in it?

Joe: Three, a policeman, the owner of the watch, and me!!

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A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup.

She asked, "Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?"

Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.'" 
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People
Work
Occupation
Not a damn thing!
Employment
  • Retired
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Manahawkin New Jersey, USA
Previously
Kenilworth NJ - Roselle Park NJ - East Windsor NJ
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Retired and Loving It!!!
Bragging rights
Survived twin sons with one daughter 26 months older and an other daughter 4 years younger.
Education
  • University of Life
    present
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Gender
Female
Other names
Nancy Rein Larson
Nancy Larson's +1's are the things they like, agree with, or want to recommend.
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The species of Taraxacum are tap-rooted biennial or perennial herbaceous plants, native to temperate areas of the Old and New worlds. The le

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026 - Copy. A cone (in formal botanical usage: strobilus, plural strobili) is an organ on plants in the division Pinophyta (conifers) that c

Nance Larson Photography | seeing thru the eyes of a camera lens
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Conch (pron.: /ˈkɒŋk/ or /ˈkɒntʃ/)[1] is a common name that is applied to a number of different medium to large-sized sea snails or their sh

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