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Emily Painter

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Too beautiful for earth.
Last night I dreamed that I had an ultrasound, and I was
told miraculously that my baby was still inside me, that there was a heartbeat,
and I was 22 weeks along.  I was filled with an astonished kind of
hope and I went racing to find my husband to tell him...
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By the glow of the nightlight.
By the glow of the nightlight, I feel renewed.  As I rock my koala baby to sleep, her body entangled
around mine, I am calmed. The rabid gremlin she resembled just
moments ago, fades from my mind.  I look
at her angel face, and I am with her, in this moment...
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Grown-up status
it's official. I'm a grown-up.  I thought I was a grown-up when I could vote legally, then again when I
could drink legally. I was convinced I was a grown-up when I got a taste of independence in
college.  When I moved in with my boyfriend.          ...
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Will I Be Okay?
I had a moment of panic today.  As I, exhausted and recovering from a stomach
flu, chased little sister around the Parks and Rec Senior Center during big
sister’s ballet class, I was hit with one of those quick flash forward visions
into the future.  A futu...
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Mother's Day
Today is Mother’s Day, a day I very much look forward
to.  Not for presents or grand gestures,
but simply for the fact that I am able to celebrate it as a mother.  I get to spend time with my own mama and the
two girls who made me a mama.  I also
forgo diap...
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Is this real?
I get hit with a forceful feeling of wonder.  The *knock you off your
feet, sit down and gather yourself* kind of forceful. I look at them and I just
can't believe that they are mine.  That I made them.  That they call
me "Mommy." It
happens in th...
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Dear Kind Sir
I had the hellish bad luck privilege of being that mom in the grocery store tonight
with a child fitfully rolling about in the middle of the produce section.   Boneless and inconsolable she was. The reason
for her tantrum? It appeared that all the grocery c...
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"Don't be in a hurry."
"Mom, don't be in a hurry tonight... ok?" she said to me as we snuggled into her bed to read books. I was speechless, my guilty heart broke. I guess I am in a hurry by the end of the
night. I'm in a hurry to sink into the couch by myself and have a moment o...
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Perspective. Part I
is a funny thing.  We are often blinded by our own opinions and we forget to take into consideration that we may
not, in fact, know everything.  Perspective
becomes painfully clear when we find ourselves on the other side however … the side we
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The moment, and I mean the very instant, I became a mom, I got it. I finally
understood– I understood my mom, my
parents; the all-encompassing love, the fear… I just finally got it.   This kind of love, it is impossible to explain, you just have to feel it ...
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