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Jonathan D. Gordon
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NJ Family Law Attorney: Appearing Statewide.
NJ Family Law Attorney: Appearing Statewide.

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#Divorce and #HighConflict   #ChildCustody , #DomesticViolence , #ChildProtectionServices , ParentalAlienation, #Grandparent'sRights, and  #(DYFS/DCCP), #FamilyCourt #Lawyers appearing in #NJ Statewide. Offices at 310 Cedar Ln, Teaneck, NJ. Call #201-801-0455 for more information or go to #www .jdgordonlaw.com.
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ALIENATION
OR JUST BAD BEHAVIOR?   © Jonathan D. Gordon, Esq. 2015 Jonathan D. Gordon, Ph.D., J.D. I frequently come across
parents in Family Court who allege Parental
Alienation Syndrome (PAS) .  This, for
some, may become a mantra in cases when there is r...

15 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT FAMILY COURT LITIGATION:

1. THE SYSTEM DOES NOT ALWAYS WORK FAIRLY. IT IS VERY IMPERFECT AND SLOW. IT WILL GO MORE SLOWLY THAN YOU WOULD LIKE.

2. THE JUDGE WILL NOT NECESSARILY BE ON YOUR SIDE OR FAVOR YOU EVEN IF YOU ARE THE “GOOD GUY” IN YOUR OWN EYES AND IN OURS.

3. THE JUDGE WILL NOT BELIEVE ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS (EVEN YOU) WITHOUT PROOF.

4. THE COURT DOES NOT CARE HOW MUCH YOU SUFFERED, AND YOU WILL USUALLY NOT GET MORE MONEY OR A BETTER OUTCOME BECAUSE OF IT.  IT IS UNFAIR, BUT IT IS REALITY. IF YOU ARE CURRENTLY SUFFERING, THE COURT WILL WANT TO KNOW WHY AND MAY ORDER SOME RELIEF FOR YOUR BENEFIT.

5. THE COURT DOES NOT CARE HOW MANY PEOPLE YOUR SPOUSE SLEPT WITH.

6. THE COURT DOES NOT CARE IF YOUR SPOUSE IS BISEXUAL OR GAY.

7. THE COURT IS NOT INTERESTED IN PUNISHING YOUR SPOUSE/EX, ETC. REGARDLESS OF HOW UPSET YOU ARE UNLESS THEY BROKE A COURT ORDER OR COMMITTED A CRIME OR SOME OTHER OFFENSIVE ACTION.

8. YOUR LEGAL BILLS WILL BE HIGHER THAN YOU EXPECTED.  MUCH OF THIS WILL BE DRIVEN BY YOUR ADVERSARY/SPOUSE, ETC., AS WELL AS YOUR OWN INSISTENCE ON LITIGATION, AND THE AMOUNT OF TIME YOU SPEND ON THE PHONE WITH YOUR ATTORNEY.  WE CANNOT ALWAYS PREDICT WHAT THE OTHER SIDE WILL DO, BUT WE USUALLY HAVE TO RESPOND TO IT AND THAT COSTS YOU MORE MONEY. YOUR ATTORNEY HAS TO BE PAID FOR TIME SPENT WORKING ON YOUR CASE, EVEN IF YOUR SPOUSE/EX CAUSED THE PROBLEM.  SOMETIMES THE COURT WILL ORDER REIMBURSEMENT OF ATTORNEYS' FEES, BUT NOT ALWAYS. YES, WE ALWAYS ASK THE COURT TO GET YOUR FEES BACK, BUT IT IS NOT FREQUENTLY AWARDED. THERE ARE NO QUICK SOLUTIONS.

9. YOU WILL GET LESS MONEY (OR PAY MORE) AT SETTLEMENT THAN YOU WANTED OR IMAGINED.

10. YOU WILL PAY MORE (RECEIVE LESS) ALIMONY OR CHILD SUPPORT THAN YOU WANTED TO.  YOU WILL PERCEIVE YOUR SPOUSE/EX TO BE HAPPIER THAN THEY TRULY ARE.  THEY WILL TRY TO PLAY “HEAD GAMES” WITH YOU. 

11. YOUR EXPECTATIONS WILL ALWAYS BE HIGHER THAN THE (UNFAIR) REALITY THAT YOU WILL EXPERIENCE. A GOOD ATTORNEY SHOULD COUNSEL THE CLIENT ABOUT REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS, COSTS, RISKS AND POTENTIAL OUTCOMES.

12. COURTS USUALLY TRY TO GIVE EACH PARTY SOMETHING THEY WANT, AND THEY TRY TO BE OBJECTIVE AND FAIR.  BUT DON’T EXPECT PERFECT FAIRNESS OR HOME RUNS.  YOU MAY BELIEVE THAT THE JUDGE DOESN’T “GET IT".

13. THE COURT DOES NOT--AND WILL NOT--SHARE YOUR OUTRAGE AT YOUR SPOUSE, EXCEPT IN RARE OCCASIONS.  YOUR CASE PROBABLY IS NOT RARE.  “IF ONLY THE JUDGE COULD HEAR ME OUT” DOESN’T USUALLY HELP YOU AT ALL.

14. YOUR LAWYER DOES NOT HAVE MAGICAL POWERS AND MUST FOLLOW THE COURT RULES, THE LAW, AND THE COURT’S DIRECTIVES EVEN IF WE ALL DON’T LIKE IT OR IF YOU BELIEVE THE JUDGE IS WRONG.  IF THE COURT MAKES A MISTAKE, IT CAN BE APPEALED BUT THIS WILL BE ANOTHER EXPENSE FOR YOU. THE APPELLATE DIVISION USUALLY DOES NOT REVERSE A FAMILY COURT JUDGE, EXCEPT WHEN A SERIOUS ERROR WAS MADE.  FRIENDS WILL TELL YOU WHAT YOUR LAWYER SHOULD BE DOING (OR SHOULD HAVE DONE) BUT THEY DON’T REALLY KNOW YOUR CASE, NOR DO THEY KNOW THE LAW OR ALL THE FACTS SURROUNDING THE ISSUES.  DON’T LET WELL-INTENTIONED SUPPORTERS/FAMILY GET YOU UNECESSARILY UPSET.   ASK US.

15. YOUR LAWYER WILL INTERACT WITH THE ADVERSARY LAWYER CONGENIALLY AND IN A COLLEAGIAL MANNER .  IT’S NOT PERSONAL AGAINST THE OTHER ATTORNEY WHO YOU MIGHT HATE.  THAT ATTORNEY IS JUST DOING THEIR JOB LIKE WE ARE.  WE WILL DO WHAT WE NEED TO DO ON YOUR BEHALF, REGARDLESS.  WE ALWAYS WORK HARD TO PROTECT YOUR INTERESTS AND TO GET YOU THE BEST OUTCOME UNDER ALL OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES. 

© Jonathan D. Gordon, Esq., 2015
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