Joe Palooka: The God-Awful Reboot
If you've never heard o' Joe Palooka, he was a character in a classic American comic strip ( The series, Joe Palooka, debuted in 1930 an' ran 'til 1984. It spawned comic books, radio an' TV series, and even a bunch o' films an' shorts. The character was a boxer who stood for the ideal sports hero with real moral character. He was a stand-up guy an' even punched out Nazis in at least one comic book durin' the War. He was so culturally relevant that there is a mountain in Wilkes-Barre, PA, the home town of Palooka's creator Ham Fisher, named for the character. Joe Palooka Mountain is only a little thing but there is a impressive monument to the character, showin' a clean-cut American icon. He was so popular an' important that when he got married in the comic, they sent out engraved invitations to a bunch o' celebrities ta read the paper on the day o' the marriage an' received formal acceptances from the Chief Justice o' the Supreme Court, the Attorney General, and General Omar Bradley.

So, does someone wanna explain ta me how the character got resurrected inta a spiky haired MMA fighter who looks like he's got all the moral fiber an' character of a dad-blamed rabid animal? There's even a interview with the character ( where he claims to have participated in cock fights, gamblin', drinkin' ta excess, and was accused of bank robbery an' murder that he claims he didn't commit but who knows? When asked who he'd want ta invite to a dinner party, he makes this kinda lame answer:

Wow. Jesus, for sure. Growing up in migrant camps working farms all over Southern California you learn to have faith, and pray for each other.

Not sayin' that havin' dinner with Jesus wouldn't lead ta some great conversation but that's a Ricky Bobby-level answer an' the rest o' his response don't get no better. Also, the character's origins were originally Pennsylvania as far as I know. So how does that translate ta migrant laborer in California? This just seems moronic.

I know my anger might be kinda premature since this ain't come out yet but I ain't gettin' a good feelin' from what I see. If I can find a copy o' this when it launches in early 2012, I will an' will let ya know just how bad this is. Right now, I feel like mixin' a few martial arts on whoever thought o' this thing.
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