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Helga
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Unorthodox
Unorthodox

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"When I was a freshman, my sister was in eighth grade. There was a boy in two of her periods who would ask her out every single day. (Third and seventh period, if I remember correctly.) All day during third and seventh she would repeatedly tell him no. She didn’t beat around the bush, she didn’t lie and say she was taken–she just said no.
One day, in third period, after being rejected several times, he said; “I have a gun in my locker. If you don’t say yes, I am going to shoot you in seventh.”
She refused again, but right after class she went to the principal’s office and told them what happened. They searched his locker and there was a gun in his backpack.
When he was arrested, some of my sister’s friends (some female, even) told her that she was selfish for saying no so many times. That because of her, the entire school was in jeopardy. That it wouldn’t have killed her to say yes and give it a try, but because she was so mean to him, he lost his temper. Many of her male friends said it was 'girls like her' that made all women seem like cock-teases.
Wouldn’t have killed her to say yes? If a man is willing to shoot someone for saying no, what happens to the poor soul who says yes? What happens the first time they disagree? What happens the first time she says she doesn’t want to have sex? That she isn’t in the mood? When they break up?
Years later, when I was a senior, I was the only girl in my Criminal Justice class. The teacher, who used to be a sergeant in the police force, told us a story of something that had happened to a girl he knew when she was in high school. There was a guy who obviously had a crush on her and he made her uncomfortable. One day he finally gathered up the courage to ask her out, and she said no.
The next day, during an assembly, he pulled a gun on her in front of everyone and threatened to kill her if she didn’t date him.
He was tackled to the ground and the gun was taken from him.
When my teacher asked the class who was at fault for the crime, I was the only person who said the boy was. All the other kids in the class (who were all boys) said that the girl was, that if she had said yes he would’ve never lost it and brought a gun and tried to kill her. When my teacher said that they were wrong and that this is what is wrong with society, that whenever a white boy commits a crime it’s someone else’s fault (music, television, video games, the victim) one boy raised his hand and literally said; 'But if someone were to punch me and I punched him back, who is at fault for the fight? He is, not me. It’s self-defence. She started it, so anything that happens to her is in reaction to her actions .It’s simple cause and effect.'
Even though he spent the rest of the class period ripping into the boys and saying that you are always responsible for your own actions, and that women are allowed to say no and do not have to date them, they left class laughing about how idiotic he was and that he clearly had no idea how much it hurt to be rejected.
This isn’t something that’s rare. This isn’t something that never happens, or that a select group of men feel as if they are so entitled to women that saying no is not only the worst possible thing a woman can do, but is considered a form of “defence” when they commit a crime upon them (whether it be rape or murder-as-a-reaction-towards-rejection).
Girls are being killed for saying no to prom invites. Girls are being killed for saying no to men. They are creating an atmosphere where women are too scared to say no, and the worst part is? They are doing it intentionally. They want society to be that way, they want women to say yes entirely out of fear. Even the boys and men who aren’t showing up to schools with guns are saying; 'Well, you know, I wouldn’t do that, but you have to admit that if she had just said yes…'
If you are a man and you defend this guys’ actions or try to find an excuse for it, or you denounce what really happened, or in any way lay blame on women, every girl you know, every woman you love, has just now thought to themselves that you might lose your shit and kill them someday for saying no. You have just lost their trust. And you know what? You deserve to lose it." —vampmissedith

This happens daily, and on many levels. While all races do it to some point, white men haven't been held accountable in so long, they cannot stand to be told no and it is in all levels from jobs, politics, religion, etc. And yes, I've had to deal with it as well. It sucks.

watercolor by Marcos Beccari
from an original photograph by Jefferson Ramos [ jeh182 ] (model: Luisa Fontan)
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If this new version passes, I know three friends, hard workers and clean living all their lives, who will die. Two with cancer, 1 with a kidney transplant. And then we have this. The number of people who will die, and not be covered or have any way to get care, is staggering. It's a death warrant. I know many nay say there is also a war on women, but this sorta shoots that down. Because the majority of domestic violence victims are women. And of course, all congressman have great health coverage, unlike the rest of us. They should have the same as the rest of us, and I bet the face of healthcare would change a lot. Care in America is great if you're rich. If you're poor, and have a pre-existing condition, you won't even be able to walk in a hospital. Just hurry up and die.

https://www.bustle.com/p/sexual-assault-domestic-violence-are-pre-existing-conditions-the-gop-health-care-bill-wouldnt-cover-55623?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=owned&utm_campaign=bustle

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This is who I'll be rooting for! They deserve it just on shear determination!

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Good article. I think we all know a few like this. Women get subjected to this more than men, but it happens in all ways to all folks at some point. Look at how many in politics and high level jobs fit this bill. 

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I have now seen everything. hey, come do actual work with me and get muddy and I'll give you jeans for free. 

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