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Door Opener
64 followers -
I'm just here to open the doors, especially the fridge.
I'm just here to open the doors, especially the fridge.

64 followers
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Door Opener's posts

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know your less-than-lethal weaponry, specifically picked out for use against the Occupy Movement! 

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Saturate the airwaves with this the week before the election. 
Who would benefit most?

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A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

A black man's response to Romney: (author unknown) 
'Fuck you. Black people don't want free shit, you out of touch Dr. Reed Richards hair having motherfucker.

We want the same shit that your white constituency wants: Opportunity, good schools, safe streets, JOBS, a house that doesn't fucking double and triple in interest rate while the value plummets, a place to shit with a door on it and the ability to not be denied coverage when we have a medical problem. We're no different than anybody else but you wouldn't know that because the only black person you probably know personally you just happen to be running against him for president.

I'm tired of these piece of shit Republicans talking DOWN and whitesplaining to people of color AS IF they had it hard all their lives. NO Mitt Romney, you never had to worry about the price of milk ever in your fucking life. You were raised with a silver spoon in your mouth and your father probably owned a silver spoon factory.

If you were really in touch, you'd talk about JOBS because we have a 14% unemployment rate in the black community but your party couldn't pass a fart through cotton much less a fucking jobs bill. You'd talk about the safety net but we all know that you and Rand Paul are looking to take a pair of comically large shears to that motherfucker.

Instead you walk in front of the NAACP and talk PAST them and your message hits your goddamn racist, sexist, homophobic, bible thumping, hate ridden, against their own interest base that ignores when we spend half a million on cruise missiles but complain when they see somebody cashing an unemployment check that happens to own an iPhone. FUCK YOU.

I have a goddamn question for you, Willard:

What about your perpetually poor white voters in states like West Virginia, Mississippi, Missouri and Louisiana that vote for you even though you give no fucking care about them. As long as you hammer on how black Obama is, how the liberals want to shoot their white women with abortion guns and the fact that gays want to marry your children they'll continue voting for you. They staff your fucked up infantry and you've spent the past 60 years brainwashing them into thinking they deserve to get welfare checks but the second black people get them, it's a problem.

Fuck you and your face. Fuck your hair. Fuck your party. Fuck Newt Gingrich and fuck the whole conservative movement that has allowed their side to turn into this giant self-eating mutated blob.

Partake in the finest selection of horse penises.'"

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Who's with me?

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Kinda looking forward to wednesday...

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and now, in a completely different venn...
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