1. Totally agree with your counselor about the sexuality spectrum. Kinda like a bell curve, but with emotions, attractions etc. "Zero" being absolutely asexual (non sexual) and then as the pendulum swings one way or another you are either more male bisexual, or female bisexual with the distal ends of the spectrum being entirely attracted to either male or female only. I think I am about a 3 to left swinging towards gay, but who knows..I don't rule anything out. I think for some people, the pendulum swings, and is not static. Everyone is different, and to make it more confusing because it is not static, you might find yourself either more gay, bisexual, or straight depending upon your age, conditions, needs, and of course environment.
2. For everyone it's different and you need to identify for yourself does that mean you can be in multiple relationships (gender-wise etc - perhaps not gay, lesbian, bisexual, or Polyamourous.) Is it even important to you to label, categorize, or file yourself as one way or another? Or do you just choose one person, and whomever that gender is, you stick with a relationship with one person. Monogamy. Or everyone understands they need to share etc. Being up front and honest, so that people can decide for themselves what they are getting into is only fair, and is very important.
Kudos for being so open and honest. Perhaps there is no definition of your sexuality, or maybe you are Polyamourous. I think maybe Jesus might have just been Polyamourous. The Bible defines love as Phileo (Ethos), Eros, Storge and Agape. So there you have it. The Bible recognizes there is a variety of love. It absolutely recognizes that not all love involves physical, but that you can have parallel love, and experience different kinds of love simultaneously. Not all love is actually physical, and defining it that way is a mistake.
Speaking of religion, faith and spirituality, I have a few words because most of us due to culture or backgrounds have to deal with this issue. Ironically the one thing that seems to forbid even a kiss is engulfed in sexuality, and I think that is because through out the ages this is the greatest human challenge. Some of us more than others. As you say wouldn't it be nice to just be gay or straight? I add to that wouldn't it be nice to like most people not have to think about it at all..You just are the way you are and happen to be part of the large mass of guppies that just is heterosexual.
3. Since like me, you probably come from, and struggle with your religious values, culture or what ever, you also need to come to terms with this, so you can balance your emotions. I'm Catholic, and need to realize that my religion is personal, and because I was raised this way it is also my culture. And I love that too. I guess I am a cafeteria Catholic (maybe that just means I think for myself). However it's not up for anyone to define my spirituality or religion. I own my personal relationship with my creator, and no one is going to come in the middle of that. i own and define my own spirtuality, and no priest, Bishop or other humam is going to get in the way of that. That will not deny me this, and they will not push me away from my spirituality or faith. It is my inalienable freedom of choice. I will be tolerant of them, therefore they should be tolerant of me. Isn't if funny, but their intolerance of one of God's children is probably way more offensive to God, then perhaps just being how God made you. Yup God made us how we are. It is not "who" we are singularly, but it is "how" we are. We are all so much more than where we insert our body parts etc.
By the way all of the evangelical Christians who are so hyper anti gay are either a) hypocritical, b) scared of their own sexual shadows c) ignorant. They choose and pick their little Bible verses and use it as a manual, but totally misinterpret its terms, screens, values and definitions. So here's a couple of things to throw at them...a) We are commanded to love our fellow man (humans). Not a request, a command. So if you are going to interpret is staunchly and to the letter one way, you have to interpret that way on all ends. There are more Bible verses etc that point out loving people regardless of gender than not. (and even those have to be considered in context. Jonathan and David
“When David had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was bound to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that he was wearing, and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt.” (1 Samuel 18:1-4)
And then there is the relationship of Ruth and Naomi. Everywhere in the bible it talks of Jesus' love of people, and he had deep emotional bonds with people regardless of gender. However he was never married, and the marriage ceremony is nowhere to be found in the bible. Marriage is actually an old term that means "merger," and weddings were often celebrations of mergers of wealthy families. The wedding at Cana can be interpreted not about vows between a man and a woman, but actual hospitality. The miracle was about feeding the hungry even if you are poor, and the load is heavy, and having faith that God will provide, not about two people in a mixed gender ceremony.
Lastly if homosexuality or whatever was such a grevious sin, then it would have been clearly defined. Heinous sin in God's eyes is clearly, and explicitly defined. There would have been an 11th commandment saying no no no..but there is not. Unless somebody inserted it recently homosexual or gay, or bisexual has never been in the Bible. Remember in the male dominant world of Biblical times woman were considered lessor people, and wives considered property more than anything. To make a man into a woman by laying (screwing them in a male violent way) was the ultimate disrespect, and this violence, not the love of two people is what is referred to in the Jewish cleansing laws. The same laws that tell you how to abort a baby, and poison your wife if you think she has not been faithful to you.
Let's face it. The Bible was the Readers Digest, or a Blog (mans understanding) of that age. It's not a users manual, or a EULA. There were no printing presses, no on line chats, or YouTube. Only rich or privileged people knew how to write, or had the means to write on paper. Just like some gay news rags, it contained stories, accounts, recipes, entertainment, and yes even sexuality. It was not compiled until about 300 years after Christ's death. There were no TV re-runs etc, so it was kept alive around campfires. It's meaning changed with the wind, and who was telling it.
4.) So Live, and Love the best you can. God is not going to send you to hell for loving the wrong person. Do no harm, treat everyone with respect and most importantly...Love everyone. We are all God's children. Hatred is evil and against God.
You probably know all of this, you seem very well educated. It's funny but people who are sexually challenged, and called upon to take guiding roles in the world or sexuality have to think and ponder, reflect, and pray if you will more than the rest, but none the less I think it is a calling, a role placed upon your shoulders to help your fellow humans - you are doing an excellent job by just being you.
5.) My apologies for the blog, but I just don't know how to say this in fewer words. I am not trying to shove my beliefs down anyone's throat, just discussing my feelings here. I don't know if they are absolutely correct, and I don't know if they are even close to correct, but I do know they are my feelings and thoughts. Thank you for letting me share them with you. As crazy as they may be. I hope you don't mind, and you are welcome to just delete this if you think it is crazy or just too much. Most people won't read this anyway, save for the people who will probably ridicule me for it. (Like my conservative Catholic family members who constantly ridicule me. Love them all, I forgive them, but they can't live my life for me.) We come in this world alone, get left behind as a lot of people we love leave first, or will leave before us; and we go out of this world alone, and most the people we come in this world with are not around when we leave. So live your life for yourself. I will be respectful, but not compliant to one person. I love, respect and I am grateful to God, my creator for the blessings and the gifts I have. I recognize that I am blessed in many ways. Look toward the positive light, smell the roses, and that will be your eternity. Create your own reality. If you live your life in negativity or darkness, that will be your own eternal inferno. With your last breath and thought, smile and say Thanks, hug and kiss someone as your last act, and you will have eternal happiness.