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Maya Pillay
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More than...
I am sat opposite a woman on the tube. She is asleep, wearing a huge coat on this sunny day, legs with nobbled knees and hands with bones of a tiny bird. Her face is defined, but not like that of the models I work with, it is drawn, skin stretched across he...

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20 things I gained
When I was
first told how much I’d need to gain to be deemed ‘healthy’, I remember
thinking that they were the insane ones. Today, I sit, over 20 kilos heavier
than the waif that sat crying over every morsel of food, whose heart beat
dangerously slow, who w...

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Early Intervention
“How many
evenings did I stand in the middle of grocery store aisle, paralyzed with fear
and indecision? It's not just the time I regret; it's the loss of who I might
have been if I wasn't so consumed. It's who I might have loved, how I might
have lived, wh...

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New year, new me? Bollocks to that!
New Year Resolutions "New year, new me". Bollocks to that! I've never quite understood why the dawn of a new year should make so many of us sit back and think "I am not good enough, time to totally change". It's the point at which we all start resolving to ...

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Set her alight.
You should know that we are not cold, winter girls are the ones who know how fiercely our love will burn and are therefore afraid of extinction. We know the devastation the flames can bring, roaring through the world, painting a trail of destruction. We kno...

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Surviving the Festive Season!
Food and
family and festivities, oh my! Christmas, a time of excess, catching up with
friends, festive frolicking and for some, a hell of a lot of stress. For me,
Christmas brings mixed emotions. On one hand, it’s one of my favourite times of
the year, I lo...

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Life doesn't mean life
What exactly happens when life doesn't go to plan? Does it all happen again? Like a tidal wave, ready to put your life on pause again until you are ready to press play...I sort of worried that would always be the case. That my life 'post anorexia' (I place ...

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Thawing
I think I am...okay now. Right? Sort of. I still cry. Quite a bit really. I will look in the mirror and then turn back 2 minutes later and see something totally different. Weird. But...okay. Some moments I am so scared that I feel I am shattered. I want to ...

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An open letter to my body in light of anorexia 

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Dear Body.
After what has felt like a tough couple of weeks, with body hatred setting in, some pretty rubbish blood test results and the challenge of adding quite a lot more into my restrictive diet in order to get back on track and get my metabolism up and running I ...
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