Profile cover photo
Profile photo
Chemory Gunko
43 followers -
Life Coach, Sex Coach, NLP Practitioner specializing in twin flames, lightworkers and light warriors
Life Coach, Sex Coach, NLP Practitioner specializing in twin flames, lightworkers and light warriors

43 followers
About
Posts

Post has attachment

5 ways the global energy is impacting you right now

Global Energy Check In - 26 June 2018 - covering global energies that are impacting most people

The global check in covers the common shifting patterns and themes that basically everyone is experiencing.
1. Feelings of inadequacy, lack of self worth - external validation

Lots and lots of doubt going around… what value do I add? Why isn’t anything moving for me? What am I doing wrong? Thoughts around I am not good enough and will never get there - I’ll never be good enough.

This is a common ego trap of external validation and it will rear its head repeatedly on your journey, commonly around the theme of “how can I be of value if people don’t like me and don’t approve of me?”

An easy fix for this is to go watch a reality show and remember who these people are out there that don’t approve of you - how they think, what their lives are, how shallow they are.

We all get lonely and isolated and want to reach out, so we assume we must be the problem, and then get disappointed when we get out there and find that there’s no one we can, or want to, connect with.

You can go fast or you can go with people - if you go with people you will always go at the same pace as the slowest person.

Every time you grow you move faster and further forward - making the chasm much greater between you and them. They feel inferior around you and stupid because you open your mouth and say something smart and it forces them to learn and change.

Most of us have the complaint that we can never say what we want because people get caught up on background facts, but to them, the old news is brand new information. From the first piece of background we give, we are forcing them to learn and change. People hate those two things.

People want to feel smart and we have a tendency to make them feel stupid - that’s why they mostly don’t like us.

It’s never going to change, and the better you get at handling it, the bigger the load you’ll get to handle.

Watch a reality show. Remember who you’re dealing with.
2. Wanting to leave or not to be here

You’re moving closer to God, even if God is still a swearword on your journey. And even though it doesn’t feel like it, your ego death is moving you closer to that goal.

When you get closer to the thing you really want, have you noticed how your hunger increases? Like when you’re bursting to go to the loo and you’re fumbling the keys in the lock because you’re so close to the toilet now?

That’s exactly why these growth periods can trigger suicidal thoughts, or thoughts of wanting to leave, not be here, be done, and go - you’re so close to God that you just want to cross the finish line now.

It will pass - every energy has always passed. Nothing lasts forever, and this won’t either.

Read more on this at http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/why-are-spiritual-people-often-depressed-and-suicidal-the-link-between-your-spiritual-journey-and-mental-illness
3. Money worries and anxiety

I’d love to assume that I can just leave this one as standard and not have to type it out each time, but well, we need reminders.

Everyone is going through money shit, even if they aren’t owning it. They won’t - it’s the shame that makes money issues a thing in the first place.

They money thing is one of the fastest ways to create the global change we are after - but that means that basically everyone on earth has to be in the issue before we all start acting on it. That includes you and me.

The balance of figuring out how to survive in a world where money is survival, while building a money free world, is extreme. It’s unbelievably hard. But that’s the job.

We love to talk about the lightworker mission - this is a big part of it. Figuring out a way to do the stuff that seems impossible to achieve.

It is entirely natural for us spiritual types to have an inherent conflict with money - here’s more on the topic: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/why-spiritual-people-battle-with-money

Here’s a four part article and video series on the money issue, speaking about practical ways to deal, steps you can take, ways to simplify and dealing with your ego and emotional responses: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/the-money-problem-part-1-your-money-mindset
4. Exhaustion and fatigue

Was giggling as I spoke about this to a client this morning… remember a few weeks back when we were all moaning that we were getting no sleep? Well now we’re getting all of it lol ;)

Partly this has been a rest period cos we’re just into the main shifting period of the year - from now until end September.

So for the next few months we’ll be complaining that it’s too much - and then October we’ll be saying we’re bored :)

The periods always end - nothing goes on forever. Be grateful that at least you have some idea what is going on.

Here are daily maintenance resources that will help alleviate some of the physical symptoms you’re feeling: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/daily-energy-healing-basics

A few daily basics can go a long way towards helping your entire system cope. Butterfly Release is a must have!

If you need distance energy healing or clearing work done, shout. We have healers that can help you at distance.
5. Focus, clarity and practical functionality

Productivity and getting stuff done… wow we’ve all been badly procrastinating the past while.

I had this thought one day, how cool would a world be where we can say “bugger it - the global energy is too bad, we’re declaring a worldwide rest period!” #goals

This is one of the places where we really see the failure of the money as survival system - the money pressure doesn’t allow for any other aspects of life.

This isn’t just happening to us though - this is a global lesson playing out in our personal lives - it shows us what so many other people are experiencing. That’s what we’re here to fix - what everyone has to live in.

The only way that it becomes relevant to you is if you are living through it, so it gets drawn to us to make it an issue we’ll look at and spend time thinking about. We’re meant to NOT personalize it, and to recall that this is global and we’re here to fix the global problems (lightworker mission is a job in other words - a frigging hard job lol!).

At the same time you are less and less “human” - so these periods where you experience overwhelming human experiences in your body actually seem harder for you than what you’re used to. It’s the contrast of the two experiences that makes it so rough.

One thing that helps me enormously in these periods is if I keep planning and working, without jumping into projects.

Previously, I would allow the restless days to spur me into immediate action and then I’d land up with half finished projects. Now I step back and plan - play it out in my head, do too much research. The results are really great though and the practice helps to build patience enormously.

Find other ways to approach your work, schedule meetings, brainstorm, do the social connections stuff - that seems to be easier at the moment.

Here are a list of resources to help you find practical functionality for the days you HAVE TO focus and get stuff done: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/productivity-getting-stuff-done-practical-functionality
Add a comment...

Post has attachment

What are MIRRORS in healing and personal development work? Understanding DUALITIES

http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/what-are-mirrors-in-healing-and-personal-development-work-understanding-dualities

You know that feeling when you “can’t let go” of something or someone? When you “don’t know what keeps pulling you back” to them? That pull you feel when you “fall in love” or “experience chemistry”?

When your mind and inner voice are racing at a mile a minute, looking for the thought that will help you reach internal peace and alignment? The thought of realization that will help you make sense of it all?

That “thing” or thought you’re looking for is the knowledge or lesson - the mirror energy you identify with. The moment you identify that mirror energy, or bring it to your conscious awareness, the attraction you feel to the person or situation entirely falls away.

If you’ve ever had a thought and then completely changed your behavior accordingly, then you’ve understood this for yourself in a different way.

This is how mirrors work…. we can “see” something is there and we can “see” that it has bearing on the situation, but until it’s fully revealed, we simply “feel” a longing and attraction to “be” in that situation, and so we keep creating it.

We do this by engaging with people who carry those energies, which we recognize on the subconscious level. Also we’re only likely to respond to those triggers, so we tend to focus in on the people around us who are like that, to the exclusion of others.

The concept of Mirrors in development is not new - but it’s not something you hear about often in the mainstream. Even in mainstream spiritual circles.

Mirrors themselves are the Essene Mirrors of Relationship - a series of seven areas to look at when you are working on your stuff. Each of these gives you insight into what is going with you, helping to raise that knowledge to consciousness awareness.

To understand why they’re called mirrors, think of what a mirror does - it shows you what you look like in that moment. The Mirrors of Relationship simply performs that task on the energetic level.

When you drop that energy (mirror), it smashes - hence smashing mirrors. You can’t see yourself in a smashed mirror anymore.

The common mistake people make when working with mirrors, is to assume that what they see in front of them is exactly what is reflected within them.

But in truth, a mirror actually provides a reversed image and view. Energetic mirrors are no different.

In the case of energetic mirrors, which can be referred to as dualities, there are five kinds of mirror that appear.

All of the mirror energies share this in common though: they are energies that show me who I am (a piece or aspect of myself), and what I share in common with others by dint of who I attract.

1. Alignment

Alignments are mirror energies that are a direct reflection of what I show (express); a carbon copy if you will.

This is what we were just discussing - energies where you see exactly what you are in the other person or situation.

You see yourself when you look at their behavior and presence, and are able to relate to it completely - perhaps even understanding their motivation.

An example of alignment is a shared interest or hobby, being in love at the same time, or both identifying as a certain culture.

Another real life example of this could be a hypocrite - someone who does exactly what they judge another for doing.

This is almost entirely what people think of when they first encounter mirrors, or only have a small understanding of the process.

And you have encountered it… think “guilty conscience” or “it takes one to know one” or “he who smelt it, dealt it."

In this case, the idea of “a loving person lives in a loving world, and a hostile person lives in a hostile world - people are always your mirror” applies.

But this is not always how mirrors reflect in the real world.

Here are four other ways mirrors show themselves:

2. Polarity

Polarities are mirror energies that ARE THE OPPOSITE of an energy you contain.

So in our “loving person, loving world" example above, you seeing hostility in others can be triggered because you are so loving in comparison to them.

In this case, the lesson is here to show you yourself in contrast, because there may not be energies aligned to yours around you that can be used for that purpose.

So this is our first understanding of the real-life mirror - most of the pictures we see are reversed, especially after about 600 on the Human Consciousness Scale. Read more on the HCS at http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/how-to-use-the-human-consciousness-scale-mirrors

The reason for this swing is firstly Twin Flames, who operate in dualities.

This means that one Twin carries the bulk of an energy, while the other carries a duality energy - think of the yin-yang. Each side is mainly one color with only a touch of the duality color.

Imagine those colors as emotional scales, like faith and doubt: that’s what the spread of emotional balance looks like in a Twin Flame.

With the overflow of Twin Flames on the planet right now, we are really experiencing the very black and white nature of this dualistic plane.

The second reason is the lack of other souls to benchmark against.

Yes, Source will give you lessons, but it can only select those lessons from the people, objects and experiences that exist around you.

In order to ensure that advanced souls become advanced souls, there have to be ways to continue learning, even if there is nobody more advanced than you to learn from.

This is where “everyone and everything around you is your teacher” comes into action, and why we also need to learn by teaching.

3. Complement

Complements are mirror energies that SUIT another energy - they fit well together.

So if someone is loving, a warm hearted and gregarious nature would complement that. If someone is hostile, a cynical and judgmental nature would complement that - although it could also polarise, contrast and conflict it.

Complements in Twin Flames are fascinating… and sometimes you see awesome energies at play, like watching the primary breadwinner panic when money worry hits, while the stay-at-home partner takes the lead and sorts out the crisis.

Usually the breadwinner is "Minister of Finance," but in crisis, the "Minister of Home Affairs" jumps in and takes over the fiscal responsibility.

They seem to perfectly “complement” each other’s weaknesses and strengths in certain areas.

4. Conflict

Conflicts are energies that conflict another energy.

To start with a subtle example, let’s say someone is usually warm and welcoming, and one person in particular brings out their ugly side. The presence of this person creates internal conflict that triggers a behavioral response.

In the case of catfishing for example, the perceived alignment of “equal availability to pursue the relationship,” i.e. both of you being single, is often actually a conflict, because the guilty partner is usually married and not free to pursue the relationship.

If you’ve ever known somebody who dropped someone the moment they found out they were married to, or involved with, someone else, then you’ve seen the instant healing of the revelation of information (smashing a mirror) at play for yourself… the moment the information of the marriage, or lie, is revealed, the feeling towards the cheating party falls away.

The attraction and longing that was felt was actually the mirror energy, which was what was keeping the relationship intact.

Until the moment of revelation, there was a conflict between what was being said and what was being felt on the energetic level. So the self was torn in two - stay or go.

The moment the revealed truth aligned with the wronged party’s principles around the issue, there was no more dissonance around whether to stay or go. It was EASY to walk away, because there was internal alignment and peace.

The person just “suddenly" changed their mind and could walk away - even if they’d been vacillating for years.

If we go back to our loving person, loving world analogy… your loving nature could trigger an adverse reaction to someone who envies you, for example.

In a funny (sad and haha and weird) way, the loving relationship I experience with my daughter triggers a conflict reaction in people who have mother issues.

Because they perceive me as having the kind of relationship with my daughter that they wanted with their mothers, and feel cheated, my loving presence is something they aim to find fault with. Especially when I will not dedicate my focus to them, or do things the way they want me to.

In this case, my loving actions and nature when it comes to my kids trigger direct hostility. A loving person does not always see a loving world, in other words.

Another example of conflict that comes to mind is telling the truth to someone.

What you tell them could hurt them now, but will benefit them in the long run. However they may conflict your loving actions of caring for their long term well-being by turning on you and blaming you.

One man’s meat is another man’s poison. In this case, loving actions created animosity and anger; potentially long-term, if not forever.

5. Contrast

Pretend that you can’t read for a second. As you sit here, reading these words, try to imagine that you cannot read.

Pretty impossible hey?

But if I said to you, go read something written in Mandarin, or Greek, using their original alphabet forms, then it’s easy to pretend you can’t read now, isn’t it? Well, you don’t have to pretend, because you actually can’t read it in most cases.

However if I now said to you, pretend to read, you’d know what to do - even if you made up the words or meaning.

You understand the process of reading, and so you have internal reference points of knowledge to draw on, to able to ‘create’ the contrast of reading vs. not reading.

But in the moment where you thought about trying not to read, you were facing that theme in isolation, drawing only on your knowledge of ‘reading’ as your mind jumped to it - reading in this language, which for most of you, is a mother tongue.

You may think someone is stupid, or not eloquent, until you hear them speaking in their own language. You may think of yourself as unlikable, until you find a contrast experience of having someone like you, and then your opinion changes.

Contrast allows us to see things in a different light, and often to extrapolate knowledge to things that aren’t there for us to experience directly.

So you can have a very bad childhood that creates a contrast of being a very good parent… you may not have learned the behaviors of a good parent, but by not perpetuating what happened to you, you know what not to do.

So your parenting style is built in contrast to what you experienced directly.

In our “loving person, loving world” example, someone else’s loving nature could be paralleled against another’s, or your own.

Tough love could meet unconditional love, for example. The meeting of these two could also be a conflict because they would create conflict in their approaches.

So you could see a “loving person” and realize they are too loving and you need to be firmer with yourself and others if you really love them.

One of the best examples of contrast I’ve ever seen is a widely-used NLP metaphor and story, wherein a lady who has a beautifully decorated home, with white carpets, is struggling to make peace with the noisy, dirty, loud and boisterous nature of the men in her life - her husband and sons.

Of particular concern to her was the dirt that they regularly trod into her plush white carpeting.

So, the client was led into a guided meditation. In this experience, she was asked to imagine to imagine herself sitting quietly in her lounge, enjoying the spotlessly clean view - the joy of no marks on her carpeting.

As she was settling in and getting comfortable, and really beginning to enjoy the experience, the contrast bombshell was dropped: "Now, become aware that this silence and cleanliness means that you are alone in your house, no one is there to love you, keep you company, be there for you, support you."

Legend has it that the lady left the session a changed woman, and that floor dirt was never high on her agenda again.

A simple parallel contrast view gave her the direct knowledge she needed in order to completely reframe her entire mindset - in a single afternoon.

Practical Examples of Mirror Dualities in Action

Below are some practical examples of the kinds of lessons that you can draw from applying the principle of dualities.

I have given examples of characteristics you’ll notice in others, as this is what most will identify with. But I’ve also included life challenges and circumstances so that you can see those in action too.

Mirrors are also reflected in the way we act - our behaviors. Sometimes the realizations are about behaviors and habits and things that are programmed into us.

It’s also worth noting that lessons flip flop in duality layers…. when you reach the top, the only way to go is down.

So, for example, after a period or lesson of faith, you’d need a duality:
Alignment: Another period of faith (which you wouldn’t notice, it would just feel like an extension)
Polarity: A period of doubt and backsliding
Complement: Growing your trust in yourself
Conflict: Feeling cut off from God or blaming God
Contrast: Meeting someone of low faith or high faith in another belief system

Mirror: You meet someone you find arrogant
Alignment: You realize you are arrogant
Polarity: You realize that you are actually rather humble about your achievements
Complement: You understand you need to be a bit more self serving and self involved
Conflict: You identify where your, or another’s arrogant behavior is creating conflict, or the new perspective makes you unhappy with the status quo somewhere else in your life
Contrast: You see someone you previously labelled as arrogant in a new light

Mirror: You think or feel that people don’t like you
Alignment: You realize you don’t like these people and don’t want to be around them
Polarity: You become aware that you’re really likable and these people actually like you
Complement: You realize you’re right that people don’t like you, usually in a specific environment, or because of a specific incident or behavior
Conflict: You identify and change the behavior that causes the original conflict Contrast: You understand that this pattern of behavior continues across multiple areas of your life

Mirror: Someone calls you selfish
Alignment: You acknowledge that you can be selfish in certain areas
Polarity: You realize all the places where you are gregarious and generous
Complement: You understand how being selfish can actually serve you and be a healthy thing
Conflict: You become aware of people around you who are selfish
Contrast: You see how other’s selfishness lets you view yourself in a new light

Mirror: Your boss or parents criticize you
Alignment: You take their criticisms to heart literally, and start punishing yourself for perceived faults, or become reliant on their validation for decisions you make
Polarity: You become aware of their lacks and this alters the relationship with them
Complement: You take the advice on and use it to constructively benefit yourself
Conflict: You choose to return the criticism, creating internal or external conflict, depending on whether you return that criticism out loud or not
Contrast: You identify a pattern of inferiority to demanding perfectionists

Mirror: You are made redundant
Alignment: You align with being unemployed and being unwanted, rejected and a failure, and head into a depression
Polarity: You realize you are needed and go out and start your own (successful) business Complement: You align with feeling unwanted and pick fights with everyone around you - attack is the best form of defense
Conflict: You focus on the areas of your life where you are successful
Contrast: You go out of your way to make yourself valuable in your next job, and to highlight the areas where you are useful

Mirror: You get a piece of bad news about money
Alignment: You begin to worry and obsess about meeting your expenses
Polarity: You realize you’ve always made it through and decide not to stress about it Complement: You take risks over the next few days and lose even more money as the energy brings you down
Conflict: You allow your anxiety to permeate all of your life, creating conflict in other areas, or you decide to stay calm, knowing that this will blow over
Contrast: You stop and consider previous times you went through ups and downs and make peace that this will pass, or you do anything but act the way your parents did about money worries

View duality theme lists and read more about dualities at http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/defining-duality-statements

Read more on the Human Consciousness Scale and using Mirrors at http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/how-to-use-the-human-consciousness-scale-mirrors

Free online Mirrors tools - with thousands of coaching questions in interactive format - available at http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/newmirrors/

More free life coaching and healing tools to help you sort out your thoughts, figure out what’s bugging you, verbalize and align with energies and categorize and organize your thoughts and emotions at http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/free-diagnostics-tools

http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/what-are-mirrors-in-healing-and-personal-development-work-understanding-dualities
Add a comment...

Post has attachment
6 reasons why lightworkers, empaths, indigos, crystal children and other spiritual types don’t do well in the 3D or “real” world

http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/6-reasons-why-lightworkers-empaths-indigos-crystal-children-and-other-spiritual-types-don-t-do-well-in-the-3d-or-real-world

So I had a foray back into the “real world” with a project I did recently… and it was a stark reminder as to why I don’t participate in 3D anymore lol ;)

I say lol… but maybe that’s a nervous laugh. 3D ain’t fun…. and the people in it are weird.

I thought about that a lot with this project I was working on, and for a while I had been thinking about the differences between us spiritual types and the people out there. These are some of the most glaring differences I spotted.

1. We’re too ethical
2. We’re too honest
3. We look for compromise - they want superiority and control
4. We focus on our communication skills and language
5. We’re empaths
6. Money is not our God

1. We’re too ethical

The ethics and principles thing has many effects. First and foremost, we tend to do things properly - even if we’ve given a really good price.

In fact, for most of us, it grates to do something sub-par (by our VERY HIGH standards) - even if we knew that was likely from the beginning. For me personally, it meant never getting used to the certain level of “ugly” that marketing clients require.

We also don’t cut corners, or cheat, or break the rules about stuff that could be a problem. This often means we stonewall when it comes to crossing ethical boundaries.

People don’t like ethics, and the entitlement in the world means that people don’t see how ethics apply to them. This is especially true when it interferes in their "instant gratification" and "fear of missing out” issues.

People aren’t used to people who walk their talk when it comes to ethics and principles. But the higher you progress, the more important it will be for you to practice what you preach.

The cognitive dissonance we experience when not being aligned to our internal truth is way greater than what we experience when (once again) running into people’s dislike and disappointment. Luckily, by the time you get to this stage, you’ve usually had a hell of a lot of practice in flipping the establishment off.

2. We’re too honest

This also means that we have very low tolerance about how people speak to us and treat us - and we tend not to shut up about it.

It’s the funniest thing to watch in those of us driven by truth (when you’re not IN THE MOMENT that is lol). The truth builds up inside us like a pressure cooker, and we HAVE TO let it out and say something. Immediately.

This pattern is common among people in break ups: you know you need to break up, and you develop a sense of urgency to do it.

In us spiritual types, this honesty often expresses as a need to “tell people the truth” when we realize something (lol yes you can laugh at yourself - we all do this!).

3. We look for compromise - they want superiority and control

The conflict here arises in that we are learning unity and to overcome ego. The people we’re dealing with are navigating within the ego levels, and using the ego measures of happiness.

For us, happiness “happens” with a thought of relief - in other words we need to be in alignment with our “truth” internally, and have had found a way to balance that with the cognitive dissonance of the conflict in the morphic field.

What that means is that we carry one belief inside us (our truth), and there is another that exists in the morphic field (reality or society). There is energetic tension (cognitive dissonance) that takes place when these two conflicting energies meet. This is what triggers the discomfort and psychic pain and tension in us.

For people like us, we achieve peace when we’ve found a way to balance that energetic interplay.

For people not on a journey however, they live in the world of ego… and ego aims to establish hierarchy (superiority or inferiority), by means of control.

So we get into a power struggle, where people are trying to establish control over us, in order to establish themselves as superior, while we’re trying to establish equality.

We then do this ridiculous back and forwards dance where we spend time trying to meet their needs for a while, and then try to swing back to our own truth. Then we get depressed that it’s not working, or they aren’t changing, or they don’t compromise to meet us halfway.

It becomes this ridiculous push-and-pull tug-of-war because the two parties are playing in totally different arenas. What each wants automatically invalidates the existence of what the other one wants.

Read more on ego at http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/a-simple-analogy-to-understand-ego-with-7ps-of-ego-questions

4. We focus on our communication skills and language

Spiritual growth and journeys are all about language. We’re always trying to reach the right “thought” or “statement” - both of which take language to “express” in audio, thought, written, spoken, sung, verbal forms. These are just different frequencies of expressions of language.

We use healing “statements", have to have the “conversation" with someone - “say" something to them to settle stuff, or “hear" something from them.

This recurs in normal human life… all degrees are just an advanced vocabulary, jargon or language, specific to the field of study.

An engineer speaks of a “bridge” instead of a “pillared construction that allows people and goods to be transported over a body of water by foot or vehicle”. It is more efficient to say bridge - it streamlines the conversation.

Even in life, you’ve learned words and concepts like “house” instead of “a building where a family, friends, or housemates live together, conducting their personal lives, sleeping, eating and returning to after work each day.”

It’s way more efficient to have agreed-upon meanings for concepts because it makes communicating more efficient. Just like we enjoy talking to people like us, because they understand that we’re empaths, for example, and we don’t have to explain the concept. And then wait for them to process it and catch up to what they’ve just “learned”.

So, whether or not you realize it, all of life, and the journey you’re on, is about language.

You will focus more and more on language as you grow - purely by dint of the fact that you are always looking for the perfect “statement” to verbalize your latest shift, insight or aha moment of understanding.

LOL you can laugh at yourself now for how we struggle to “verbalize” our insights and aha moments to the people around us ;) Makes sense hey?

However, people don’t listen - especially if they’re not into “changing" or “growth", and want to be “consistent" and “themselves" and "the same”.

People don’t like change, they don’t believe that they can change. Often, the ongoing rapid, mental and emotional changes they see in us scare them, and makes them label us as insane.

So we take enormous pains to explain ourselves - and the people we’re speaking to hear nothing.

So we take even further pains to explain ourselves… which leads to labels like we “think too much” and “talk to much” and “nag” and “obsess”.

Truth is that we live in a field of energy, and us spiritual types can actually “feel” that as an extra sensory layer.

Until we are sure that there is agreement and alignment in the morphic field, we keep returning to a communication issue, because it’s like something chafing us until we get rid of it. LOL - see honesty above ;)

And we take pains to “explain” ourselves and our point of view, looking for energetic alignment in the field.. and the person who didn’t listen the first time is still not listening the tenth time.

They are however getting more and more and more irritated with us each and every time we try to sort this out.

We feel that energetic and emotional psychic tension growing in the field, which only spurs us onto greater urgency to “sort” the problem out - to “fix” it by creating energetic alignment.

5. We’re empaths

An empath is a scrubber or filter for the morphic field. The empaths are here to literally “suck” all the negative energy out of the morphic field, in order to clean it up. It’s a major part of the lightworker mission.

The thing about empaths is that we do not become ugly people when we absorb and process this energy - if this was left to the humans among us, we’d be drowning in serial killers.

So Source sent a whole bunch of us to Earth to absorb energies and shift them, so that we can clean up the morphic field and make it hospitable.

So we’re kind of geared to absorb the ugliest energies around us, aligned to those issues that we’ve shifted and are good at shifting. And we attract mirrors (people) aligned to our own mirrors - in duality.

A duality can be a conflict, contrast, complement or polarity. Read more at http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/defining-duality-statements

So we’re attracting people aligned to our own energies, and creating conflict situations with them because our energies conflict and create friction, and then we are absorbing those excess energies into our own systems.

Once a path has been created and followed in the field, it’s like osmosis: where there is a higher concentration, that energy will move to where there is a lack.

We’ve usually shifted that particular set of energies, and the person we’re dealing with keeps creating more of those energies because they can’t process what they have. So each time we see them, we absorb the excess energy they’re creating.

Over time, these channels get so entrenched, that it becomes an almost constant feed of excess negative energy to shift.

This is why you keep “shifting the same issues” repeatedly, and land up with cords and attachments and relationships that keep "coming back". It’s also where you "can’t move the person out of your life".

Twin Flames also face this issue when they try to separate: the energetic cords linking them keep feeding Twin Flame energy to the Twin who is more proficient at shifting.

It’s very common for one Twin to be significantly more “spiritual” than the other, so this is often a one-way street.

6. Money is not our God

When Source, a Higher Power, or God, is King in your life, the customer will NEVER be King.

This is the flipside of the “bad at money” theme that so many of us battle: money holds little to no sway over us.

We’re not scared of being broke, cos well, we’ve lived there most of our lives. We don’t mind tightening our belts cos we’re used to it. And we don’t mind walking away from money to secure our peace of mind!

So in a world where people are used to having power by virtue of money, our attitude of “well bugger your money” and walking away is something unheard of. It's completely in their paradigm blindness window.

Most people will bend over backwards for clients and employers who pay the bills… we’d rather have the drama of unemployment to sort out than live in constant psychic pain and tension.

So where clients are used to getting away with any kind of behavior, we have a limit. When they’ve crossed that limit, no amount of money will persuade us to work with them again.

To people who believe that money is crucial, and all there is, this is honestly as weird as not needing to breathe or eat.
Add a comment...

Post has attachment
What myths might be messing you up when it comes to understanding your Twin Flame?

1. You only have one Twin Flame
2. A Twin Flame is always a romantic relationship
3. Your Twin Flame is guaranteed to work and if it fails, it’s a False Twin
4. Twin Flame relationships will run smoothly from the moment you meet
5. You will be happy when you meet your Twin Flame and you will instantly recognize your Twin Flame
6. Your Twin Flame won’t be married or cheat you/cheat on you
7. All Twin Flame relationships follow the same pattern and trajectory
8. Sex and appearance are not important in romantic Twin Flames

Read more below on Collective Evolution​

http://www.collective-evolution.com/2018/05/25/8-dangerous-myths-about-twin-flame-relationships/
Add a comment...

Post has attachment
Many of the common markers for spirituality are labelled as mental illness by the rest of the world. The first example we jump to of a loon is usually the guy who "thinks he's Jesus".

The whole mental illness thing is mind control, like the addiction and the victim mentality. All of them are designed to make you believe that there are things you can be powerless against.

All of them are designed to make you believe that there are circumstances under which you have no control or free will choice.

It's just a too intense expression of ego desires and emotions. All mental illness is spiritual and is about the combination of how ego is expressed.... more ego with projection equals more violent mental illnesses.

lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/why-are-spiritual-people-often-depressed-and-suicidal-the-link-between-your-spiritual-journey-and-mental-illness
Add a comment...

Post has attachment
If you'd like a nice surprise, scroll back on your feed to about a year ago, and look at what you were posting a liking then - and how far youv'e come since then.

If you do journal, you could grab a journal and look too :)

You are going to be quite staggered at how far you've come and how much you've grown in the past year!

http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/easy-tools-to-measure-your-growth-and-change
Add a comment...

If you'd like a nice surprise, scroll back on your feed to about a year ago, and look at what you were posting a liking then - and how far youv'e come since then.

If you do journal, you could grab a journal and look too :)

You are going to be quite staggered at how far you've come and how much you've grown in the past year!

http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/easy-tools-to-measure-your-growth-and-change
Add a comment...

Post has attachment

What you’re not expecting about marketing a spiritual, personal development or healing business

http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/what-you-re-not-expecting-about-marketing-a-spiritual-personal-development-or-healing-business

What you’re not expecting about marketing a spiritual, personal development or healing business

In my former life, before I was a loud, ballsy, offensive teacher and healer LOL, I was a marketing aficionado.

Naturally, I thought that when I delved out into the teaching and healing world, that I would be able to translate my knowledge and success into a parallel success in this market.

LOL… I thoroughly saw my ass with that ;)

Luckily I have a GREAT of a sense of humor when it comes to failure, trials and shifting... so here we are to unpack the unique aspects of spiritual marketing you’re NOT expecting.

People expect it to be free

If I had a penny for every time that someone has been angry at me for "daring to charge for my services", well then, I’d have a good few truckfuls of pennies ;) But I’d probably still have to charge.

Being spiritual, and especially doing God’s work, means that you must live completely outside the world of money and not need any at all apparently.

In the same vein, people think nothing of talking to you for hours in-between booking a single appointment of an hour, or sending long volumes of emails for you to read through… up to 42 in a single day; you’ll often land up investing way more hours than what is necessary with clients.

If you think about it, it’s the way that people treat God too… God must fetch, carry, be a servant, be around when they need help… and in return? They’ll pray when they want something else, more stuff, or need more help.

You start developing a sixth sense about the time-wasters and you need to use it. An effective method is to raise payment upfront.

Just be prepared for the inevitable lambasting of your character and comments along the lines of “how dare you call yourself spiritual?"

People are lazy to do the work themselves

Ironically, when you do give people free resources, they don’t use them.

The sad truth is that people often don’t want to grow - they just want an audience to listen to their vitriol about how terrible their lives are, how much trauma they’ve endured, and how fascinating their spiritual experiences are.

Then they want you to appoint them the next celebrity Messiah, with a miracle that you perform, that elevates them to a level ABOVE you - and everyone else.

The instant gratification, quick fix, silver bullet miracle cure in other words.
People have no idea of what healing, spirituality, coaching, teaching, etc entails

People expect miracles to be instant and glamorous - and HUGE.

So small wins, small relief, and techniques where they have to do the hard graft themselves? Not interested.

Also don’t dare do anything that results in anything other than the person feeling amazing immediately - long term thinking just doesn’t feature for people.

Ego is used to getting what it wants - and we’ve built a society that has made everything about our personal happiness (if there is such a thing), and getting what we want. Or at least the hope of getting what we want - fast food style: no waiting, no long term input, no hard graft, and definitely no learning.

People are clueless about about the world of spirituality for the most part, and especially what a spiritual journey, over years, looks like.

I remember being one of them - wanting everything early, in my 20s already… and feeling like a failure because I didn’t get there.

Now I’m a bit older and wiser, and I can see WHY I couldn’t be ready then - I lacked the life experience, and the time to practice and develop my skills. I hadn’t been alive long enough at 30 to have developed all those skills.

And I’m pretty sure that when I look back to now at 60, I will feel the same way about this me, now.

People believe that they are the authority

For now, however, this is the highest level of knowledge I know of - and that’s where everyone else is coming from too. We call this paradigm blindness.

Paradigm blindness means that people can’t see much past their own internal level of knowledge. So they have paradigm blindness to what is possible on the journey.

For a seasoned veteran like me, I’ve had loads of experiences and I work in the realm of the extreme experiences. So I’m open to accepting and understanding any piece of knowledge.

However, for someone who hasn’t experience healing and clearing firsthand, or who hasn’t journeyed, my life sounds like science fiction. Or potentially mental delusion.

That doesn’t mean that they won’t go watch a movie about someone with abilities like that; it just means that I’m a fruit loop for daring to think those things are even possible for any one of us. Or that there are those who have achieved them.

People are EASILY offended

And nothing offends people more than the idea that they aren’t the authority - that their truth doesn’t trump.

So when you take a content marketing approach to the whole thing, you run the risk of offending people in a detail in the piece, even if they agree with everything else you have to say - and have agreed with you up until now.

So the first time you’re likely to hear from someone in comments is because they lay into you, insulting you and your intelligence. The comment is usually along the lines of “I liked you until now - and now I can see that you’re a total idiot.”

You will literally lose fans and followers because of a single detail or point of view - and the reactions are extreme. You are about 10,000 times more likely to hear from someone that is angry at you than you ever are to get a like.

So you can literally land up with good, popular pieces where the only comments are insults. Often in fact, because the good pieces are usually the ones that spark controversy for these types of people.

And there are so many, many, many ways that you can offend someone when you’re talking spirituality… so you have develop a VERY thick skin.

LOL, it’s damn good ego mitigation practice though ;)

Common jargon does not exist yet

So people are using terms that mean different things to different people.

And you’d be surprised at how low the level of knowledge out there is, even for the basic words, like healing. People who consider themselves “spiritual” may only have been for ONE healing session in their entire lives - a few years back.

So where you are coming from a place of understanding the difference between healing, clearing, shifting, coaching, mentoring, etc, your marketing almost ALWAYS has to come from a place of explaining it from scratch. Because most of the people reading it are clueless to your jargon.

One thing this does is make it feel like you are always at the beginner level - and at a point you want to start moving faster and teaching the higher level stuff. But you often get stuck catering ONLY to what people want, like Twin Flames and wealth, even though you know that you can offer no more than a band aid for that stuff.

In many ways, this means that you never get to display the best parts of you in your marketing, and you never get to work on the fascinating stuff. You also run the risk of attracting needy and clingy clients who don’t really want to heal and prefer to stay mired in their own misery.

Watch enough people stay “stuck” like that, for so long, when they are your clients, and it can knock your self esteem as a healer hugely. Detachment is your key here.

Lack of knowledge and vocabulary is also part of the problem of why people get so offended… they carry misinterpretations of the information and apply those, instead of being able to read the piece with open-mindedness and clarity.

If you understand how the evolution of the journey happens, this isn’t a problem, because you will evolve into understandings of terminology - just like how the new words and knowledge appear as you level up more.

However, on a planet of “my subjective truth” where everyone is "entitled to their opinion", and believes their opinion is the highest knowledge, this becomes a problem.

So "facing your dark" and "shadow work", which is facing the pain and ego emotions that dwell inside you - and mastering them - gets people believing you’re talking Satanism.

They won’t go out and research though, or clarify that they understand: they will simply assume they’re right and then go at you in public.

If you were doing this for your journey, that would be okay, but when this is your marketing stream, the attacks can scare off potential new customers.

It will ONLY get worse as you progress further along the path and the chasm between you and others grows even more.

Here's an article of spiritual jargon terms that make your journey easier: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/spiritual-jargon-that-will-greatly-simplify-your-journey

People want to be spoon-fed… so lots of push marketing

This is not unique to spiritual marketing at all - it’s probably common to all types of marketing today. You have to repeatedly get out there and engage in marketing activities that find people and drive them to your content.

However, the spiritual and personal development journeys mean that when people are shifting and working through their layers, their mind goes foggy and they can’t recall much of anything.

So it’s not enough to deliver the content once and hope that people will keep it on hand for when they need it… you have to deliver the content to them, at the right time, when it’s relevant to them.

This is made way harder by the fact that journeyers isolate themselves and don’t go online much when they’re shifting!

This isn’t crucial to survival, it’s considered a luxury

If you asked me, I’d say this is crucial to survival… and across the decades of my personal healing journey, I regularly spent my last pennies on healing sessions. Nothing was more valuable than healing to me.

However, the social view is that this is a luxury - not necessary to the "real world survival issues" of life.

So the moment people don’t have money, yours will be among the first costs to be cut. So you may be doing well with new and regular clients, and then hit a month or three where all of a sudden no one has money to do business with you - and you have to start the hunt for new clients all over again.

And, as above, you have to hit people when they are shifting the issue and it is relevant to them.

As you shift, you won’t relate to the same clients anymore

Over time, this is going to get more and more difficult to do because your path is going to take you to places where you no longer relate to your clients. Drop enough mirrors and you’ll have to attract a whole different group of clients.

Free Mirrors resources at http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/newmirrors/ and 300 free resources at http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/free-diagnostics-tools

Notable among these levels where you will suddenly stop relating to people, is Christ Consciousness…. when you go from “Source" and a "Higher Power" to using words like God and discussing religion, people get very offended - including religious people.

The conflict that you will face, and choice you have to make, though, is are you willing to stall or delay your own journey in order to serve people’s needs and give them what they want?

After all, you’ve only become the teacher as a result of your journey’s trajectory. Are you willing to stop growing in order to teach people what they’re comfortable accepting?

Balancing the conflict of editing what you share, and teaching what you need to teach in order to continue growing, is going to be a constant bug bear for you on your teaching journey. Every time you edit for people, it is going to slow you down and irritate you more and more.

You may look very bipolar for a while as you flip flop between catering to their wants and then standing in your beliefs.

Any PR expert will tell you that looking bipolar in media is not a good idea.
Lack of word of mouth and social media movement

Another thing you’re not expecting is the word of mouth, and word of mouse, or social media LACK of movement.

Regardless of the type of advertising your business does, at the end of the day, it is people telling each other about you that brings business to your door on an ongoing basis, and helps you grow your client fold.

However, in the development game, you’re dealing with a VERY niche group of clients - and often a VERY small market to start with.

Even among that market, there are people who don’t know enough for you to be able to market to them… they might never have experienced an actual healing before, or know what healing can be applied to, for example. Very rarely will you find people who can distinguish between modalities and have a broad range of knowledge.

So your reach is limited to a confined group from the outset - and most of them happen to be isolated loners. Just like you and me LOL ;)

So just like us, they have a limited circle they share anything with, and that circle often includes people they would never speak to about spirituality.

I hear this often from people - they’re too ashamed to post a question, thought or idea on their Facebook feeds, or any social media. They’re too scared to let anyone know they are spiritual or interested in any of this weird stuff.

Read more about this at http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/people-think-us-spiritual-types-are-weird

So they don’t like posts, share posts or comment - but they do read. You can reduce the average return on digital marketing ten times on spiritually related content - it’s as low as 0,05% to 0,2%. That’s how low the numbers of engagement will be compared to those who see and read the piece.

And then they project that out onto you, even when they are brave enough to share. Can’t tell you how often I get asked if people CAN share something off my site or my feeds.

Even though I post PUBLICLY, people’s fear of sharing spiritual and development content is so huge, that they ask permission on an instance to instance basis to share the content out.

So, as a result, you have to treat spiritual and healing marketing as if you are always building from scratch - and find ways to create one on one contact with clients you already have in order to keep momentum going.

You can’t just blast stuff, because people are very wrapped in their own journeys and the personal examples playing on their lives, and so if you get the content ANGLE wrong, they will just gloss over what you have to say.

So if they are having money issues, you have to be speaking about money issues… if they’re in Twin Flame heaven or hell, you have to speak about that to get their attention.

Even though the meat of the spiritual journey is in the boring information and layers, people don’t take a learning approach to this: people use spirituality to improve the specific parts of their life that they want to focus on.

So unless you hit them with the CONTENT FOCUS of what they are currently focused on, you stand little to no chance of getting their attention.

It’s hard to title pieces

Speaking of the content you have to share… it’s really difficult to title pieces in the spiritual game.

Clickbait is something we all know about because it’s so prevalent: juicy pictures and titles that get you to click through.

A lot of the topics we talk about however are not so sexy and glamorous - and because you’re fighting people’s content association filters, they will gloss over the stuff they think is not immediately applicable to them.

So people will only learn in soundbytes, and you can’t rely them on having knowledge you may have written in an earlier piece.

Editors often complain that us spiritual types want to get too advanced… but from our point of view, it’s because we’ve been stuck talking about boring basics for years.

But if you want to achieve a wider reach, you’re gonna be stuck talking about basics for a really long time LOL :)

It makes you aware of why we lack expert teachers… experts are interested in focusing at their level of knowledge, what they are learning… just like the students want to stay focused on the basics that they are learning :)
Add a comment...

Post has attachment
I need to feel better BEFORE I carry on doing the work… this is a lie!

"I’m feeling overwhelmed - I’ll do the work when I’m settled.”
“It’s all too much for me - I need to take a break.”

If I had a penny for every time I’ve heard this, I’d be a wealthy woman ;)

The saddest part? This is EXACTLY why your spiritual journey keeps stalling.

When it gets crazy hectic it’s NOT a sign to slow down - it’s sign for you to speed up, because the shift is at its peak, and the stuff is ready to release.

The exhaustion, anger, emotion, fatigue? That’s the shift itself… and when you reach the right statements, you will find the relief from what you are feeling in that moment.

When you stop and take a break until you feel better, you just ensure that you have to go through all of that again and dredge up and relive all that emotion again.

When things get hectic is when you knuckle down deeper into your shift… so yes, take the day off, but spend it shifting instead of vegging.

In the beginning, it will be hell to try and force yourself to move forward when you feel that bad, so you probably need to contact a healer to help you.

Good healers will be able to do distance healing work on you if necessary, to help you reconcile and release stuff. However, you want to get to a point of coaching and mentoring style work as quickly as possible.

Th way that coaching and mentoring style work differs is that it happens on the conscious level, so when you take that approach, you learn from the coach or mentor how to do this for yourself - it becomes a conscious skill you can call on at a later stage. You’ll need that, because this is never the last time you’ll spend in this place.

We spend our whole journeys trying to avoid pain and trying to gain immediate personal happiness, and then when it gets to the kitchen sink work of the spiritual journey - like feeling the stuff that lies inside us - we fall over because we have no skills or stamina to manage it.

At its core, regardless of the modalities you apply, journey, healing and development work is about bringing stuff to consciousness - which means processing it with our conscious minds. The part of us that is awake that we think of as “me”.

So with insights you understand this… you’re fumbling around in the dark and suddenly you get an aha moment or insight that comes to your conscious mind and you feel the release. Usually accompanied by a “duh - how was I that daft previously?”

Do you see the pattern above about how it’s when the thought becomes conscious that you get relief? Okay good.

Now - understand that your emotions and thoughts work in exactly the same way.

So when you bottle an emotion up, or ignore it, or let it play out or settle, what you are doing is keeping it at the subconscious level. When it’s subconscious it can hurt and unsettle you… just think about the chaos a few seconds before you have the conscious thought?

That moment before the “duh”…. it was chaos that led you to seek an answer or insight in the first place.

It’s the same chaos that you’re experiencing in these emotions and thoughts, and the physical state you’re in, at the moment you need to “rest” before you come back and face this again.

So, it stands to reason that you release that emotional, mental and physical state in the same way: by bringing the awareness to consciousness.

Why does it feel so bad when you’re doing it? First because you spend so much time avoiding doing it that you have no stamina to do it, and secondly because it is made up of a bunch of insights or aha moments, all of which have to be brought to awareness.

The reason you’re feeling like hell in that moment is because you have raised those feelings and thoughts up from the level of the subconscious to the level of the conscious - and you are consciously aware of and feeling them, on the conscious level now.

In the same way the moment of insight, or aha, had to come to your conscious mind and be consciously experienced by you for a second, is the same way that you release that built up emotion. So you have to feel the anger or pain or sadness or doubt consciously, with your active mind.

You have to sit with and feel that emotion for a bit while you shift it - and it only feels so strong because it is so close to the surface. If you take a break, all you’ll do is push that back down into the subconscious layers and you’ll have to repeat the work of digging it all up again.

That also means you’d have to feel all this bad stuff you’re feeling in the moment you “need a break” from, plus more, later on.

You may as well push ahead, bring this to consciousness once, and never have to deal with it again.

What we do is hard… don’t kid yourself. I have been rockbottom and suicidal more times than I can count.

I’ve learned two things though… when I stop personalizing the journey, the terrible pain subsides almost completely. And when you’re going through hell - keep going.

When you’re in this horrible physical, emotional and mental state, it’s easy to want to crawl under the covers and avoid…. and that’s how ego traps you and keeps you stuck.

Facing your shadow (the pain and ego that lives inside you - pain, anger, judgement, fear, humiliation, doubt, shame, embarrassment, envy, jealousy, possessiveness, competitiveness, frustration, impatience, awe and admiration) is not something that is understood in the spiritual communities, but it’s exactly about this: bringing your pain to the surface and airing it consciously so that it has no power over you anymore.

Every single journeyers HAS TO face they shadow and their pain…. “free will does not mean that you get to choose the curriculum and define the content, it merely means you get to decide WHEN you take the course.” (A Course In Miracles)

You will not progress past a certain level until you master shadow work and learn to face and sit with your pain - so you might as well start early and get really good at this process.

Right now it feels like hell to agree to that, but down the line, you will be very glad you did do this - especially once you’ve experienced your first few down and out cycles - where you cycle to the lowest point of an emotion to shift it.

Those ego deaths of the down and out cycles contain so much relief in them, and they truly are the meat of your journey.

And it’s easy to think that facing this will mean confining yourself to a life of psychic pain, but the opposite is actually true: you will have a way to release pain almost immediately, so that it cannot linger and cause long term problems for you.

When stuff gets hectic, push harder. Take the break AFTER you have found the statement of relief, when you’re in a a better space and can ENJOY the time off, and really rest.

All the big breakthroughs you are looking for lie in facing these shadow aspects of yourself… don’t waste your journey and what you’ve achieved so far by avoiding the hard work.

As someone who did the work I can only say that I wish I had started sooner instead of allowing myself to linger in that horrible personal pain for so many years. I could have saved myself so much trauma.

All you achieve by taking a break at these junctures is to ensure that you sit with the pain you’ve raised, lingering and dwelling on it, before it goes back down and can come up for a second round.

The process of taking breaks is actually what is making so many journeys so painful.

Push through and go as deep into the pain as you possibly can - it goes against every instinct you have, I know; it did for me too.

But you have nothing to lose by trying this - except for that horrible pain that lives inside you.

Article on how to do shadow work and cycle down to the bottom of a lesson: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/how-to-do-shadow-work-how-to-face-your-dark-shadow-or-ego

Add a comment...

Post has attachment
6 ways that empaths sabotage their relationships

http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/6-ways-that-empaths-sabotage-their-relationships

What are 6 common ways that empaths land up sabotaging the relationships around them through their natural behaviours and actions?

Being an empath is not easy – you basically live your life experiencing your own feelings, as well as the feelings of most of the people around you.

On a day-to-day basis just the feelings alone can be enough to drown you, and any extra stress can quickly send you over the edge – yet, we seem to be good at creating extra stress unwittingly, especially in our relationships.

What are the common mistakes that empaths make that sabotage their relationships?

1. Thinking for your partner

This could also probably be labeled having the fight in your own head.

You know what I mean right? You’re upset with your partner and you start ‘venting’ or ‘practicing’ what it is you plan to say to him or her, and you land up having, and resolving, the fight inside your head, without any partner participation at all.

Yes, you do feel better, but your partner has missed out on the benefit of the process, and you substituted what you wanted to hear, your ideal responses, for what your partner would have actually said. Over time, this leads to a lot of disappointment, because you’re remembering promises and agreements that were never actually reached in the relationship, only in your head.

2. Speaking for your partner

In the same vein, as empaths we have a tendency to compensate and speak for the other person.

You know how that goes; it starts with a thought like, “Okay, so he battles to ask for help and he sounds down and like he needs love. Let me stop what I’m doing and go and give him love so that he feels better.” Yes you’re fulfilling your purpose and being a good person, but you’re also teaching the other party that they don’t have to communicate their needs, you’ll always be able to see inside their heads.

Over time you will also get resentful that you always have to stop everything to look after this person’s needs, fostering anger and irritation in that relationship, even though it is you that is the catalyst: you’ve created your own obligation to stop what you’re doing and meet this person’s immediate emotional needs.

3. Looking after your needs

At the same time that you’re talking and thinking for your partner, as an empath you tend to carry the load for meeting your own needs within the relationship.

So instead of going to your partner or friend for help, you keep on carrying them emotionally, and you carry yourself - not allowing the other party to look after you.

You don’t ask for advice or assistance or let people know when you’re down or low because of two reasons: first you have created a habit of only relying on yourself, and second you expect people to be able to see and interpret for themselves that you are low. It’s what you do after all.

4. Compromising your needs

Once the emotional load of the relationship, the other person and your own stuff becomes too much, you compromise on the easiest place to compromise – yourself.

In order to save time you only focus on the relationship and your partner or friend, neglecting your needs and ignoring your system. Over time you forget all these small compromises and you just feel the heaviness of the burden. This usually vents in an explosion of, “Nobody cares about me or my needs.”

The sad truth is that it’s us who always compromise our own needs.

5. Not expressing yourself

A long-term effect of compromising your needs is that you stop expressing your needs altogether.

It’s like manifestation, in order to get what you want from the Universe, you have tell the Universe what it is that you want and focus on it intently. So many empaths feel that their needs aren’t met in their relationships, and equally as many of us are guilty of not telling people what we want or what is going on with us.

What is going on with us is a big one here, because we don’t take the time to explain ourselves either: we’re too busy understanding the other person you see? For someone who is not an empath, the sudden mood swings and ups and downs, especially when they seem to be caused by nothing, can look really scary and confusing.

6. Breaking your boundaries

The last unhealthy behaviour that empaths exhibit in relationships is around boundaries.

When we’re pressed to do something that conflicts us, our DIY programming kicks in and we have the fight in our own head – most often choosing to cross the boundary internally on our own. Do this enough times and you’ll feel like you’ve walked miles for the other party’s benefit, while they have absolutely no inkling of the level of sacrifice you’ve made for them.

Finally, boundary breaking leads to anger: anger at myself because I’ve crossed my own internal boundaries or anger at another that has crossed my boundaries. Each time you allow your boundaries to be crossed, another little bit of unexpressed anger builds up. Over time this accumulates exponentially and you land up fuming with the person and hating them for walking all over you.

Add a comment...
Wait while more posts are being loaded