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Alice Austin
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Alice Austin

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I've been on a tear lately, selling a shed full of toys on craigslist. During that endeavor, I ran across this video of one of them. Hard to believe I voluntarily bought something this noisy and annoying, but got to admit it's kinda fun.

I should open a toy store - got way too many old toys & dolls & have been informed not to expect grandkids. I feel garage sale season coming on...
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Alice Austin

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I have a sick fascination with the hoarder shows, but I usually can't watch the ones with animals. This one changed my preconception. This guy has my respect for being a healer rather than a hoarder. It's a tear-jerker, but has a more or less happy ending.
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Alice Austin

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The Tiny Dick Brigade strikes again in Texas. I would be tempted to point & laugh at them if they weren't obviously insane.

At least they've seemed to graduate from driving Hummers, so maybe that's progress on the environmental front?
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The spokeswoman said that the restaurant manager did not want to call 911, for fear of “inciting a riot” and waited for the gun advocates to leave. The group moved to a nearby Hooters after approximately two hours.

Of course they did.
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Alice Austin

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Here's an update on a picture I posted several months ago. Still pisses me off, but there appears to be a more or less happy ending - as much as could be expected.
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I did the same thing with birds. If they were missing toes, or their wings didn't work, or if they were sick and it didn't seem they would get any attention, I would buy them.
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Alice Austin

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As I've long suspected, shotgun to head is the preferable way to go. But Daniel's comment about the agony level of drowning made me flash back to a near-death experience I had in 1969 that usually stays buried in the back of my mind. Don't read further if you aren't in the mood for long-held and long-buried angst.

In 1969, I was either 12 or just turned 13. My 18yo cousin & her friend were visiting & we went to Redondo Beach. They hung out on shore while I braved the 12-foot waves to swim out past the breakers. It was a good time until I tried to get back to shore. Tried to body-surf the waves, but kept getting caught in the undertow & was in a washing machine turbulence. Thought I was gonna drown, but kept making it to the surface just enough to catch a breath before going under again. Had a near-death experience, as in accepting that I was going to die. Finally got to shore and couldn't believe I'd lived through it. Told the teenagers & they blew it off. So I never told anybody else.

Thirty years or so later, The Perfect Storm came out. When I flipped through it, I landed on the page about the effects of drowning and had an anxiety attack. Have still managed to keep it in the back of my mind... until I see something like this that makes me think of it again.

So I'm putting this out in public as a catharsis, that yes, I really did almost die, and nobody knows it but me. Whew, another cobweb cleared out of my psyche.

via +Daniel J. De Jesús 
 
I felt in my heart to share this morbid data table. Please try not to set fire to yourselves... It hurts. 
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I don't see hypothermia on the list. Take a bottle (or two) of your favorite spirit (whiskey), and some not too warm clothes, and hike up into the wilderness mountains during the dead of winter. Find a nice spot to sit down, one with a great view, and proceed to get thoroughly intoxicated. You fall asleep, and die of hypothermia. 0 agony, duration 2000 minutes.
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Alice Austin

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I find the new McDonalds Egg White McMuffin hilarious after the experience I had with my local one almost 2 years ago.  Here are email excerpts I sent at the time:

Woke up this morning & decided I wanted an Egg McMuffin & frozen yogurt.  Sounds simple, right?  But you would be wrong.

Went to Mickey D's at 10:30.  Nobody in the drive-through!  Ordered my Egg McMuffin with no yolk, as I've done for the last 30 years with no problem.  Then it went downhill:

"You want an Egg McMuffin with no egg?"  Explained I wanted the white part of the egg, but not the yolk.  "I don't know if we can do that." 

Three wrong orders and 30 minutes later, this was the outcome:

 So I park & go in.  And wait about 10 minutes.  The manager & 4 other employees discussed it like it was rocket science.  She described to them in detail how this overwhelming cooking accomplishment should be performed.  ("You know how you put the egg into the ring to cook?  You do it the same way, except don't use the yellow part", etc.)  One person pulled out a big book, apparently looking for more detailed procedures.  The counter girl kept telling me it would just be another couple of minutes, and asked me what it meant to not have yolk in it.  (I am NOT making this shit up!)

I just kept smiling pleasantly and patiently, engaging in inane conversation, and hoping nobody was spitting on it.  A perfect example of why I try not to go out in public, and the reason I've never watched the movie "Idiocracy".  No need to pay for a movie when you can live it for free.

....So that was the end of my email rant 2 years ago.  My brother responded that I was being too picky.  And now they're advertising them as their new big healthy thing.  I think that means I win.  Where's my prize?
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You are not allowed to think at McDonalds. Didn't you know that?
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Alice Austin

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This is the latest activity taking place in my neighborhood. It's similar to having go-carts flying over the house at a 50-foot altitude for hours at a time, so that's fun.
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I'm looking forward to it. Just hoping it doesn't happen on top of my house.
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These guys played Friday night at a steakhouse we ate at:  http://www.ogremusic.com/Second%20Pg%20test.html#

They played "Balinese". Being the obsessive type I am, looked at the Balinese website, where they claim they named the Margarita after Peggy Lee in 1948.  http://balineseroom.net/returnofBalinese.htm

May or may not be true, but the history of the place is pretty interesting anyway.
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Alice Austin

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The best craigslist wanted ad I've seen all night:
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So this happened today at the plant where I worked until last July.
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Pamn Baptist's profile photoAlice Austin's profile photoBob Daniel's profile photoGreg Batten's profile photo
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+Paul Becker, the previous fire was at the same location as this one. I believe it was around 2006 or 2007 and that the chemical was an aluminum powder they stored there.
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Have her in circles
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